Don't be so sure. From what I understand, there is unrest in the forest. There is trouble with the trees. For the maples want more sunlight and the oaks ignore their pleas. As far as I can see, the trouble with the maples - and they're quite convinced they're right - they say the oaks are just too lofty and they grab up all the light. But the oaks can't help their feelings if they like the way they're made, and they wonder why the maples can't be happy in their shade. I read an article last week that said there is trouble in the forest and the creatures all have fled. As the maples scream "Oppression!" and the oaks just shake their heads. So the maples formed a union and demanded equal rights. "The oaks are just too greedy; We will make them give us light." Anyway, according to the article, now there's no more oak oppression, for they passed a noble law. And the trees are all kept equal by hatchet, axe, and saw.
Apologies in advance for not having any puns. The guy's point has an implicit (and problematic) assumption that oral history is less trustworthy than textual history. I just wanted to point out that the oral history that produced the cruciform tradition is about as trustworthy as the oral history that produced the Gospels.
It was all just meant to be ironic that Jesus would end up nailed to a piece of wood because Jesus was a carpenter living the wild bachelor life from the ages of 12-30 until ONE DAY his CRAZY father played by Morgan Freeman's Voice told him to get his ass in gear and go get CRUCIFIED. Then Jesus was like "Crucified?" Jesus Christ, I'm Cruci-****ed!" so he figured "eh **** it man, no use fighting it now and changin my wicked look" so kept the hippie beard he'd been growing to "attract the free-spirited, loose groovy chicks", puts on a rockin white dress and then he starts telling people he's the Son of God, 12 dudes out of 50,000 believe him, (what are the odds), and he's still chillin with hookers and trying to evade taxes, occasionally still lettin loose a bit and turning Aquifina into Pinot Grig' and ****, but Jesus keeps it real man and thats why I like Jesus.
Research reveals that there was a severe translation error, he did not die on the cross - Jesus died at the AD 00 X-games, attempting a superman seat-grab in the FMX freestyle motocross contest.
Jesus died on the cross (From Kaka) and when Brazil was awarded a penalty kick, he miraculously rose in 3 seconds. There was no goal however as Jesus planted himself too far to the right. He then created vuvuzelas so nobody would ever give a **** about soccer again.
And as the Uruk-Hai Romans chased Jesus up to Golgotha, he climbed up a the Tree, and cried, "Tree, why hath thou forsaken me?" Where the Tree spoke thusly: "Tree? I'm no tree, for I am Treebeard, the ENT!" At that, the two became friends and then Jesus and Treebeard simply WALKED into Mordor, along with Tank Cat. Where he tossed the Holy Grail into Mount Doom. Killing Voldemort forever. THE END
