Dear Dwight, It is time. It is time to grow up, be a man, and put away childish things. You’re a man now. Time to shut up…..and play ball. Time to quit all the antics. Time to quit the pout. Time to quit griping about how you’ve been screwed over. Believe me, it happens to all of us. Time to quit complaining. Time to go to work. Time to play the game. And then there will be time for you to play free agency…..however your big heart wants you to play it. Because guess what? Them’s the rules, Big Fella. It is time to quit thinking so highly of yourself and be thankful. Thankful that you have God-given talent, and the natural gift of one of the greatest athletic bodies a man could ever have. That was a gift Dwight. Somebody gave it to you. Remember that. It is time to quit acting like the NBA and the Orlando Magic owe you anything. They don’t. You have been babied, coddled, acquiesced to, and handed favor after favor after favor. You make more money in a week than 99% of the people on this planet make in a lifetime. You have been afforded more privileges and cut more breaks than most every human being that has ever been born. Be thankful that you’ve not been lied to and sold out like your forefathers were. Be thankful that you have been afforded more privileges and breaks than the fella that’s been writing your checks for all these years. Be thankful that the Orlando Magic believed in you enough to take you #1 in the draft when you were just a snot-nosed bratty teenager. Be thankful, Dwight. Grow up and be thankful. In a short time, you are going to be traded. And that’s your doings. Quit blaming everybody else. It’s your fault. You’re the one that decided the grass was greener somewhere else. You’re the one that tried to dupe the team that gave you so much into letting you walk away for nothing or, worse yet, trade you for a pile o’ poo. You’re the one that tried to take them for a ride. And yes, you are largely responsible for that collection of has-been ballers that you’ve been lining up with for the last couple years. Accept responsibility for your mistakes, Dwight. Be a man. You ain’t no NBA GM. You’re a player Dwight, a player. Own your mistake. Your current team’s mistake was listening to you and your posse. They are going to lose you. They’re paying the price for their mistake. Be a man, shut up, and pay the price for making your mistakes. You pulled the strings, you forced things to happen there. Be a man, admit it, own up to it, and move on with your career having learned from the mistake. That’s the way a man does it, Dwight. They confess their mistakes, turn away from them, and turn over a new leaf. You know that’s straight from the Bible, don’t you Dwight? You’re going to be traded to the Houston Rockets. Shut up and quit throwing a tantrum. You don’t own the system. Quit trying to throw your weight around and letting your agent and posse attempt to play mafia wars with the league and the teams involved. You don’t own the NBA. You don’t own the Orlando Magic. You don’t own the Houston Rockets. And your agent doesn’t own any of those entities either. Just shut up and go play ball man. Because you are a player. You’re not the coach. You’re not a GM. You’re not an agent. You're not a mafia heavy. You’re a player! Play the game! Remember, your day is coming. In less than 365 days you’ll be able to choose your destiny. You’ll be center stage. I’m sure ESPN will do another show for you. And I’m sure they’ll hype it to Pluto and Saturn and beyond for you. You’ll get the limelight all to yourself. Because, guess what? Them’s the rules. All 30 teams have to abide by those rules man. None of them can throw a tantrum and demand that you sign with them, they can't threaten you, and they can't rough you up. You’ll have the ability to sign with anybody you please. Because them’s the rules. But until then….shut up and play ball. Do it like a man, Dwight. Just grow up, shut up and play ball. Dwight, good things come to those that wait. Remember that? And also remember, there’s somebody above that’s got the best plan for your life. Remember that from yesteryear? Trust, Dwight. Just trust! Wait and trust. You made the decision to wait another year. So, just wait. Don't try to undo your decision. Shut up, wait, trust the right source…….and play ball. It’ll all work out, Dwight. It’ll all work out. It really will. And you will probably be surprised at how well. Good things come from the strangest places, Dwight, the strangest places. Even as strange a place as Houston. Ahhhh, Houston. Can anything good come out of Houston??? Remember that Dwight? Remember that from days gone by? (It was actually written, can anything good come out of Nazareth?) Now do you remember, Dwight? Yeah…Houston. The place where Lurch is the coach and Dork Elvis is the GM. They got you cornered. You got Orlando cornered. So…they got Orlando cornered. Remember, you could still make it work in Orlando…if you want to. As of now, unless you convert in the next little while, it looks like you’ve chosen…..Houston….the bugaha of the South, Hurricane Houston, home of the termite, fireant, and all those rich boot-kickin’ oil dudes. Yeah, yucky, yucky place. Just terrible. Why you? Woe is you, Dwight. Bunch of silliness. Just shut up and play ball. You gotta put in one year Dude. One piddling year. Remember Joseph in the Bible? Dwight, he was locked up for 2 years…..and he didn’t do nuth’n!!!! Oh, there was this other man too. They crucified him. And believe me. He never did nuth’n wrong to nobody. One year man. And then you can go to the heaven of your dreams, Dwight. You can choose your team. What’s a few dollars when you got heaven, Dwight? It’s just a few dollars. $57 million or so. That don’t mean nuth’n Dwight. You can choose! Just shut up and play already. Oh, Dwight. Your year in prison….it won’t be all bad. We got you a butcher and a baker, man. We got you a PG that can run the pick and roll and throw you the lob man. We got you a good one. Oh, and that nasty string bean from Turkey that stinks so bad when he sweats and gives you fits…well, guess what…you don’t have to play against him for a year…except for practic’n. And remember, it’s just practice. Oh, we got you a baker too. We got a guy that can flat out fly up and down the court, he will help you by defending the perimeter and making sure you get the rock. And all the chicks dig him so if you hang out with him…you’ll get ....ahem....even in the hell that is Houston, yeah Houston, the strip club capital of the world baby. Of course, that could turn into a real hell Dwight. All them kids adds up, you knows. Screeeeeeech! So, it's time to grow up and change your ways and do it like a man. Just shut up, grow up, and play ball and quit playing the field. Oh, Lurch. Almost forgot, good ole Lurch. Guess what, Dwight. Turns out dude was one of the best post big men to eva play the game. Yeah, eva. You think Scola has post moves? Dwight, Scola is a kindergartner in post moves compared to long-legged Lurch man. Lurch…..he’ll help your hall of fame career. He already did it with Kevin Garnett. But you could actually be better....and a whole lot nicer, Dwight. Yeah, I know, poor Lurch has a personality somewhere between Angel Martin and Eddie Haskell. But learn! Shut up, learn, and play ball. Oh, Dork Elvis. Dwight, that dude, he can pull ballers out his nostrils man. Dude knows how to find ‘em. Dork Elvis….he’s really Bobby Fischer reincarnate. He’s crazy. And he’s got you checkmated. Just shut up and play and watch him do his job. You’re gonna be shocked. Oh Dwight, the owner. Remember Vizzini in the Princess Bride? Well, turns out he bought a basketball team. But he’s not no shrimpy, wimpy guy like Vizzini in real life. Turns out the guy is the Al Davis of basketball. Juth win, baby, win. Hear the lisp? Dwight, shut up with telling everybody you want to win. Vizzini tells good ‘ole Dork Elvis that every time they speak to each other. You don’t have to do that there. The owner will say it 100 times more than you will. Just shut up, play ball, and go win baby. Win while you're in prison...like Joseph did. Doh, almost forgot….da fans. Dwight, that town loves their basketball. They’ll knock your socks off. Just shut up, listen to them scream…….and play ball. Dwight remember, your day is coming. You’ll have a choice to make. It will be all yours baby. You will be Superman deciding where he lives and plays. Be a man about it. Just shut up, be thankful, admit your mistakes, don’t make the same mistakes again, shut up your agent, quit threatening things you can’t make happen, accept things as they are, wait, trust, quit playing the field, learn, let other people do their jobs, and play ball. Because after all, first things first, you’re a baller. In closing, you’ve changed your mind many times. If you change it one more time, it won’t really matter much….will it? It's time, Dwight. It's time.
...come on man, you got to edit it down. I bet you could have said the same thing in half as many words.
*dead* Bwahahahahaha! Real talk tho....I'm sure in that passage I also didn't read, homie made some real points. Too bad DH's hoe ass can't comprehend the concept of "accountability" Ahh well. We'll all be thankful in the long run. Thank you, Dwight!
...there is a good chance Dwight won't get any of those references but who cares cause he aint reading that.
Wow!!! Blah blah blah, dwight is really not going to come now! Rant?????? Venting???????? Do u feel better now by writing about your feelings????
