D.C., the GREATEST

MR. MEOWGI · Dec 1, 2006

Katherine Helmond

Birthplace: Galveston, TX

twhy77 · Dec 1, 2006

Will somebody just start a damn POOP thread!

MR. MEOWGI · Dec 1, 2006

twhy77 said:

Will somebody just start a damn POOP thread!
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http://bbs.clutchfans.net/showthread.php?t=121125

MadMax · Dec 1, 2006

Rocketman95 said:

First friend of Carr: The market...the market's up eighty points.

Second friend of Carr: I'll never figure out this market. One day she's up. [pause] The next day she's up...

First friend of Carr: Hey, do you fellas know a guy by the name of David Carr?

Second: Yeah, I know David Carr. He's a 10 foot-tall beast-man, who showers in vodka, and feeds his baby shrimp scampi.

Third: Best damn trader on the floor.

Second: He orchestrated the merger between UNICEF and Smith and Wesson.

Third: Carr went public with his own buttocks and made 7 million.

First: To David Carr.

Together: David Carr!

First: Did I ever tell you about the time Carr and I went hunting?

Second: I masturbate to the Teletubbies.

First: Anyway, Carr decides he's going to hunt down all four of the 'Banana Splits.' He stalks and kills every one of them with a machete. They all begged for their lives except Flegal.

Third: We once had a bachelor party for David Carr. He ate the entire cake, before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Second: Carr once hosted the Grammy's and gave every award to Corey Hart.

First: He has a toenail on the end of his penis.

Third: Carr got his wife pregnant and she gave birth to a delicious 16 oz. steak.

Second: The afterbirth was sautéed mushrooms.

First: Carr's family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong.

Third: Carr is ranked 8th in the AP College Football poll.

Second: To David Carr.

Together: David Carr!

Second: Did I ever tell you about the time Carr and I were in a production of "The King and I?"

First: Every morning I crap the bed.

Second: Anyway, on opening night, Carr chloroforms the entire cast, and slowly eats them in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good reviews.
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i love this. i don't know where you got it, but i love it!!!

swilkins · Dec 1, 2006

MadMax said:

i love this. i don't know where you got it, but i love it!!!
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I think it's from the Bill Brasky skit on SNL.

Rocketman95 · Dec 1, 2006

swilkins said:

I think it's from the Bill Brasky skit on SNL.
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BRASKY!!!!

Buck Turgidson · Dec 1, 2006

Third: Did you know David Carr is the godfather of my son?

Fourth: David Carr?

First: He's a big fella!

Second: Oh yeah, he's a big guy! Goes about 6'7", 385.

Third: Well, anyway.. he shows up at the church in his golf pants, caked in mud. Well, ol' David Carr pushes the priest aside and says, "I'll baptize that piece of calamari!" Then he pours Scotch all over my baby son and says, "There! You're baptized!"

Fourth: And your son is blind to this day!

Together: David Carr!!!

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