Sounds like your mother and father fought a lot and created the illusion that marriage is a battle field. Marriage is tough, but it helps to view your spouse as an ally rather than an adversary. We find plenty of things to argue about besides politics and religion.
don't blame you for any of that...just hope you wouldn't cut off relationships because of what they think about God or the lack thereof.
If I did that, I would be the biggest hypocrite in the world, instead of only the 2nd biggest. Also you may get a kick out of this... my wife asked the 10 year old the other day if he followed Christ and he said "What? Like on twitter?"
Only the Sith deal in absolutes. But, SRSLY, you could be with a Christian or Catholic or a God-loving peep that doesn't push you to become one or that lets you be yourself without letting that aspect of her (or HIS) life rule over yours. It doesn't have to be all-ruling in your household, man.
If I started out Muslim, that'd probably be about the same; but to switch now would probably make her feel a bit jilted. I mostly don't think about it because it's just lifestyle stuff -- where you'll spend your Sunday and whatnot. The church folks are good people, make good friends and so on. And I like talking theology. It only really gets hard when her beliefs demand something exceptional, when talking about and dealing with death, and when teaching children -- which I guess is a lot. Also, it sounds like JD88's girl is a slightly different species, leaning a lot more on the legalisms of moral behavior than my wife does -- she wouldn't get on my about cussing or drinking, mostly because there's no theological reason to think a non-Christian can or should adopt the moral attitudes of a Christian. But, JD88 girl's guilt about her own immoral behavior related to the relationship can be a problem too -- ignoring Paul's advice on being unequally yoked, and engaging in extramarital sex being most likely. I wouldn't at all say I make most of the compromises, but I'm not sure that I could explain it if you don't see it. Besides that, I don't think I've done anything that goes against my core beliefs. Atheism isn't a core belief of mine, and I have never even denied it anyway. If one of us has sacrificed in this regard, it's my wife more than me.
Some of you guys say you go to church to keep your religious partner happy. My gf also wants me to go to church with her and I've gone with her 4 times in the past 6 months but she says that isn't enough. She said she ideally wants me to go once per week. I want to make her happy but to me, that is way too much a time commitment. How often do you guys think is a reasonable amount to go to church to keep your partner happy?
To paraphrase the late Groucho Marx, I wouldn't belong to a religion that would have me as a member. Seriously, it seems to depend on the people, and how much they want each other. I know couples with far different religious backgrounds (or the lack of one) who get along famously. Sort of like some couples, and I know a few, where the two own different political views, but they simply don't let it interfere. Some love and goodwill can go a long way.
There's no clear number or frequency. It's whatever keeps her happy, man, if you truly want her. Why you youngsters ask these kinds of questions, I'll never know.
i go to church pretty much every sunday with my parents. yeah they thought i was an atheist for a couple weeks, during which my dad said my mother "cried herself to sleep every night" and barely ate. i know what it's like to pretend, pretend, pretend. it's draining and i'll undoubtedly need lots of therapy eventually, but i love my parents too much (and understand their POV too well) to voice my true beliefs in front of them. strangely enough i think i'd rather date a practicing religious person over a nonpracticing one...although i'm almost exclusively attracted to ardent atheists. the wafflers (agnostics, and people who "believe" but don't "practice") are the ones i just can't with.
Seriously. This is off topic, but I've been to a few weddings lately and to hear the way people describe marriage...yikes. I'm thankful that is not the type of marriage I have. Marriage has things that are tough obviously but it shouldn't be the getting along with each other part that is the problem. The way some people describe their marriages is just baffling to me. It's as if they see each other as adversaries or a person to manipulate to their advantage. Why would you voluntarily go into a relationship that you think so little of?
1-1.5 hours. I work 70-80 hours a week so I don't have much free time to add more time commitments to my schedule. I don't really find the services that interesting. Plus, it weirds me out when her friends get all giddy if I attend service because they think their prayers to God are being answered. (Yes they pray that I will find Jesus).
I'd advise you to move on from that relationship personally. If that demand on your time is a problem now, where do you see it going in the future? Is her interest in you faking it by going to church going to go away? It bothers you now. Things that bother you now only grow with time. They go from annoyances to resentments.
Zero. If you're thinking of me, I don't go to church to make my wife happy, that's not really the deal. I know Christianity is very important to my wife, so I try to support her in her faith. I know that if I don't go, she'll have a harder time being consistent, and will have a harder time connecting with the church community. And, if she goes without me, there will be a whole big part of her life that I'm not a part of and many friends of hers that I don't know. Plus, it's no skin off my nose and I actually get some ancillary benefit (a sermon that reminds me of lectures from my college days, child care, friends, community, etc). If you go in body, but you're not really in it, you're not helping anybody. You're wasting your own time and not supporting your girlfriend either. She might be pleased you chose to come and may be secretly fantasizing about your conversion, but she doesn't really get the benefit of you being part of the church community with her. I'd advise to not be lukewarm about it -- either go regularly or not at all. It might make her unhappy if you don't go, but she'd be better off knowing you just don't want to be a part of it.
I don't want to derail the thread, but I just wanted to reply to say that my parents did not fight a lot. They get along very well. They're not much for public displays of affection and that has definitely rubbed off on me, but I don't ever remember them going at each other angrily. They're both mild-mannered. I just like the balance with my current girlfriend more. We disagree on religion, partially agree on politics, and agree very much on lifestyle. With my ex, it was like dating a Mexican female version of myself. It just came to bother me over time because deep down I probably hate myself or something like that. But don't we all???
Depends on how young you are, anyone 18-26 could hate themselves because they have no idea who they truly are. Same could be said for all age groups I suppose, but more prevalent in that demographic.
