I truly empathize with the stuff you've been through, which is kinda of eerie. You deserve the best, and I hope all this struggle will help smooth out the future bumps before they get too big. Congrats. Now go do it and report back.
I've been married for just over two years; I think you're just getting out of that honeymoon phase and will learn to love each other in a whole new way soon. The counseling may be helpful, maybe not; it's really what you make of the techniques and suggestions the counselor offers. In one sense you're in that frustrating part of the marriage where you have to break through that plateau and get past some issues that marriage introduces. Secondly I would tell you that alot of what you said really describes relationships in general. Women tend to let our their emotions and that can mean pulling out some old complaints as needed. They will also nag and generally not treat you as well as they could. I feel it's a form of retaliation for not getting the treatment they may think they deserve. When my wife gets all b!tchy, instead of getting upset, I think about whether I'm giving her attention or that extra kindness. Usually just focusing on those two things for a couple of hours will get her back to normal. Relationships aren't easy, fortunately you haven't mentioned anything that would really break the marraige, I think you just need to learn and adapt to a new life as a married man Good luck and I wish you the best... whenever you think about giving up on the marriage remind yourself of why you got married to begin with ... there is a lot to be thankful of in a marriage...
Great News! Congrats. It sounds like you are in a better place and the relationship is too. You deserve a lot of credit for being willing to work on the relationship and yourself like that. Glad to hear it is going well.
Alright, now you are back in the saddle. Time to break her heart for all the turmoil she has caused you. Break it off immediatly, tell her she was a jerk and doesn't deserve someone as good as you. Or..... Just make love to her and be happy it is working out. You choose. DD
This is the model. Love. He responded with patience and kindness instead of keeping a list of all the ways she wronged him first in his mind. He didn't seek out revenge, but instead tried to discover how he had created some of the problem. That's freaking HUGE!!!! RM95 is a friend of mine off this board. I'm INTENSELY proud of him. And so happy for him as well.
MM, I don't think that is fair, upon reviewing the thread I think most people that responded were like you and I, wishing RM the best. I am happy for him....and glad that he is on the good side of the 50% divorce rate. GO RM !! DD
what did you want us to do when people ask for it? i told him to walk away. what is he supposed to do when she outright says she doesn't feel as strongly about him as before? it could have easily gone the other way and he could have wasted a year of his life. i'm glad it didn't. but, i felt it was best to walk away from my own experience. then again, i've never been married.
Yeah, I think the people who told him to walk away were really just trying to help. You can't fault them for that. I haven't read the whole thread and I'm certainly no expert seeing as how I've never been married (although that will probably change sometime this year...) but it seems to me that RM95 and his wife sort of panicked when the honeymoon phase of their relationship/marriage was over. Maybe it just took them longer than normal to figure out that this phenomenon is..........completely normal. At any rate, I'm glad it worked out for the best. But remember that a marriage takes constant work. But it sounds like you guys get that now, so all my best!
Yeah, we both understand that a lot better now. The beauty of this is that it's like we're right back in that honeymoon phase, but we have the foundation to carry on once it's over again. But we'll be taking full advantage in the meantime. It's awesome that you are so aware of that too before getting married. Thanks for all the well wishes guys. For all the pain I've gone through in the last four months, it's really been probably the most productive time in my life and it's helped me realize what great friends and family I have.
RM95, congratulations. I really admire what you did, and her determination to make it work. We're looking at our 29th anniversary in February, and went through our bad times as well. All these years, and today our love is as strong as ever. Good luck, and keep it going!
