Best Line in a Movie: "Greed is good," - Michael Douglas in Wall Street -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Best Monologue in a Movie: ::Edward Norton aKa Montgomery Brogan in 25th Hour (Monty walks into the bathroom. He looks in the mirror. In the bottom corner, someone's written F*ck You!) Monty: Yeah, f*ck you, too. Monty's Reflection: F*ck me? F*ck you! F*ck you and this whole city and everyone in it. F*ck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, grinning behind my back. These squeegee men dirtying up my clean windshield. Get a f*cking job! F*ck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores and stinking up my day. Terrorists in f*cking training. Slow the f*ck down! F*ck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35. F*ck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English? F*ck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you f*cking came from! F*ck the black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds! F*ck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gecko wannabe mother f*ckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for f*cking life! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that $hit? Give me a f*cking break! Tyco! Inclone! Adelphia! Worldcom! F*ck the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst f*ckin parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, because they make the Puerto Ricans look good. F*ck the Bensonhurst Italians with their palmaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, and their St. Anthony medallions. Swinging their dainty, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. F*ck the Upper East Side wives with their Armani scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart! F*ck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take fives steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the f*ck on! F*ck the corrupt cops with their penis violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! F*ck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. F*ck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, f*ck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in f*ckin Otisville, Jay! F*ck Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fueled fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal, Irish ass! F*ck Jacob Elinski, whining malcontent. F*ck Francis Xavier Slaughtery, my best friend, judging me while he stares at my girlfriend's ass. F*ck Naturelle Rivera. I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back. Sold me up the river. F*cking b****. F*ck my father with his endless grief, standing behind that bar. Sipping on club soda, selling whiskey to firemen and cheering the Bronx Bombers. F*ck this whole city and everyone in it. From the row houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue. From the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in SoHo. From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in parks slope to the split levels in Staten Island. If we have an earthquake, I'll welcome it. Let the fires rage. Let it burn to f*ckin ash then let the waters rise and submerge this whole, rat-infested place. Monty: No. No, f*ck you, Montgomery Brogan. You had it all and then you threw it away, you dumb f*ck! (He takes a breath and tries to rub away the words.)
More great Full Metal Jacket lines: Are you quitting on me?! Well, are you?! Then quit, you slimy ****ing walrus-looking piece of ****! Get the **** off of my obstacle! Get the **** down off of my obstacle! Now! Move it! I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo! Holy dog ****! Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks? God has a hard-on for Marines, because we kill everything we see. He plays His games, we play ours. To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls. God was here before the Marine Corps, so you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the corps! Private Joker: [narrating] "Paris Island, South Carolina. The Marine Corps Training Depot. An eight-week college for the stupid tough and the crazy brave."
Speaking of that hottie Phoebe Cates (growwwlll!!!) turning 40, I forgot about Fast Times in my quote list.... here goes: [The "five-point plan"] Mike Damone: First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi." Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it." Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?" Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice." And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV. (It's funny because he played Kashmir, which is off Physical Graffitti. I can't believe Cameron Crowe, who wrote the movie and also used to cover Led Zeppelin for Rolling Stone, didn't fix that little snafu) Jeff Spicoli: Relax, alright? My old man is a television repairman, he's got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it.
"Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a ****ing big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the **** you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, ****ed up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose a future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?" Fight Club: "Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy **** we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off." Short ones: OS: Beanie: We're going to get so much ass here...like boy band ass! Mitch: Sorry, your seatbelt seems to be broken. What do you recommend I do? Cab Driver: I recommend you stop being such a f*****. You're in the backseat. Tombstone: Johnny Ringo: Isn't anyone here man enough to play for blood? Doc Holliday: I'm your huckleberry.
yea, but he was offset by Sonny Bono as the impotent mad bomber... Air Controller: Captain, maybe we oughtta turn on the search lights now. Kramer: No. That's just what they will be expecting us to do Capt. Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before? Joey: No sir, I've never been in a plane before. Capt Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked? Dr. Rumack: This woman has got to be taken to a hospital. Elaine: A hospital? What is it? Dr. Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now. Elaine: [over intercom] "There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane? McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines. McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking. McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking. McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. Kramer: Striker, listen, and you listen close: flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes. Reporter : What kind of plane is it? Johnny: Well, it's a big pretty white plane with a red stripe, curtains at the windows, wheels, and it just looks like a big Tylenol! and then one of my favorite exchanges from Airplane 2 McCroskey: Jacobs, I want to know absolutely everything that's happened up 'till now. Johnny: Well, let's see: First the earth cooled. And, then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died, and they turned into oil. And, then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes. And, Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di's clothes. I couldn't believe it, he took her best summer dress out of the closet, and put it on, and went to town. and one more.. It's 106 miles to Chicago, We've got a full tank of gas and a half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses...Hit it.
Ben Affleck in "Dazed and Confused"--" Oh, I'm sorry Mamm, I was just ecorting your fine young son home...There seem to be some ruffians about....and uugh...Oh! Mitch, Carl...we'll be seeing each other agin this summer.....OH THAT'S IT, I SAW THAT YOU LITTLE FA****, YOU'RE F****** DEAD!!! YOU HERE ME?!! YOU'RE F****** DEAD!! UGGH!!" another classic.. "How tall are you son?...I didn't know they stacked $hit that High!" R. Lee--awesome! "Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?!"..."Don't stop him...he's on a role" Conan--"Conan! What is best in life?"--"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentation of the women!"
Got to get in some "The Shining" Quotes: Delbert Grady: Did you know, Mr. Torrance, that your son is attempting to bring an outside party into this situation? Did you know that? Jack Torrance: No. Delbert Grady: He is, Mr. Torrance. Jack Torrance: Who? Delbert Grady: A n*****. Jack Torrance: A n*****? Delbert Grady: A n***** cook. Jack Torrance: How? Delbert Grady: Your son has a very great talent. I don't think you are aware how great it is. That he is attempting to use that very talent against your will. Jack Torrance: He is a very willful boy. Delbert Grady: Indeed he is, Mr. Torrance. A very willful boy. A rather naughty boy, if I may be so bold, sir. Jack Torrance: It's his mother. She, uh, interferes. Delbert Grady: Perhaps they need a good talking to, if you don't mind my saying so. Perhaps a bit more. My girls, sir, they didn't care for the Overlook at first. One of them actually stole a pack of matches, and tried to burn it down. But I "corrected" them sir. And when my wife tried to prevent me from doing my duty, I "corrected" her. Jack Torrance: Wendy, let me explain something to you. Whenever you come in here and interrupt me, you're breaking my concentration. You're distracting me! And it will then take me time to get back to where I was. You understand? Wendy Torrance: Yeah. Jack Torrance: Now, we're going to make a new rule. When you come in here and you hear me typing [types] Jack Torrance: or whether you DON'T hear me typing, or whatever the **** you hear me doing; when I'm in here, it means that I am working, THAT means don't come in! Now, do you think you can handle that? Wendy Torrance: Yeah. Jack Torrance: Good. Now why don't you start right now and get the **** out of here? Hm? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Full Metal Jacket" is a good one as well although many good ones have been said but here is a gem: Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Private Joker, do you believe in the Virgin Mary? Private Joker: Sir, no sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Well Private Joker, I don't believe I heard you correctly! Private Joker: Sir, the private said "no sir," sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Why you little maggot, you make me want to vomit! [Slaps Joker] Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: You goddamned communist heathen, you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary, or I'm gonna stomp your guts out! And my all-time favorite movie quote from my all-time favorite movie, "North by Northwest": Roger Thornhill (talking to Eve Kendall): How does a girl like you get to be a girl like you?
PULP FICTION EZEKIEL 25:17 JULES: The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. Marsellus: I'm prepared to scour the the Earth for that motherf*cker. If Butch goes to Indochina, I want a n!gger waiting in a bowl of rice ready to pop a cap in his a$$. Jules: Oh man, I will never forgive yo a$$ for this. This is some f*cked-up, repugnant ****! Vincent: Jules, did you ever hear the philosophy that once a man admits he's wrong, then he's automatically forgiven of that wrongdoing? Jules: Man, get out of my face with that ****! The mother****er who said that never had to pick up itty bitty pieces of skull on account of your dumb ass [Cleaning their bloody hands.] Jules: F*ck, n!gger, what did you do to his towel? Vincent: I was dryin' my hands. Jules: You're supposed to wash 'em first. Vincent: You watched me wash 'em. Jules: I watched you get 'em wet. Vincent: I washed 'em. This ****'s hard to get off. Maybe if I had Lava or something, I coulda done a better job. Jules: I used the same f*ckin' soap you did and when I got finished, the towel didn't look like no god-damn Maxi-Pad!! Paul: Hey, my name's Paul and this ****'s between y'all Jules: What country are you from? Brett: What? Jules: I never heard of What. They speak English in What? The Wolf: That's thirty minutes away. I'll be there in ten.
