i agree, working out does wonders to your mental and emotional health. exercise gives you endorphins endorphines make you happy happy people dont just go around killing their husbands
I dunno, seems like she is trying to drift away and you are trying to keep her from doing that. Establishes the wrong dynamic. You're the male, so show her that while you want to be with her, you don't need her. There are a million other women out there. That's just my take, anybody else think this too? But regardless of "advice", good luck to you and I hope everything works out the way you want it to. I hope we can grab a beer or something but I know you have alot on your plate these days. Oh, and unlike my advice above, the following advice I know to be 100% correct no matter what. It's very important for you to stay positive and be happy, regardless of the situation. People want to be around happy people. You demonstrate value by having a happy, good life that others want to be a part of. All the best.
Sorry to hear about your marital problems, Rocketman. You don't know me from Adam, but I have enjoyed your posts around for a long time. I think you have the right attitude. Just welcome this seperation as a chance to end the deadlock of this phase of your life. You have given her what she is asking for and by showing good faith, the onus is now on you both to make a decision and get on with it. Anyway, there is no harm in giving yourself the best chance you can to save your marriage. All of that "you're the male" talk is spoken like a person who has never found the one, or is willing to fight for it. If you gave it your best shot and she really does want out, then at least you won't have any regrets later on. Best of luck.
man... i think i remember you mentioning in a thread/post a long while ago that you were tying the knot. i hope that everything works out for the best... whether that be staying together or breaking up. i only met you and rmtex for three seconds or so at the yao ming movie, but i'm usually a good judge of character. good luck to the both of you.
Bluntly, she's pulling away and trying to end it. She is just too scared/too guilty to be honest about it. She doesn't want to hurt you, knows she already has, and is looking for a way to come out of this clean. Honestly, prep for the worst, because it is not often that couples come back from this precipice and things work out long-term. Still, it's your life. You want her to be part of it. So fight for it. At the end of the day you have to live with yourself, with or without her. Don't live it regretting what you didn't do. Don't change who you are in some attempt to prove yourself to her and win her back. Lay it all out there. If she wants and appreciates you, she'll come to her senses. If she doesn't, well... honestly man, better you know that now and not a few years down when you have kids, a house... It's not what you want to hear, but my sense is you're a pretty rational guy. Don't lose who you are in all of this. You ARE fighting for her, is she fighting for you?
I gotta ask... did her "best friend" clue you in on anything? Was that akward or what? Does nobody else know about the transition you are in? I remember these times; for me it was back in 1989-90. The uncertainty of things is brutal. At least you don't have children to feel guilty about and responsible for. I just hope you both come out of this thing happy.
my advice is to definitely keep broadcasting your business on a public basketball fan forum and asking the members for advice on very serious, private matters.
You think that this is a good way to introduce yourself to this board? You obviously have no idea what this board is about. RM95 I hope eveything turns out good for you.
Good job on the counseling RM95. You're taking care of business. That is a GOOD thing. My offer still stands...let me know if you want to hang this weekend for some sports & libations, or if you want to swing by the party palace. I'm wide open, so far. Hang in there bro!
RM95, I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. I'll keep praying for you and your wife. I have come to the conclusion (and this is going to sound like an obvious "duh") but making a marriage work is the single, hardest thing for any person to have to go through.
Good luck Rm95, I hope you guys can work it out, but the seperation thing sounds nasty. Hopefully you guys can pull through, give her some space......because right now, she has all the power, and that is not good in any relationship. DD
RM95, You know I'm going through something somewhat similar. Seriously hit me up and lets go up to BW3's one night soon. Keep your head up bro.
How about I let my wife move in with yours for a while... then your wife will come running back to you. Sounds like a plan.
Her best friend definitely knows what's going on and is rooting for us to make it work. The big thing she wanted to tell me was I need to be sure to give my wife the space she wants to let her clear her head. And it turns out, that is exactly what she wants. I was supposed to go by the apartment to drop something off for her last night, but decided I'd do it this morning and headed out to Katy for the night. We had spoken earlier that day about me staying at the apartment since she was working late and we have two bedrooms. That way I'd get my alone time and a bed to sleep in. From the conversation, I gathered that she didn't want me to do that, but when she got home from work and didn't see me there, she called and texted me to see where I was since she thought I was staying there. So, I called her back and let her know that I was staying out at Katy and that I would drop off her things this morning. That's when she told me how happy she was that I was giving her the space. She said she expected me to call her or stop by, but by not doing that, it really showed that cared about our relationship and that I understand why she needs this time to clear her head and think about a lot of the things that we've discussed in counseling with regards to both of our behavior patterns within the relationship. In a funny way, me not calling or e-mailing her was me doing the same thing. When she told me that the next week and a half of this space will really help things after that, I was sold. I slept soundly on a very comfortable bed, woke up, saw her when I dropped off what she needed, and gave her a big hug while she told me again how excited and happy she was about me giving her the space. Now, it's just 10 measly days until we start the rest of our relationship. Thanks guys. The support here really helps. And Harrisment, I'll hit you up on Myspace.
RM- I've met you a couple of times, and you are a good guy, and deserve to be happy. I wish you the best of luck in whatever outcome that you are hoping for. It's great that you are going through everything you are to salvage your marriage. It speaks a lot to your character. If I were in your shoes, I would make damn sure you set the precedent right now that she needs to take all the time she needs to clear whatever it is she feels she needs to clear from her head. What happens the next time she has a life crisis that involves your marriage? Is she going to put you out again so she can have space? That's bs. You should NOT have to go through this again. Life is not easy, and we all have to manage with whatever cards we are dealt. If she can't get her stuff together, is this really the person you want raising your kids? Is she going to run away from her problem every time there's an issue? The hopeless romantic in me says she really needs her space, let her figure it out, maybe she rushed into it a bit and is having second thoughts. The 21st century single guy in me says that she wants out, and not only will I show her the door, I'm going to make sure she knows on her way out, that I've already started moving on to the next girl in my life. My personal view, my personal view, my personal view on the dynamics of male-female personal relationships, is that I drive this boat, and I say where and how it goes. It's not neanderthal as it sounds, because it's never that simple. But when it comes to my personal happiness, I leave that in no one's hands, but mine. I apologize if what I said sounds ugly, or if I'm coming across as a jerk, but I've been on both sides of where you are now.
