You need to stop viewing this as some battle for superiority. If you're not ready to view this girl as an equal with needs outside of her possible relationship with you (I.e. - lunch with a family member), then you have no business forming any kind of relationship with her at all. Think less, be more.
I don't think "wow okay" is the best choice of words, but responding with "okay or k" would have been fine, IMHO...I don't agree with saying nothing at all...to me that means you're ignoring the person and could be considered that you're pissed, even when you're not...I see nothing wrong with acknowledging you got the text...but that's just me... bottom line, she flaked, isn't that into him and he should just move on...why all the game playing...what happened to old fashioned courtship...
I agree with the "wow okay" comes across very dicky. I just understand why you wouldnt say something like. "i'm sorry to hear that. Was looking forward to it"...that just seems like common since and courtesy. So to prevent being "walked over" you have to be a jerk first? no, that's not the alternative. It's not all or not. So you had plans and they were canceled last minute. Things happen. And from the way you described your interations with her, i'm not surprised she canceled. WHy would someone want to go to a lunch with someone who has been blowing you off and doesnt seem interested? (because that's the vibe youre putting off)
Wow...okay ;-) Seriously, 00rocketgirl is dead on with that breakdown. Walk all over you? Sorry buddy, but that assumption is you reading too much into her canceling on you. You showing her a sign of weakness as a man by getting butt hurt is what may lead her to walking all over you. Let it be what it is and move forward. Ask her out another time. If she is non-committal, then you have your answer and the only thing lost is a little time and perhaps a dent in your pride. You'll live to date another day. Look, I'm 35 so I'm not far off from you in age. I just met a girl a month ago that is absolutely amazing. She's smart, funny, sexy, spiritual, has her priorities in order....just the all around package that I look for in a woman. However she is still in love with her ex and isn't looking to date anyone. We've been open and honest and that is all you can ask for. I have a good friend now that I enjoy hanging out with. If anything ever comes of it, it's not for me to worry about because all that causes is discontent in my life. I sure as hell don't want that. Why do you seem bent on being in discontent with yourself by dreaming up scenarios of what she could really mean. Take it for what it is and move forward.
You've made this insanely complicated and already ruined any chance of showing her you are a confident, capable partner. Good job. If a woman has plans with someone else, it is probably not because she doesn't like you. She blows you off, you tell her to have a good time and you'll see her later. You've got **** to do, right? You have a life, right? There should be no insecurity on your part, if you want to be with her, make it known and put the ball in her court... don't nag at her with passive-aggressive bull****... that is the quickest and easiest way to tell a woman "I'm a wiener with self-esteem issues, so if you don't validate me frequently during the course of our relationship, I'm going to remain an emotionally unstable man with little to offer". If you continue to give off that signal you better get used to your left hand and a bottle of Jergens, because any interest she and most any other woman had in you will quickly evaporate. What is more important? Confidence of course. You believe in yourself, then you should be spending less time thinking about what she's up to. There are thousands of women out there, what makes her so special? What does she need to do to get with you? Don't conform your standards. Too many times a fatal flaw in male thinking is that they need to be the one doing all the pursuing and shifting their perspective.
"wow. Okay" = Not good "oh ok, that's fine" = good answer The difference between this and letting her "walk all over you" is how many times it happens and how it happens. As of now this is what, the first date? Like i said before, give her the benefit of the doubt to start off. Assume she's nomally not like this and it's an isolated case, so just let it go, if you're really interested in her. If you're not, then move on. Now if she keeps doing it over and over, then you do need to bring it up and ask her straight out if she'd rather not pursue this or if it's just a busy time in her life. Also, if she's consistently doing it an hour, two hours before, then that's also a reason for you to ask her about it, so again, either move on at that point or ask for an explanation without being confrontational. But for the first date, even two dates, you shouldnt get bent out of shape for it. **** happens, this could possibly be the only time she cancels on you from this point forward, why screw it all up because you're playing a game?
Should've called her and just played this for her: <object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/WWaLxFIVX1s&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/WWaLxFIVX1s&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
i agree the "wow okay" was a bad move. you shouldve not replied or said smthg like "have a good time". u know. the LusuaL. but theres nothing u can do about that now. take her out. show her a good time and then forget her. if shes interested then she will contact you.
If she's playing as many games as the OP, the last-minute cancelation was likely a calculated revenge for all the delays he's been concocting. In which case, this relationship is off to a very bad start. Of course, if she's not playing these games, then it is an even worse start.
As an old guy, it won't do me much good, but I recommend you younger guys listen and learn from the free advice provided by rocketgirl and finalsbound in this thread. Very insightful peek into the mystery that is the mind of a female. For the OP, at your age, it's too late.
That's funny I knew someone like that before. Met and things seem to be going great, texting long messages back and forth than agree on a time to meet and she flakes. Happened at least 3 times until it got to the point where I would just agree to meet her say at 8pm but not actually plan to be there. Sure enough, 8pm would pass, no call, no nothing from her and I would just carry on with whatever plans I had anyways. Interesting enough she would still text and want to get together and the same thing would happen. 1 red flag here is the texting, this girl all she did was text me, if I called, she did not pick up. Texting is ok but there's gotta be some actual conversation here and there. To be honest, I would not bother even making an effort to meet her. If she's really cute and you just really want to nail that, than go ahead and give her one more chance and if she flakes again, don't plan to meet her anymore but at the same time dont' show any sort of anger or resentment, just act indifferent to it all. The "wow, ok" text I can understand why you did that and you probably didn't think too much before sending that and just did it by reaction. It obvioiusly shows her that you cared though.
