Now having kids of my own, I see that the planned/accident thing is a bit of a false binary. Of course, on the spectrum there is still the extremes of planned and unwanted, but it's still a spectrum. My first one was planned, but took 8 months to get started. So, the second one wasn't so much planned as she was not actively prevented. We figured conception would be hard for us but we'd be cool with another one, so whenever it comes, it comes. Then the next ones were more like 'we know we'll eventually decide to do another.' I imagine if I have yet another, it'll be 'well, I knew the risks going in..' so I'm kinda sliding across the spectrum over time.
I missed this earlier. My father had the same experience you did...a completely deadbeat father. He decided to take the same approach you did. He's my hero. He used love to cut off what could have otherwise been a vicious cycle for our family. He was and is an amazing father to me and my syblings. I'm inspired by what you're doing. Great stuff.
For me, I'm reversing both of my trends and it is helping my heal my own wounds. I get to be the cool, involved stepdad I never had to my 9 year old stepson, and the father I never had to my 8 month old son. Also have a new found respect for women who stay at home with a new baby. This **** is hardcore. He woke up 8 times last night. I'm going to take a nap now.
That boy needs to be sleeping through the night, man. Google "cry it out method" and your life will never be the same. My boys have been sleeping through the night since they were 6 months. It only took 3 nights (and a couple of bottles of pinot gris...) for it to take effect.
Don't they now say cry it out is bad? Anyways, yeah, a kid that age should make it through the night. I'm struggling with my 2 year old right now. He won't go to bed. He is a very difficult child.
Oh weve tried every method Google has to offer. He's apparently in 8 month sleep regression now. It's a special kind of hell, ill tell you.
To my birth parents, I was a college frat party (guessing a little here) mistake. To my adoptive parents, I was the miracle they had been praying for.
My parents were married 3 years before I was born. A decision was then made to have children...I was the first.
Have to think no. I was a "I'm going off to war" baby. Biological father died in Vietnam before he ever saw me.
My parents were actively trying and seeing fertility doctors because it was taking so long. Both of our kids were planned and happened damn quickly. First took 5 months to conceive, and the second happened the very first time we ditched protection. Hang in there, Moes. It does get easier. My daughter is now almost 5 and my son just turned 3. With my wife working 60-80 hours a week, I take care of them solo a lot. They at least sleep through the night now, and the youngest is just about potty trained. Not being as sleep deprived is so freaking nice, and the day when we're done with diapers is cause to open a very nice bottle of wine.
My parents tried for several years before and after they had me. Somehow they only came up with one kid in 12 years. My husband was an accident, as was one of his sisters. Certain birth control methods do not work for everybody. My son was planned; he was conceived the first month we tried taking chances. (and we just let ourselves take chances rather than desperately trying to make sure we conceived) This was very convenient since I did not have to miss any of the semester at work, got to go through the tiny-infant stage in the summer and still have time for a good long vacation before school started. It is still amazing to me that a year ago I was just thinking, "well, I guess we should try" and now there's a whole new little person who looks in your eyes, "talks" to you, and has his own thoughts and feelings. He is sleeping through the night sometimes, and if he has to get up to eat it's usually just once and right back to sleep. We finally got him trained about that. But yes, it is tough staying home with a newborn. I'm glad I will be going back to work and will rotate child care duties with my husband and the sitter. There's just something exhausting about being the only person responsible for the baby almost all the time.
I put don't know, don't care. I know that the man upstairs has a purpose for me being here, else I wouldn't be here.
I was let go from a job shortly after my daughter was born and got to stay at home to help raise her and it was very very tiring. One thing I will always remember is in the days after 9/11 her sleep filled with nightmares and being very restless. She was only about 10 months old at the time and this was more proof for me that we are all connected in a deep way...
