When I was single, I never allowed a girl to pay and it was never expected. Hell, I can only think of one time where a girl even offered. However, I guess I would be pissed as well if I went on 3 dates with a girl only to discover that she wasn't interested in me.
exactly...sounds to me like he's trying to hard right off the bat and therefore setting himself up for failure, since most dates won't get very far. You end up putting a lot into it over a short period of time and if it doesnt work out, that's a horrible investment. It doesnt even have to be a fast food place, if you think that's too cheap. Try a movie first, just to see what she's like and if they'll be a second date. Make the second date a nice, but not expensive dinner, so you can get to know her even more to decide if there will be a third date. By then, you should know enough to cut her loose or want to put more money down on a date. If you're just trying to score, then you can't complain. If you're using them, then expect to get used as well. If you actually want to find "the one", then she should understand why you work your way up, if she doesnt understand, then she's not the one. I dont think the first few dates should be nothing more than a casual interview for both, no reason to spend $120 bucks in one night.
See, I don't like this. Call me odd, but I get embarrassed if my fiance pays for anything for me when I'm around (clothes, food, movie tickets, etc.). The only thing I don't get embarrassed about is when she's buying stuff for herself (and I still offer anyway). It annoys me when she would insist about getting a dinner bill or groceries or something because she knows I have no problem getting it and I continually tell her that I'll be embarrassed if I don't. It's nice and all that you want to get stuff, but don't embarrass me. I can pay for it. I will pay for it.
If a guy took me to a fast food restaurant on a first date I would instantly be disappointed. Maybe the second date? But for the first you're trying for a great impression, right? McDonalds? First Impression? No thanks. You don't have to have a fancy steak dinner, but Olive Garden...something like that.
My SO told me once about an experience she had before she met me. A guy at the university kept hitting on her, and she finally weakened one day when she had nothing to do that evening. Turns out the fellow went bat-**** crazy. Spent hundreds of dollars on the evening, trying to impress her. She left him with a kiss good night and tried not to choke. Certainly never considered going out with him again. Sometimes people just try too hard, like you said. If finances are tough, don't spend the freakin' money! Take her to a movie and maybe drinks after. If she asks about dinner, ask if popcorn at the flick and appetizers with the drinks later would be OK. After a good film, some food, and some drinks, things should move right along if they're going to.
But why would you be embarrassed? I would be embarrassed if the guy paid for everything. Horrified actually. Since when is shouldering an equal share embarrassing?
I always just assume that if the girl really wants to pay, then she will say something. So usually I just pay out of habit, and it's no big deal.
The vast majority of the population expects the guy to pay. That's still how it is whether you agree with it or not. If I don't pay, those folks who expect me to do so could potentially think ill about me not paying. I don't like that thought. It's embarrassing. I'm all for equity, don't get me wrong, but society still expects the man to pay. Period. Or maybe I'm just paranoid and society doesn't think that.
I think it all depends on the situation...for example, i met my ex in class at UH, so after talking to her i invited her to eat after class. We ended up at Taco Bell :grin: In that situation, it works, but in others it may not, so i agree to not be Mcd's cheap, but dont go overboard. I forgot to add in my earlier post that it depends on the girls situation also. Are you dating a woman, with a career? Is it a college student who lives at home and without a job? Is it a high school girl? You have to take into consideration her financial status. My first girlfriend right out of high school lived at home, no job, no allowance, nothing....so i knew when i asked her out she wouldnt have money in the immediate future, maybe longer, so i was ready to pay for as long as i needed to.
Dating is for suckers, as evidenced by the original post. If you have to ask a woman 'out', get a cup of coffee.
i took a girl to McDonald's once. She ordered the number 3, which was cool with me. Then she asked to have it supersized. Right then and there, I knew she was too high maintenanced. Never dated her again.
You go on a date with a guy, there are implications of certain obligations whether he pays for you or not. The difference is one way he is giving you something too and the other he's getting the milk for free.
You are right. It does depend on the situation. If you're going on a blind date or on a date with someone you kind of know then go for higher up. Dates that run from a previous encounter such as yours would be okay like that. My first date I was a single mother living with my mother with no job. Ha. If he expected me to pay he was sorely mistaken.
Society thinks a lot of things... I'm all for being reasonable with social mores but I think we're wayyy past the point in history where it's strange to have a woman pay for half. kind of upsetting to me, actually. I didn't know it was still normal for a guy to pay for everything/most things.
