Because you don't come off as very self-aware, I'll spell it out for "people like you." You're not a beacon of insight. You're shallow and arrogant. Your argument isn't articulated and definitely not designed to have any kind of dialogue. Your self-satisfied illusory grasp of objective reality is hilarious. Is that why you self-identify as someone who gets high all the time? To "keep it real?" I'm sure "keeping it real" means constantly exploring and understanding others' perspectives. The fact that you even use the phrase "keeping it real" says a lot about where you're at developmentally. I hope you find a solution to whatever it is you're self-medicating against, but keep on keepin' on righteous internet ganja dude. I'm spending the week off the southern coast of St. Barts bonding with amazing people and getting ready to embark on a very gratifying chapter of my life. You're loading a bowl. So, I guess you can Dere-lick my balls, Capitan.
The idiot in this thread that argued with his "ex"fiancee that she did not need a diamond engagement ring..... no wonder she is an "ex". Not all people are the same. I don't think that most people view diamonds as an investment. Sometimes you just indulge your woman, many of them like it and appreciate it. It is something that lasts forever. I am not saying to bankrupt yourself, but if you know your wife wants a diamond engagement ring, and you have the means, you get her one... you don't try to talk her out of it.... you will not really win. If you do not want a diamond engagement, then there is no issue, but if that is what a woman wants, and it is possible... you do it. Then again, maybe some women are okay getting flowers the day after Valentines Day too, it is HALF OFF.
And if your woman happens to want one, it doesn't automatically mean she's a GREEDY b****. Or that's she's insecure. LOL...
Again, shouldn't a woman be happy that you want to marry her regardless of the ring? If a woman doesn't appreciate the fact that you want to marry her and would make you an ex over something so simple, and yes it is very simplistic, then you're probably better off without her.
No, it doesn't. But I think educating your significant other of the history of things and how they were marketed to them is important. Most people don't realize how much they are manipulated by the marketers. I think on a conscious level you kind of know that it's happening but until you read the research that goes into it, you don't realize how much so.
One way to look at it is that if you cannot be financially disciplined and save money for a decent diamond engagement ring (decent is a very loose term that will vary in this matter greatly based on income), you are probably not prepared for the financial commitment and security that is necessary for marriage. How can you be expected to pay the mortgage, save for retirement, and provide for your kids if you can't be disciplined enough to save for a ring?
Again, I didn't buy her a nice ring because she demanded it of me or gave me some kind of ultimatum if I didn't....I did it because I knew it would make her happy. It's really that simple. Would she still be happy without it? Yes. But sometimes you do nice things for each other whether or not you have to. Look, I'm 99.9999% sure my wife didn't marry me for my money. If that's what she was after, she could have done a whole lot better than me.... I can buy that.
requiring an expensive diamond is likely correlated with requiring an expensive/showy wedding. of course it has no bearing on the actual marriage, and is pretty much just a desire to show off or keep up with their friends rather than commemorate the "most important day in a woman's life" (barf). even my progressive, socially conscious friends fall into the trap. i mean i get it i guess, as a woman there's some instinct deep within to snare a man who *can* get you those things, purely a social proof thing, kind of how a lot of men want that trophy on their arm. but when something is such a blatant ripoff (diamond engagement rings, 25k avg. wedding cost) you have to wonder how so many of us eat it up. it's a complete scam. less than 100 years ago women weren't clamoring for diamonds, it's an artificially constructed "tradition" based on a clever marketing ploy. 99% of diamonds are not an "investment", anyways. whatever...people do what they do.
I understand that but there is this notion by some in this thread that it is a must and it absolutely should NOT be. I get it, sometimes you want to get your SO something which is deemed nicer than average but that doesn't take away from the fact that the industry is still a scam, yes just like a lot of other things. Should it be an absolute for everybody, forget that anybody? NOPE! If you want to buy a diamond fine but don't act like, and I am not referring to specifically to you ima, that your ring signifies a greater love or that others are less than you or that the industry is not a complete scam because you choose to buy one.
A desire to show off? Believe it or not, there are some parents that want to give their kids a special wedding. Something to remember. There are also couples/parents that finance the crap out of everything. I don't necessarily agree with that. I want to give my kids all I can if I have the means to do so. Using this as a motivational factor to be uber successful isn't a bad thing
dawg I hope you and your wife find real happiness and that you don't buy things because you feel you have to "keep up" with other people. thats what i was truly concerned about because the "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality in this world is damaging what started as me just kinda pointing out the fact that you bought a ring to "keep up" and not feel embarrassed in front of your brother-in-law, has turned into you talking major **** about me where are you, developmentally? lmao
Someone's got a small codpiece. Seriously. If you think a ring is what makes girls happy your d*** ain't doing it for you and her. Some really low self esteem.
I've always liked your posts in D&D so I'm surprised you posted this. Did it feel good assuming things, and passing off judgement on my intelligence and my relationship so callously? She became my ex for religious reasons, and an ultimatum: either she left me or her family's life would be in danger. I only informed her about something she had always deeply suspected. Yonkers said it well above. Once she knew, she made an independent decision to reject a diamond ring. I suspect that perhaps you and I have different attitudes on women where you do things because they are expected of you based on traditional gender roles (what some say is chivalry) whereas I don't. After reading Aldous Huxley, Thorstein Veblen, and Alain de Botton; having discussions with friends who work in advertising; and, learning philosophy, I no longer wanted to live and do things without questioning them. She did too. "[URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conspicuous_consumption]Conspicuous consumption[/URL], is the spending of money on and the acquiring of luxury goods and services to publicly display economic power" to overshadow insecurities like weakness and mortality. The vast majority of people unconsciously do this when keeping up with the Joneses. I doubt most here think about the Darwinian reasons for purchasing luxury goods. Diamonds, in particular, are different than other luxury goods. Their marketing for being unique is false. That famous slogan which you've been taught taps into our anxiety of being unloved and dying so quickly vs. geological time. All you have is pressurized carbon that has drastically slowed light down to about 75k miles/hr hence the flashiness. Holding that tiny mineral in our hands makes us feel powerful and special. It's a myth brilliantly sold by Cecil Rhodes's successors. TL;DR If you want to still purchase diamonds, fine. I just want people to be aware of the purpose behind our actions and desire. The unconscious and robotic following-the-herd instinct is what this thread criticizes. I (naively) believe that with education, human beings can rise above the Darwinian, rat-race behavior to shun materialism/consumerism. It's never been a matter of money or lack of generosity for me. And sorry for the long post, we were together 5 years and we broke up in April so it still stings.
Are you laughing to relieve the tension of your poorly stated, juvenile, and antagonistic position? Laughter in these situations is a defense mechanism meant to provoke an emotional reaction. Grow up. You're getting closer to articulating something worth discussing, but go back and read your original post if you're curious why you came off as the things I described... dawg. Or brah, or whatever passive aggressive nonsense you substitute for real dialogue.
Who said anything about "requiring" a diamond engagement ring? Also, I agree with you that 99% of the time diamonds are not an investment. People know they are taking a huge loss when they walk the jewelry store. However, if you woman wants one..... from a practical stand point.... if a guy sits down and tries to talk her out of it... he is going to LOSE. I bought my wife a ring bigger than she expected, and yes it is expensive, but she has had that thing on he hand every day since and God willing will for the rest of her life.... to me it is worth it... It cost the price of a car, but she will have it long after a car is off the road. If a woman does not want one, then I certainly would not push it.... but if a woman wants one, and the man is in a position to get it for her, my suggestion would be to get it for her.
