I'm with Eddie Griffin on this one. Two Saturdays...or a new hair-do... whichever comes first. However, here is the official man law: <object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xsUtEIsU72U"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xsUtEIsU72U" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>
If you're really planning on making this a no-commitment, casual type of thing, then there's no harm in going for it cuz people have short memories and your friend will have forgotten about it 2 years from now when you and this chick have long since broken up.
I think you should ask your friend just one more time.......you know, for clarification. Only this time.......ask him in front of his new woman.
This is a tough one, I feel the same way as your friend. Once one of my buddies had dated a girl, she was off limits. But, that is not the way everyone feels. He has no claim, but it could be awkward. If you really have to, then you should have just done it and told him about it later.......better to ask forgivness than permission in situations like these.... DD
Pun is on point... I personally would not do it, it just a higher level of respect between me and my close friends...
I personally haven't done anything like that i guess, but at the same time what is he going to do when his wife to be asks him "Honey why are you mad at him" Do you think he is going to blurt out "Cause he dated my ex" i think his ass would be handed to him by the wife to be for even worrying about an ex. Just my funny point of view..but then again i have never done that.
After some thought I think your friend is no friend at all. In all honesty, If one of my "close" friends were in your situation (i.e. broken hearted and about to get divorced) and I was in your friends shoes (i.e. about to marry another woman) I would be on the phone w/the ex hooking you up personally. That's what I believe the brothers refer to as "good lookin out." ..that is unless I still had feeling for her. In which case she's off limits.
I think it can be awkward for your friend knowing that he had been involved with the girl, and now you are involved in some way even if it isn't serious, maybe even more so because it isn't serious. However, he should understand that his strange feelings about it, doesn't mean that you shouldn't date her. I would ask him again explaining that you know it is awkward, giving the situation, but that you don't really feel it is wrong. You might even explain the tough situation you are in right now, and here is someone that you already are familiar with, and would be able to have some much deserved fun with. But in the end if she isn't going to be anything serious, then she isn't worth screwing up a friendship over. The same friends who believe that it is OK for you to go out with her, won't think less of you, if you don't.
Hey RM95 It was only 5 months ago that you and she got counseling and things were going well (link). so I was really surprised and saddened to see this thread. I've got a couple of guy friends who are going through divorce and they are both going out with multiple women. I gotta say... It just doesn't seem like a very good idea to be dating again so soon after a long term relationship. It seems as if that throws a guy into a whirlwind of emotions: feeling really good for hooking up with multiple new chicks, but feeling really bad because they know that the short-term relationships aren't as fulfilling, and then the reminiscing of the marriage kicks in... ... I'd say... focus on the things you enjoy doing. Get active in those things and in those communities. Dive into your work, get a pet... I'd just think it'd be a good idea to focus on you for a while, let the dust settle from your divorce, let your feelings solidify a bit and take your time.
sorry man... I haven't been around all the time lately, but looks like I missed a bunch of stuff. Take it easy and hope things get better... at least you seem to be bouncing back.
It shouldn't be a big issue unless she has some **** on him that he doesn't want one of his circle of buddies knowing.
Not to derail the thread or anything, but I'm feeling pretty damn good. Turns out that a girl I've had a crush on for over a year is starting to show some signs of interest. Life is a roller coaster. There are highs and lows in every relationship we have. As bad as the lows are, I wouldn't want it any other way. RM95, there will be some major highs in your future. Don't fret too much.
I always feel that if it is over between them(and it wasn't a mariage) it is over, and you are free to go. I think it is good that you asked him. If you like the girl you should go for it. why would you waste the chance of meeting and hooking up with a great girl, because a long time ago your friend used to date her. He obviously doesn't feel the same way, maybe he is not completly over her. It depends how good of friends you two are. But i say go for it, your other friends seem to support you. And if the girl and youa re both interested why not.
If they were together for a bit then I can see why he would feel weird about it. I can see someone wondering why, out of all the women to choose from, you would choose the woman they were once with.
Exactly how I feel but you summarized it better. However, we have to respect whatever decision RM95 makes since it his life.
