Well, I never said I wanted exclusive. To me, you can't really think of exclusive until you have gone out at least 3 months unless you are spending every day with each other (but by then I guess that means "exclusive" ). What annoyed me about her was the comment "call me whenever". To me that implied she was either interested in going out again or just being nice & thought it wouldn't hurt my feelings compared to saying just no. Well, I am an adult (or at least I was last time I checked), so it isn't going to be the end of the world for me to hear a "no" or something like "you know, I just don't think any chemistry is there." Look, I understand how much it sucks to tell someone that you know is interested in you a "no thanks"; I have been guilty of doing that myself although I have been honest more times than pretending I was interested in a girl. I think a lot of guys appreciate and respect a woman more if they just quit the BS and tell them the truth. I just wish that these women would realize this. I know you ask a lot of stuff about guys here, Isabel. Well, I will say this one loud and clear: IF YOU, AS A WOMAN, ARE NOT INTERESTED IN A GUY, TELL HIM - DON'T PRETEND THAT YOU ARE AS YOU FEEL THAT WON'T HURT HIS FEELINGS AS MUCH. Sorry for the all caps, but it seems like this is something that cannot be stressed enough. I am just glad that there is another woman out there that I am talking to.
Yes, I play games. My girlfriend and I play Yahtzee together all the time. Seriously though, I agree that little head games like that are stupid. I believe that most girls who do not return phone calls, despite how well you think the date may have gone, are simply not interested. It's probably for the best if you just move on with the other gal (as you are doing) and forget about the physical therapist. Good luck and I wish you all the best!
In her defense she may have said "call me whenever" to: 1. not embarrass you 2. avoid an awkward situation and 3. protect herself. There are some freaks out there. And to make it clear I am not implying anything about Manny.
Somehow.... Manny, ask out the hotter gal and make sure the PT sees you two somehow. Then she will feel ugly and fat despite how unrealistic that is and will want you back. Then ditch her at a tractor pull.
I think there are alot of people - girls and guys - who claim to not want to play games, but then they play them anyway. Imo there are always other fish in the sea, if she makes a poor 1st impression like that and seems uninterested, you might be better off just moving on and leaving her alone.
I really don't think its a game, I think she just probably has another guy or two that shes dating and she may be more interested in them than you OR she just doesn't know what she wants. Most of the time women don't actually know what they are doing so it seems like they are playing games.
Alright, brainiacs. Learn this, and learn it well. Girls don't play games. When they say something, they typically mean it. Sometimes you may have a problem with the response, but that is your problem. Chances are, if you are wondering if it is over, it is over. Typically, we think a woman is playing games only when they are really attractive, and we wish the breakup weren't so. There is no such thing as "good guys" and "bad guys". We all hear all the time about these "girls" always going for the "bad" ones when the "good" guys get nobody. Hogwash. Women like a confident man. They don't want someone to put them on a pedestal, no matter what you may have heard. A woman will take a confident guy who "likes" her over an inconfident guy that would "worship the ground she walks on".
The "call me whenever" and the "friends" are a huge clue she doesn't want you, which is cool, as there are plenty of other woman out there...I do agree with wanting to know, but I've found its not worth it...But you'll know when you hit it off with someone with any effort whatsoever... Dating can be great but can suck because of the games...I've played games before when I was younger, but not anymore...Just want a real relationship and someone that wants the same...Good Luck, and may the force be with you...
So she blew you off on the first date? Big deal. Did ya' like her...other than for the hot bod? If so...then try again. I know lots of people who ABSOLUTELY HATED eachother on their first meeting....yet ended up as great couples! Another way of looking at it....if she's worth dating...then it's worth the risk. If she's not...then who cares what she thinks....so...no risk! A wise man once said: Good luck, man. Have fun.
here's the deal. if you want a girl to be hot over you, the first thing you should tell her when you immediately pick her up is: "Just so you know, you and I will NOT be sleeping together." Imagine all the crazy things going into her head now. First, she's shocked b/c she's probably never heard that before. Second, she'll be thinking, "What's wrong with me?". The whole night she'll try to give all the reasons why you should "want" to sleep with her. It sounds counterintuitive, but just pay attention to how different the girl acts as opposed to not saying it all. Just don't go into, "nice guy" mode after that by kissing up to her. Of course you'll have to had 2 dates to test the theory.
Yeah, but you're married. It's different. The second and third part you quoted were to be read as one. ie. I feel too many inconfident men think they're the "good" guy. No they're not. They're just shy. On the girls and games part, Let me put it this way, if you like a woman, talk to her. If she plays some catty game, don't talk to her. She'll figure out real quick that there is no game and come back, OR she was never that into you.
Probably good advice for anyone in an awkward situation or trying to get out of something - men or women. A lot of us are just non-confrontational and feel awkward about saying something so hurtful directly. Of course, then the guy wonders what you really mean and may keep wondering/ trying things until you give him a clear message. I learned this when I was 18, and I'm sorry I wasn't more direct with the guy (or even that I didn't give him more of a chance, for that matter ). Haven't been in that kind of situation in a long time, though I'd like to hope I would be more direct now. But... do guys do it too? How do you tell women you're not interested? By saying as much? Somehow I doubt it. As bad as it is, this is something that everyone does. (and, if there's any "guy code" for "I don't like you anymore, go away", what is it? those few females of us out here want to know...)
There is no one template for how all guys will act. However, suffice to say that if a guy suddenly stops asking you questions and ignores a lot of what you say, then he probably doesn't like you anymore.
How the hell can anyone give advice without substance? Other than talking about her friends, what else did you guys discuss? Perhaps french poetry, polital crap, the latest Seinfeld rerun? I think you know what to do and you just want to increase your thread count. Come on, be honest. In all seriousness, it's nice to have a backup hot chick. If she wants you, she'll call you. If she calls when you're in the middle of the next relationship, tell her. She might get pissed, but at least respect you for it. I mean who puts everything on hold for a girl that can't even returns calls? p.s. You didn't tell her that she kicks ass did you?
Ok, now I think I'm understanding you. Yes, women (and men) play games. But that doesn't mean that you're helpless - how you deal with their game-playing is what's important. The "good guy/bad guy" thing: I've always been a "good guy" and paid the price for it. I'm considerate thoughtful, caring, sensitive, friendly... ya know.. a wussy "good guy". But that's not what the chicks go for (though I am also pretty confident). The "bad guy" is insensitive, self-centered, rude, slovenly and womanizing. Chicks cream over that guy. And yes, confidence is probably the most important thing a chick wants in a date. (note: I used the word "chicks" because this may apply to girls and women)
There is a definite line between a "good" guy and a "bad" guy though the definition of each is often biased. The thing is, with "good" guys, the problem that I see is that men who realize that they are heralded as a "good" guy tend to stick to that way. I consider myself a "good" guy and I see in myself that when I talk to a girl that I am interested in that I subconsciously defer to the good guy "act." Not that I am fake, but whereas a "bad" guy would let her know he's interested right away I would just play it safe and go after the friendship first. I dunno that came out kind of jumbled.
All girls do not like bad guys. Some really like good guys. Often, the ones who go for bad guys are the same ones who are going to play games and be high-maintenance or shallow. Let those people have each other. When they're gone, the rest of us will be left. For you "nice guys", just make sure the women you go after are worthy of it. This may involve looking deeper than just the superficial things you notice at first. Of course, if you can stand it. Just make sure you know what your priorities are. I detect a lot of bitterness among some of you...
