[DATING]Question - Could You Go Out With Someone Who Makes More Money Than You?

It would bother me if the woman is in a completely different class than me. If I was a blue- collar worker and she was a lawyer it would be weird. If I'm a white collar worker and she's some ultra rich Hollywood girl living off her parents, it would also be weird. We'd just be too different.

 

my wife makes more money than i do...
however, she spends more money than i do.


[insert patrick ewing/gold club joke here]

 

My wife is freaking smart as hell. I know one day she will pass me up. I am cool with it. We have a relationship where we are one unit. So if she is making the moola, we both are making the moola.

 

I would probably suggest it in the first place. I wouldn't want there to be any sort of issue that I am in it for the money. If things went bad, I certainly wouldn't want anything I didn't deserve in the divorce.

 

I really don’t care, the money all goes to the same accounts and bills anyway.. If she makes more money doesn’t that mean "WE" make more money?? I'm cool with her making more, but I say that with a girlfriend who goes to school fulltime still.. If it's only all up in your head why worry about it, just roll with it and have fun along the way..

 

I guess if he cleaned the house, did the laundry and fixed you a sandwich whenever you wanted one, it'd be cool.

If I met a woman like that, hopefully I'd already know what I'm getting into.

I'd think I'm lucky in some respects if I left a marriage without either party using money to cripple one another.

 

First, to answer the initial question: I would feel a little uncomfortable, especially if she were supporting me. I realize there's no rational reason in the world why a women couldn't and shouldn't earn more than I, I'm just more comfortable in a provider role. However, it would be far from a deal breaker, just something I'd have to get over.

As for the second question, I have no problem with my wife protecting prior wealth as long as wealth accumulated together was subject to fair and equitable division.

 

I'm married to someone that makes more than me.

And I encourage her to keep advancing in her career. My wife is very intelligent, foxy... and my best friend.

If it were about money, then we wouldn't be going on 10 years, after plenty of poorer days when she didn't even work outside the home.

Money shouldn't get in the way of a relationship. If it does, check your (and their) priorities.

 

I ain't saying I'm a gold digger, but I ain't messin with no broke sistas.

 

FWIW - I feel like a pre-nup is the first sign that divorce is a viable option to this "love" of your life.

Bad sign.

 

Yea, a pre-nup is a bad idea...especially if your wife is rich.

 

For those of you who are in arranged marriages or will be in an arranged marriage (basically the South Asians on this site), did/would you reject a girl because she made more money than you?

There should be some interesting responses.

 

Great topic.

Last year I went out with a girl who was 26 and just entering the six figure club. I was a 30 year old student living off of loans. It was awkward. I couldn't afford to live her lifestyle but I wanted to spend a lot of time with her. I ended up spending way too much money trying to keep up with her becuase I felt like a mooch when I didn't pay my share, not that she ever made me feel that way.

My new girlfriend and I broke up last week because we are going opposite ways. She plans on being a doctor and I'm not sure where I'm going right now. She has some pretty rich taste. She'd love to eat fine dining every week while I'd rather travel the globe bargain stlye. I think that we could meet in the middle but I don't think we'll be patching things up. Pity.

Anyway, I think I could be completely comfortable with a wife making more money than me. But only in the circumstance would be if I was making enough for the two of us, without her income. Hence, I am now hitting the employment pavement rather than staying in academia.

Another concern is that a woman making that much money is going to be pretty busy. Do you have plans of a family? My 24 year old girlfriend can go through med school and wait 8 years to have a kid. I'm not really keen on waiting until 39 to have my first kid. I think it's great that women are more empowered but it's a little disconcerting at times. We're in uncharted waters.

 

It's tough when your girl is so busy with her career that you may have to count over 8 years before you can have things like a child or even a dog. However, I would rather have her live out her full potential than for her to have to drop those things so we can have a child sooner than later.

 

Fertility aint great at that age even if you want a kid.

A kid will be the biggest deal breaker for any couple wanting to climb up their career paths. It was the wife who sacrificed...

I think it's because we were raised thinking that we could have it all, but time's the biggest enemy. Choose your ambition, you could regret not having kids sooner and vice versa. That kind of thinking and regret will make any perception bad.

Sometimes the best things aren't planned. If the relationship is strong enough....

 

I don't know where I saw it the other day, whether it was cnn.com or on TV or something, but the #1 thing you can do in the U.S. to increase your wealth over your lifetime is get married. It was even ahead of a college education (#2).

The main reason is that 2 people combine most of their costs of living into one, so you are able to get more wealth over time. It doesn't hurt if the wife makes a significant income either, even if its just for a few years before kids come around.

The #1 way to lose wealth over your lifetime in the U.S. is to get divorced.

 

Yes, Oprah.

 

I think the more approrpriate question would be, "Would a woman making more money than you want to go out with you"?

 

Fortunately and unfortunately, I inevitably end up with very strong-minded ambitious women. What's a relationship without some good power struggles?

 

Manny, I know you're not into this, but poke a hole in it next time. If you know what I mean. You're all money then. Then do a little dance when she calls you in a few days. Then call me and give me my 5% commission.