Crazy/interesting/fun-Business ideas you'll never do so might as well tell clutchfans

Any crazy business idea you care to share?

okay so I like to come up with stupid business ideas with my friends and 99% of them are total **** but still it's fun to come up with funny or stupid or ..crazy stuff.

the stupider or crazier the better and since there are some that I will pretty much never do, I thought at least why not share them with clutchfans?

Maybe something needed.. but you just know you are too lazy, and will never f-ing do it?. so then at least throw us a bone, and tell us about it here so you can help improve the world. even if it's a total garbage idea share it here...

Okay so I'll start-
Stupid:
I want to start a business that sells an incense that smells like weed. We can call it 'pot-pourri' people always say they 'like the smell of weed' so why not make like a scent for that? I mean when the cops pull you over you can tell them you were just spraying 'pot -pourri' because you like the smell of it.

cons: it smells like pot. Pot is still pretty much illegal. Usually when people are selling incense they are using it to get RID of pot smell ..not create it.

Stupider:
I was watching this show called american greed. They had this guy that worked at a funeral home that was arrested for selling body parts of the dead people he embalmed. He would do it without the consent of the family. Anyway so apparently they were saying that body parts go for top dollar. Well I was thinking why not capitalize on this piece of death?

I figure we get a pool going and everyone sign up. Each member agree that when they die they will contribute their body parts money to the pool. So once you have a good set up people sign up then will get an email periodically saying something like:
" Agnes Hendersons right thigh was sold for $XXX and along with a list of all the people in the pool who died and a check for the proceeds of what their body pieces sold for. So it's like doing something positive with the cash due to your death. If you could get a whole bunch of people signed up knowing that they 'will be dead anyway' then it's kind of this weird comfort to know that if you die you are helping other people same way you have been helped with your monthly residual death checks from the death body parts pool.

cons:
well besides being kind of weird I am sure people can get out of it with secret wills.. even though they had collected while others died. There would have to be some kind of pro rate or something based on age when the younger you are the less residual check you get.. there are all kinds of religious implications.. and ultimately the body parts business and ponzi scheme of death has some kind of inherent flaw in it, that I haven't thought all the way through.

 

edit ..wait.. see I thought about it more and the flaw is that the person could 'change their mind' after collecting for years..

 

Everything except be funny. Come on Jon let us in to the club. what do we need to do?

Well that's one of the hallmarks of a ponzi scheme. You need to get in at beginning. So the key on the death pool is to enter it early. Also if we were pooling resources we might get to sell the parts at a wholesale rate and get more back to increase revenue to offset the flood of cheap body parts. They were saying parts selling for big bug bucks. I can't remmeber the number but I want to say on a good body you can get over 50K in parts. Can someone verify this. I am not a body parts selling expert but I did stay at a holiday inn last night.

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well I must admit I am not on the up and up of the incense business. I did say these ideas were possibly stupid.. Did I mention that the incense could also be like spray air freshener? Also there could be cologne and maybe even a branding past that. Get snoop dog and willie nelson to start endorsing it for the 'cool' facor. yes I know it's dumb but that was kinda of the reason why I won't do it. In fact no.. I 'm not doing it so I might as well tell clutchfans.

Finally we are getting somewhere. Thanks Texx (heck you ain't so bad )

okay so tell me more about the nose muff? Is it targeted for the lesbian community? Is it something I could wear out to alerts the masses of my intentions?

This is awesome weird and great! I love it. rep.

This idea would go over well with the gay community too. I can just see it. Gay dudes frolicking on furry couches chomping on lucky charms in their sweat socks all cuddled up. 'Friends' and 'golden girls' would be playing the background and there would always be an unlimited supply of fruity pebbles.

As for the cook for yourself thing, I went to a place in waikiki where they had fire pits and gave you a slab of meat. You have to cook it yourself. .

Yeah I like it. In fact most of my ideas center around prostitution and the various revenue streams associated et al.

I was watching this porno called 'lucky b*stard' basically this guy gets to bang like 10 girls and he gets head from like 8 at once.. So he's a lucky b*stard.

So got to thinking why not have a sex tour business (duh yes I know they exist but not in the format I propose) where the person gets to be a 'lucky b*stard' We could call it 'Lucky b*stard tours' Its all centered around the premise of you being a lucky b*stard, and getting to bang copious amounts of women.

Picture this: You are whisked away to an exotic island in brazil where all the workers are female. You spend a 24-48 hour period in the company of 10-15 women. The idea is you get to be a lucky b*stard and basically try and hit as much skin as you can in 48 hours.

Optional tour pieces would include viagra, other drugs, side trips to local area, immgration and mail order bride services for the women there etc. The place could be designed by special construction engineers where even though the resort could handle say 10 or 20 men visiting at one time ..the place would be built kind of like a fun house with mirrors and specially designed - so that you NEVER see another man. So it's as much the fantasy that you sort of have this island to yourself of women ..and you go through the island with your guide.. sort of room to room exploring the island through sex. Think jurassic park in a car zoo type format, but in this case you are going from place to place banging it out over and over.

Btw my role is 'quality control manager'

cons:
well I don't know any hoes. Elhitman Boats and hoes might be needed for this one, or we can bring in the big guns like DD. Other factors like it being oppressive to women or in poor taste might come up. Also the fact I am married might put a damper on my ability to participate the way I know I want to... oh yeah and theres STDs. Reminds me of the old joke 'Normally I wear a rubber but I figured ..hey .. when am I ever going to be in haiti again?'

 

haha sounds like smoothie king with techno music