I was hesitant to post in this thread, because I tend to show a little too much of myself on this board, and I have several very personal angles on this topic, but I just have to give one. I don't understand the anti-abortionists who say they're thinking of the "children" by protesting and pushing for a ban. Its completely debatable at what point the collection of cells becomes a child, but it seems that their only concern is that the pregnancy is carried to term. I don't see any of you addressing the real live situations these unwanted children would be born into and why you think you have better judgment into what is right for the would-be child than the persons making that decision now. I was an unplanned pregnancy that was carried to term. It wasn't out of selflessness and love. It was out of my mother's fear of God and of judgment by others. I was born 4 years after my brother. She was done having kids since she had already birthed 5 females, then finally the male she was waiting for. As far as I could remember, she would tell me that I was a mistake. Not only would she tell me, but her actions backed up her words. I still remember when I was 5 and my brother was 9, and we started fighting. She kicked my ass and told me I should know better than to fight with him. When I got older (7-11), she would beat the hell out of me for the smallest things and usually wouldn't stop until my father made her. The beatings finally stopped when she left my face bloody and I got right back up and showed her they no longer affected me. She pretty much left me alone after that. Then, when I was 13, I worked up the courage to tell her that I was being sexually abused by my sister's drunk husband. She told me that I was too full of myself and I was taking things the wrong way. LOL Those early teens were especially painful and difficult for me. If it wasn't for some very very dear friends, I can honestly say that I wouldn't be here now. My point in all of this is-why in the world would you want to MAKE someone bring another child into the world that they are unwilling or unable to nurture and care for? If my mother would have "thought of the child", she would have made the decision to terminate the pregnancy before I was made to suffer through her complete apathy and sometimes straightforward disdain towards me throughout my childhood. If abortions are banned, some women will still risk their lives to have one, because there are so many factors that can lead to that decision. And to those that don't, there will be many, many children that will have it so much worse than I did. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Finalsbound, I applaud your friend's courage and foresight for preventing another child being born into very unfortunate circumstances and doing what was right for her. Sorry for the long post, if anyone actually made it this far. At 14, my friends were telling me that all you need is a good washing after sex to prevent pregnancy. If your friends knew how to safely and correctly use contraceptives at 12, and were able to effectively pass all of that information on to you, I'm very impressed. I'd say a majority of these 20-24 year olds are using contraceptives incorrectly, leading to the unwanted pregnancy. It seems to me that you're being sarcastic about making an effort to re-educate these people. Forgive me if I'm wrong, and if I am, you'd be greatly helping your cause and doing a wonderful service.
I was being sarcastic but only with the "let's waste no time" introduction. There are those here who feel that the only legitimate pro-Life activity is counseling and education about pregnancy prevention. No doubt that that is a great and valid activity but I keep pointing out that that does nothing about the children already conceived who have parents sitting on the fence about their very lives.
Can we have every educational session/discussion about ways to prevent unwanted pregnancies include something similar to the following: "Regardless of any precautions taken, as long as both participants are medically capable, the only sure fire way to prevent an unwanted pregnancy is to abstain from sexual intercourse."
Shadypink, thank you for sharing your story and I'm sorry to hear about everything you had to go through with your family. I think your story points out though why this is a difficult decision either way. You said that it was your mother's fear of God that was why she brought you to term. Obviously if she didn't you wouldn't be here to share your story with us. It sounds like this was a decision that on some level your mother regretted and you had to bear the negative consequences of that. The alternative of not having you around in hindsight might be a worse idea and most of us would agree that is better that you are here. I agree though that if abortion is banned there will still be abortions just done outside of any legal structure. As I said before that makes me pro-choice because I would rather have them out legally but stories like your are why I can see the other side too.
I thought that folks were complaining that the only thing being taught in schools is abstinence only. I take it by your comment that this is incorrect? Students are being taught birth control methods as well? That being the case, what isn't being taught that (for example) the 20-24 year old demographic should know?
See finalsbound's post beneath your own. ShadyPink: Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry you had such a rough time coming up, but I'm glad to know you a little through the internet.
Shady - I'm so sorry you had to endure all that. I realize it may sound shallow coming from someone you do not know over the internet....but no matter what you were told, you are not a mistake. You are loved and you have been love to other people, I'm sure. There is intense meaning in that.
this is the best post I have read, you have something more valuable than an opinion... you have scars. what you have to say on this subject means something... I heard you
The right to choose abortion is the result of the fact that the fetus exists inside the woman's body and feeds off of her biological processes. If the woman does not want her uterus to be used to bring a fetus to term that is and should be her choice, not yours or anyone else's. Forcing a woman to bring a fetus to term and bear it is wrong. I will agree that one or both of the sex partners should have thought to use birth control, but that doesn't change the fundamental fact that you and your pro-life brethren have no right to force a woman to do anything based on your personal morality. So, if a man woos a woman, convinces her to have sex with him under the pretenses of being "in love" and then dumps the woman after having sex, the woman should be forced to bring the fetus to term because she was gullible and naive? Your reasoning for the circumstance of rape seems to be the same as the reasoning of many women who had consensual sex. They believe that their mental state and livelihood would be destroyed if they were to bear a child. It is not for you to say that the anguish I mentioned is any less valid than what you described above.
If you actually believe that protests outside abortion clinics have positive impacts, then I believe you are delusional. Sex education (including education about abstinence) and contraception have been shown to have a positive impact on the rates of unplanned pregnancy (the root cause of abortion). I have not seen a single peer reviewed study that indicates that the tactics of protests and legal restrictions on abortion have any positive impact at all.
Did I ever even once promote protests outside of abortion clinics? It's bad enough when you put words in my mouth but now you are putting events on my calendar.
I agree with you, but it is obvious that birth control is not available enough. With the rates of unplanned pregnancies in this country, something is failing and I believe that the main failure is education about and the availability of reasonable birth control options. One of the main problems, IMO, is the fact that the "morning after" pill is not available OTC in this country. Education is also a problem, as illustrated by pink's post. It is amazing to me how much I learned at 19 when I took AIDS education classes as part of my drug abuse counselor certification. My wife told me that she leaned a TON that she was just unaware of when she read a book about reproduction as we prepared to conceive our first son. The education done on the subjects of sex and reproduction in this country is just plain sad and if it were improved, we would see fewer unplanned pregnancies.
You have chosen not to proffer any of the "events" that you choose to attend, so I am forced to make assumptions. What exactly do you do to reduce abortion rates?
As you can probably tell, my main passion is to educate/challenge people as to the real ramifications of the choice they wish to make. I've never gone to a protest. You are never forced to make assumptions...
I have no problem at all with people having conversations with pregnant women and/or their significant others to help them get off "the fence." I have a problem with attacking people who have already made their decision.
All of the education classes I have taken have included this, though the honest ones have also mentioned ... um ... backdoor follies in that discussion.
It is possible to talk with someone without attacking them. It's also quite difficult to know from their exterior when someone has made any kind of decision, but to me that is immaterial because there is a way to talk about any subject in a constructive way. You seem to have assumed that I have some extremely confrontative attitude about this. I have a bulldog attitude, yes, but I'm not some maniac out there looking for people to get in their face about it.
