Backdoor Bandits 2: Hindsight is 20"/20" (XXX) (Fantasy/Postmodern Angst/XXX) Starring Ron Jeremy and Asia Carerra Also Featuring Peter North, Jenna Jameson, and Kobe Tai Directed by Buck Naked Screenplay by Buck Naked Projected Budget Range: $20-29 Million Planned Release Date: April Projected Box Office Receipts: $8.07 million (Opening Weekend) $40.46 million (Total Domestic Gross) Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 94% Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 85% Critic Most Likely to Praise: Bill Clinton Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Hugh Hefner, Larry Flint
I just want to point out that fadeaway's porno has a 70% better chance of winning at least one Oscar than the next best movie in this thread.
Office Space II: Revenge of Lumbergh (PG-13) (Caper Comedy/Office Politics/Revenge Fantasy) Starring Mike Myers and Jennifer Aniston Also Featuring David Chappelle, Snoop Dogg, Cameron Diaz, and Kirsten Dunst Directed by Peter Jackson Screenplay by Philippa Boyens Projected Budget Range: $30-39 Million Planned Release Date: March Projected Box Office Receipts: $19.52 million (Opening Weekend) $115.34 million (Total Domestic Gross) Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 15% Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None Critic Most Likely to Praise: Peter Travers, Rolling Stone Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Matthew Abrams, Chucklehound.com
MSG - Salt's Evil Twin (PG-13) (Historical Epic/Lingering Illness/Paranoia/Revenge Fantasy) Starring Elijah Wood and Renée Zellweger Also Featuring Willem Dafoe, Samuel L. Jackson, Kathy Bates, and Liv Tyler Directed by Robert Rodriguez Screenplay by J.R.R. Tolkien Projected Budget Range: $140-149 Million Planned Release Date: July Projected Box Office Receipts: $17.18 million (Opening Weekend) $125.66 million (Total Domestic Gross) Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 14% Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 1% Critic Most Likely to Praise: Stephen Holden, New York Times Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Matthew Abrams, Chucklehound.com
Grumpy Old Men: To The Extreme (R) (Comedy/Romance) Starring Anthony Hopkins and Michelle Pfeiffer Also Featuring Ian McKellen, James Caan, Eliza Dushku, and Claire Forlani Directed by M. Night Shyamalan Screenplay by Randall Wallace Projected Budget Range: $30-39 Million Planned Release Date: March Projected Box Office Receipts: $16.09 million (Opening Weekend) $69.18 million (Total Domestic Gross) Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 2% Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None Critic Most Likely to Praise: The Self-Made Critic, The Brunching Shuttlecocks Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Chris Gore, Film Threat
All right, Nomar. You're on... Peter Jackson's Dune (PG-13) (Fantasy/Sci-Fi/Action) Starring Stephen Dorff and Kate Beckinsale Also Featuring Liam Neeson, Jason Statham, Jennifer Garner, and Natalie Portman Directed by Peter Jackson Screenplay by Philippa Boyens and Peter Jackson Projected Budget Range: $100-109 Million Planned Release Date: July Projected Box Office Receipts: $20.74 million (Opening Weekend) $124.38 million (Total Domestic Gross) Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 16% Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None Critic Most Likely to Praise: Ron Wells, Film Threat Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Rita Kempley, Washington Post Ha ha! My Dune movie is better than yours. Must be the "Peter Jackson X-Factor"... My cast: Stephen Dorf as Paul Atreides, Kate Beckinsale as Jessica (Diane Lane would be another good choice), Liam Neeson as Leto Atreides, Jennifer Garner as Chani, Natalie Portman as Irulan (better fit, IMO), Clive Owen as Stilgar, Guy Pearce as Duncan Idaho, Jason Statham as Gurney Halleck, Ben Kingsley as Emperor Shaddam IV, Timothy Dalton as Hawat Thufir, Judi Dench as Reverend Mother Gaius Helen, Sting as Feyd-Rautha ( ), Ian McNeice as Baron Harkonnen (did a good job for the Sci-Fi Channel movies), Brad Dourif as Poter de Vries (the dude who played Wormtongue in TTT), and Sam Neil as Dr. Wellington Yueh. I've out-dorked you, dude. I win.
Clutch BBS: The Untold Story A Keenen Ivory Wayans Project (R) (Chase/Lingering Illness/Spy/Comedy) Starring Billy Bob Thornton and Marisa Tomei Also Featuring Samuel L. Jackson, Jimmy Smits, Julia Roberts, and Salma Hayek Directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans Screenplay by M. Night Shyamalan and J.R.R. Tolkien Projected Budget Range: $110-119 Million Planned Release Date: September Projected Box Office Receipts: $16.48 million (Opening Weekend) $77.51 million (Total Domestic Gross) Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 6% Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 1% Critic Most Likely to Praise: Michael O'Sullivan, Washington Post Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Chris Gore, Film Threat
Uprising (R) (Adventure/Action/Sci-Fi) Starring Harrison Ford and Halle Berry Also Featuring Samuel L. Jackson, Cate Blanchett, and Lucy Liu Directed by Peter Jackson Screenplay by Peter Jackson and J.R.R. Tolkien Projected Budget Range: $30-39 Million Planned Release Date: December Projected Box Office Receipts: $15.00 million (Opening Weekend) $109.27 million (Total Domestic Gross) Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 16% Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 1% Critic Most Likely to Praise: Rene Rodriguez, Miami Herald Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Matthew Abrams, Chucklehound.com hehehe...this is kind of interesting...i have a good Total Domestic Gross.
Anal Smoothies 3 : Chamber of The Lords of Asian Dune (R) (Adventure/Fantasy) Starring Daniel Radcliffe and Cameron Diaz Also Featuring Samuel L. Jackson, John Rhys-Davies, Maggie Smith, Liv Tyler, and introducing Nomar as "Frodo Potter" Directed by Steven Spielberg Screenplay by J.K. Rowling and Nomar Projected Budget Range: $60-69 Million Planned Release Date: October Projected Box Office Receipts: $19.16 million (Opening Weekend) $114.24 million (Total Domestic Gross) Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 7% Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 2% Critic Most Likely to Praise: Jay Carr, Boston Globe Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Rita Kempley, Washington Post
The Matrix : r****ded (R) (Adventure/Fantasy/Comedy) Starring Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter Also Featuring Laurence Fishburne, Carrie Anne-Moss, George Carlin Directed by The Wachowski Brothers and Steven Herek Screenplay by The Wachowski Brothers Projected Budget Range: $130-139 Million Planned Release Date: November Projected Box Office Receipts: $18.63 million (Opening Weekend) $121.74 million (Total Domestic Gross) Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 5% Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None Critic Most Likely to Praise: John Anderson, Newsday Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Michael O'Sullivan, Washington Post Dude : Where's my penis? (R) (Adventure/Caper Comedy/Historical Epic/True Story) Starring Devestata and Ashton Kutcher Also Featuring Jerry Lewis and Kathy Bates Directed by Ron Howard Screenplay by moestavern19 and NYKRule Projected Budget Range: $50-59 Million Planned Release Date: December Projected Box Office Receipts: $14.52 million (Opening Weekend) $113.08 million (Total Domestic Gross) Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 14% Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 8% Critic Most Likely to Praise: Jack Garner, Rochester Democrat and Chronicle Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Rita Kempley, Washington Post
Smack Daddy Dope Dealers (R) (Buddy Cop/Caper Comedy) Starring Will Smith and Rachel Weisz Also Featuring Samuel L. Jackson and Katie Holmes Directed by Peter Jackson Screenplay by Adam Sandler Projected Budget Range: $120-129 Million Planned Release Date: July Projected Box Office Receipts: $20.14 million (Opening Weekend) $124.35 million (Total Domestic Gross) Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 9% Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None Critic Most Likely to Praise: Michael O'Sullivan, Washington Post Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Rita Kempley, Washington Post
Shades of Grey (PG-13) (Historical Epic) Starring Denzel Washington and Renée Zellweger Also Featuring Samuel L. Jackson, Ian McKellen, Julia Roberts, and Maggie Smith Directed by Ron Howard Screenplay by Steven Zaillian Projected Budget Range: $80-89 Million Planned Release Date: May Projected Box Office Receipts: $19.97 million (Opening Weekend) $118.86 million (Total Domestic Gross) Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 21% Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 10% Critic Most Likely to Praise: Jay Carr, Boston Globe Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Chris Gore, Film Threat
Bingo, the Snail that won the World Series (PG) (Talking Animal) Starring Harrison Ford and Lucy Liu Also Featuring Samuel L. Jackson, Cameron Diaz, and Eliza Dushku Directed by M. Night Shyamalan Screenplay by M. Night Shyamalan and J.R.R. Tolkien Projected Budget Range: $140-149 Million Planned Release Date: December Projected Box Office Receipts: $19.02 million (Opening Weekend) $115.02 million (Total Domestic Gross) Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 5% Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None Critic Most Likely to Praise: Jack Garner, Rochester Democrat and Chronicle Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Chris Gore, Film Threat I hired JRR Tolkien so I'd get the "Nomar" demographic
I Can't Find Ya Sucka! (R) (Caper Comedy) Starring David Chappelle and Rosario Dawson Also Featuring Samuel L. Jackson, Anthony Anderson, and Pam Grier Directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans Screenplay by Ice Cube Projected Budget Range: $20-29 Million Planned Release Date: February Projected Box Office Receipts: $13.18 million (Opening Weekend) $56.65 million (Total Domestic Gross) Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: Slim to None Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None Critic Most Likely to Praise: Michael O'Sullivan, Washington Post Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Chris Gore, Film Threat
