Seriously, this is what needs to be said: You want my opinion? Ok… Shut the hell up. You’re not his wife. You’re not paying for the things in his life. It’s absolutely none of your business what he does with his hobbies or his money. I know your type well… first it’s “Sell the boat because it’s costing too much money.” Then it’s “No, you can’t go spend the weekend with your buddies because I need you to take me shopping.” Then it’s “Oh gee, honey… I’m pregnant. Gosh, I have no idea how that happened.” You’re a DreamKiller. You kill a guy’s dreams, take away his future, tie him down with a fat mortgage and too many babies, and turn him into just another miserable guy wondering, “How the hell did I get here?” Do you really want to help him? Here’s what you do… you stay the HELL away from him when he is out with his buddies or doing something with one of his hobbies. You can go to your local library (it’s a big building with books inside) and check out a couple of books on his specific hobbies. Read them, over and over, until YOU understand what needs to be done. Then help him with whatever he needs help on. Tie your hair back in a ponytail, put on some old jeans and get your hands dirty. Hand him tools, hold the light, open the door to his garage… help him with anything he needs. When he gets tired, run inside and make him a hot lunch or dinner. Fix him coffee, hot chocolate, whatever he wants. (But NO beer. Beer is for when the job is done.) Then when the day is over and you’re both exhausted from working on his project, push him into a hot shower and jump in with him. Scrub his back, wash his hair, rinse him off, and dry him with fluffy towels still hot from the dryer. Then push him into bed and screw his ears off. Then get up the next day and do it all over again. Make him realize that having a hobby can be a slow and methodical process. Make him realize that every step should be regarded as surgery; every step must be perfect… perfect torque, perfect fit, perfectly clean. If you run into a step that you just can’t figure out, ask for help from someone who knows what he’s doing. Are you cute? Put on a low-cut top, show some cleavage and go (by yourself) to the local shop, and explain to the guys that you are helping your boyfriend with a project and neither of you can figure out this one little step, and do they have any advice… Think it won’t work? Think again. We guys love to help cute girls, even if they have a boyfriend. (Hey, maybe you’ve got a sister, or girlfriend…) But absolutely DO NOT whine or complain. Do not say a single negative thing. Not a single “Oooooo, I broke a nail.” If you break a nail, or cut your finger, or bang a knuckle, you just shut up and DEAL WITH IT. You should be a hopelessly optomistic, never-say-die cheerleader, encouraging him every step of the way. That’s my opinion.
