SCK says "please and thank you" = getting some SCK not saying "please and thank you" = not getting some Why am i not surprised? :grin:
My gf and I take turns. I usually take most of the bill on food though, while she takes the tab for movies and such. Our first 3 or so dates, we split the bills (not my plan). OP: I agree with previous posters that you don't expect the girl to pay when you take them out to expensive places. Why did you choose those places anyways?
I can see the vantage point, that the tradition of having a man always pay for a woman makes her in essence a kept woman, removes her agency. I get that. But isn't the whole idea of "obligations" cut from the same sexist cloth? The idea that men have to pay for dates because they expect something in return, because on some level they believe that women don't(/can't) enjoy sex, and thus must be bribed into it? Seems like any guy who expects to get laid for shelling out for dinner (a standard Friday dinner, in this land of plenty, being in the grand scheme of things ridiculously cheap) probably isn't worth the mental effort to begin with. If I make/have more money than a date (and I like the person) I'd prefer to pay more often; if my date has/makes more money than me, I would probably prefer the opposite. How do you gauge that? Only date within a very narrow social/economic strata? Or split the bills, no matter who makes what? I like the principle of always splitting the bill, or taking turns, but ultimately I'd feel it was an empty gesture if I was (Y'all still make 75-80 cents on the dollar for equal work, right?) making significantly more, or less, than whoever I was dating.
I would continue to pay (maybe find inexpensive things to do), but if you're dating a girl and it has been two weeks and you haven't got any, it's time to move on.
If I feel a connection and I really like the girl, I will always pay. But if I feel she's leeching me, and I'm good at detecting leeches, then I will excuse myself to the bathroom and go out the window.
I didn't choose the 3rd date. The girl chose the 3rd date, which turned out to be on the pricey side, which is fine if she was into me but she clearly was not (as I found out at the end of the third date). Third date = Dinner and drinks (I paid), Went to see a show (Her idea, I paid for tix), Drinks at show (Only time she offers to pick up tab on any of our dates, but I paid anyway), More drinks after the show (I paid). And then I drop her off at home and get a downgrade from Kissing (and making out) to a Hug? Really? I didn't expect to get laid that night but I thought the hug was pretty cold. I'm sure she planned on downgrading me to the hug before the third date for whatever reason, yet she still had me paying all night? At the very least, she could have turned down drinks after the show and ended the night earlier instead of stringing me along. If I were in her position, I would have just flaked on the third date all-together or offered to pay for more things on the third date and ended it as early as possible so that I wouldn't feel like I was taking advantage of the situation.
Could it be possible you did or said something that made her decide during the third date that she wasnt into you? You're assuming she led you on, but maybe she changed her mind, possibly even on the way home. Or maybe she did lead you on...but you have to wonder if maybe she's that type and you maybe could have figured it out, but decided to keep going or were blinded by her physically or something else. Personally, if i've already made out i'd greet her with a kiss or get some in earlier in the date. Maybe you can try that next time to avoid being led on. How did you meet her?
Hopefully this will answer all your questions. <object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/wYzM9M9zNZk&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/wYzM9M9zNZk&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
Depends on the girl Fortunately I'm dating a realistic woman who realizes that I am a college student and my financial resources are not vast. I drive, since she doesn't, and cover my own gas. We started going dutch recently b/c we are both short on money. We split the cost of most things right now the middle.
any girl that doesn't like radiohead isn't worth the time anyways. <object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/CKGyRGqHcmU&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/CKGyRGqHcmU&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
I dunno, I just sort of automatically pay, I don't expect her to offer. It's nice if she makes a token attempt from time to time. I don't think about it like the OP, though. I pay, but I don't expect anything because I pay.
depends on how hot she is imo. but your third date sounds like it was a possible downer? if you do okay money-wise... and if you want a piece of gorgeous @$$? i see 'paying for dates' as the price you pay at a shot to pull some hot, classy tail... most women that hot aren't going to just give any ol' dude a shot... it's called: THE GAME. but relationships are a TOTALLY different story.
I'm old fashioned. Pulling a chair out for the lady, opening doors, walking her to her door, and picking up the tab are all big bonus points and should be done at least the first few dates when you ask her out. Serious serious bonus points if done, and often times deductions if not. A lot of women really do pay attention to that. Most women want to be romanced. Women should pick up the tab later on when a relationship is established, but as long as you are still courting her, it's on the gentlemen. Women should offer to pay, but a gentleman shouldn't let her. I heard on a show once- "Feminism? Isn't that the thing that killed romance?"
The correct answer is: It depends on how well the date is going. If things are going well, you're clicking, and you want to see her again, you grab the check. If she's lame and the date is a dud, you ask the waitress, "Could you please do separate checks for us?"
