RM, This is great news......good luck. I have to say though, do not be clingy.....that would be the worst thing you could do right now. Give her space, tell her you care, and get on with your life. The old saying "if you love something set it free, it will come back to you" is VERY true. Give her some time.....even more than she says she needs..... Good luck ! DD
Shes happy and excited that you aren't around her? And you think thats a good thing? If this were my wife, i'd get hooked up with a keystroke logger and check cell phone logs and find out whats really going on.
She's happy and excited because it's showing her that, even though this time is really hard for me, I'm doing it because it's what she needs to help the relationship. It's a good thing because she mentioned that by doing this, we're on the path to having a healthy relationship since she said mentioned us being together next week. If I felt the need to check-up on my wife like that, then I would get out now. If you can't trust your wife, you're never going to have a successful relationship. Of course, you posted all this to try to rile me up (as you have other times in the past), so off to the ignore list with you.
My wife digs her "alone time". She has Mondays off and will get pissed if I stay home from work those days. I jokingly threaten her that I will call in sick on Mondays just to mess with her. She just gives me a look like "yeah right, you're out of here". There is nothing wrong with all of that.
This and your other post show that you aren't married or haven't been for very long. If you are, then I feel sorry for your wife.
don't know either of you but i do hope it works out for you. i have to say i'm a bit skeptical. she may not seem to be asking that much, but she did sorta kick you out of the house so she can decide if that's what she wants or not. sorry if this is harsh, just being frank.
She didn't kick me out. She offered to go stay with her parents or friends, which she's doing three nights a week. Since this is only for two weeks, then it's no big deal. I don't think I'm explaining why she wants this time apart very well. It's not to decide whether she wants a divorce or not, despite what I posted yesterday when I thought that it could be the case. The closest she's ever been to mentioning divorce is that it won't last if certain things won't change. She's not deciding at this time whether or not she wants a divorce. She's been surrounded by this since we decided to go to counseling and just wants some time to really digest what we've learned about the relationship and in counseling. It's also an opportunity to see if she should trust me when I make promises again. I am the king of broken promises which is why we're even in this situation to begin with. By promising to give me her this time and actually following through it shows that I'm willing to do what is necessary from my end to help the relationship become a healthier one. I also don't want people to think that I'm shouldering all the blame myself. I'm not. I'm just not posting much of what she's contributed to the relationship being where it is because I'm not really looking for advice within the relationhip itself, rather than being able to vent and receive support.
Then again, you also need to protect yourself. When I was going through this eons ago, mine did the same thing. She said she just needed space, and that everything would work out. So I let her have her space. And I also trusted her immensely. It was one of the reasons I married her. Then one day one of our friends tells me to look at her posts on ivillage. I was shocked. She was putting venomous lies about me on there. Now granted, these were online people that none of us knew, but it gave me a good idea of what I wasn't hearing. (and, sorry to say, that mutual friends will typically not say anything about venomous comments. Most don't want to get involved.) Anyway, I let her know that I saw her posts on ivillage. She cried and apologized and said it was her way of letting off steam. She exaggerated for effect, according to her. I pretty much let it go. Next thing I know, (as in 3 months later) she's wanting a divorce immediately. And I find out she's marrying another guy. I still have no idea how long they were seeing each other. I KNOW this is just one example of a separation, and it isn't yours at all, but I also feel that blind trust in these situations might not be the answer, either. Unfortunately, there are no right or wrong answers. As most have said, just figure out what makes you happy, in the meantime. But I've been 0 for three in the trial separation scenario.
well, like i said, i don't know you guys nor do i know the whole situation. however, i just can't imagine you being a bigger SOB than me, and i mean that as a compliment, and i can't imagine my wife asking for or needing 'space'. i guess she'd rather just chew my ass out
If I didn't know some people on here whose opinions about me I care about, I'd share. Basically, I've been one selfish SOB for the majority of our relationship. She probably made a mistake going through with the marriage without bringing it up, but some of the things I've done have been downright terrible.
You think there are marriages out there that never have any problems or disagreements?? Make me laugh. I hope you don't honestly believe that because you will never find it.
True, but if someone asked me what the hardest thing I have had to do in my life was, the last thing I would think or say is "make my marriage work". But I am probably just lucky there for once, nothing else seems to come that easy. If it was like my job I would be divorced 10 times.
RM95 Having recently been through a divorce, I hope all works out for you. The good news is that you went through counseling early. In my situation, by the time we got counseling, there wasn't anything left to salvage. Sounds like you are on the right track.
RM95: Hope things work out...Sounds like they are and I pray that everything goes your way... I'm a realist and agree with FFB...I'm divorced and it wasn't pretty...I've also heard the space thing, but again, my situation was not yours, and every situation is different...so I wish you the best... Just keep doing what your doing and I hope you get back together, but in case you don't, be sure to protect yourself...
A similar thing happened to me and blind trust is what got me. Which is why I suggessted the above (and then got placed on ignore?). I am 30 years old and yes I have been married for those of you who think i'm just spouting off comments to get under RM95s skin. Usually, alsmost always, when someone wants their "space" its because someone else has come into their life and they need to figure out which one they want to choose. I agree with what all of FFB said. I'll stop now to spare anyone elses ignore lists.
