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Cool Story Drose

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by moestavern19, May 24, 2010.

  1. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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    Anyway this is hilarious. NOT.

    When I was about 19... My stupid, stupid uber-religious idiot Step-Dad at the age of 58 comes out of his ****ing bedroom with this brand new shirt he picked up at some crappy cheapstore down the street for 99 cents.

    The shirt shows a bald man and says "I'm Not Going Bald: I'm just getting more HEAD!".

    The shirt is hysterical, for a dirty old man. My step-dad looks like a dirty old man, but he is crazy religious and gets offended at crude humor. CRAZY RELIGIOUS. He hates any movies that show even a naked ass or a has a few too many cuss words. But he has a STUPID STUPID STUPID sense of humor, where he says idiotic puns. He thinks these puns are hilarious, and laughs hysterically each time he is able to use them, which is at least 15000 times.

    Clearly, He doesn't understand the double entendre being implied by his shirt choice, he is just simply so goofy in his humor that he thinks a shirt that says "I'm not going Bald, I'm just getting more HEAD" actually is just funny when taken literally. What a ****ing dolt I'll tell you.

    So he busts out of the room wearing this shirt and he thinks I'll get a kick out of it, and Boy he has no idea. I'm dying on the floor, howling with laughter... I'm about to do the polite thing and explain to him (awkward as it might be) that the word "HEAD" in this case is a slang term for "fellatio"... then it hits me. HE IS ABOUT TO GO TO BIBLE STUDY WITH THIS SHIRT ON.

    Holy ****ing **** I have tears in my eyes at this point. He is about to go sit down with a group of hardcore Christians who no doubt are younger than him and understand the context of the shirt. Somebody is going to have to awkwardly point out to him the meaning, and how embarrassed would his old ass be when he realized what the shirt had really meant?

    I'd have paid 500 bucks to have been there for that moment, and of course now I can never ask about it. But I assume it went down almost as I imagine because he came home later and the shirt was never seen again, and the incident was never discussed.

    YADDA YADA YODA BRING ON MLWOO's FRIDAY NIGHT STORY TIME BACK!

    RACK ME I AM OUT OF THE CLOSET!
     
  2. Ricksmith

    Ricksmith Contributing Member

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    it just feels right.

    [​IMG]
     
  3. Ziggy

    Ziggy QUEEN ANON

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    Why now?
     
  4. ryan17wagner

    ryan17wagner Member

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    I guess dumb runs in the family.

    You're what they call a "r****d."

    Goodnight, Texas.
     
  5. Pete Chilcutt

    Pete Chilcutt Contributing Member

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  6. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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    I told you it wasn't funny. I mean its honestly the saddest thing ever. But I laugh at stupid **** when I'm on Angel Dust.

    So **** ryan17wagner because his uncle molests collies.
     
  7. Invisible Fan

    Invisible Fan Contributing Member

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    drug induced flashback?


    This is a good case to get your money back from your dealer.
     
  8. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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    Christ Jesus in a Cranberry Cardigan I just realized I am turning into Fatty.


    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    [​IMG]
     
  9. RudyTBag

    RudyTBag Contributing Member
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    Awwww man I want to hear what happened!!!!!
     
  10. ryan17wagner

    ryan17wagner Member

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    I take it you're snorting crack off your Magic the Gathering cards again.

    Sorry 'bout it!
     
  11. arkoe

    arkoe (ง'̀-'́)ง

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    This story was bigwhiskeyandthegroogruxkingerific.
     
  12. Bandwagoner

    Bandwagoner Contributing Member

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    Dang man, I didn't know you liked to get wet.
     
  13. Red Chocolate

    Red Chocolate Contributing Member

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    i lol'ed a few times.
     
  14. Bandwagoner

    Bandwagoner Contributing Member

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    Dude you don't snort crack! You shoot it.
     
  15. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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    Excuse him, he's on the small bus.
     
  16. BEAT LA

    BEAT LA Member

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    Almost repped.
     
    1 person likes this.
  17. ryan17wagner

    ryan17wagner Member

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    Tell that Moe.
     
  18. ryan17wagner

    ryan17wagner Member

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    You have any real life friends in the H that you haven't met on-line, yet?
     
  19. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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  20. RocketMadness

    RocketMadness Member

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    Lmao.
     

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