I thought "don't drink and drive" meant that the driver couldn't have any form of beverage in the car with them... even if it wasn't alcohol. Needless to say... my parents weren't too happy whenever I'd pour their coffee out the window, quoting "don't drink and drive."
I used to think that, too, but never took any drastic measures like that.I was just always like, "My parents do it all the time. "
When I was in Kindergarten, I saw the playboy symbol and I thought it was like a cartoon rabbit or something. A few days later on our teacher said "Today we're going to watch a movie about a family of bunnies!" and I said "Oh maybe its playboy" My mother wasn't too amused about that. But it really set the tone for my teenage years.
When I was 6, I lived in Germany (army brat). I had no concept that it wasn't just another state in the U.S.. In fact, I thought the Pittsburgh Steelers were a German team because of all the "burg" city names over there (we lived in Wurzburg). When I moved back to the states, I started second grade at Deer Park. In gym class this guy asked me where I moved from, and when I told him he started making machine gun noises and yelling "nazi, nazi!". I was thinking wtf is wrong with this guy?
...also, am I the only person who thought that commercial said "p***y cow" instead of "Go See Cal"? I thought that every time, until one day one one of those commercials actually flashed "GO SEE CAL"....I was like..."duuuhhhhhhhhh!"
Same here with the cats and dogs thing ... even today, at 26, I can never call a cat a 'he' it's always 'she' ... like my cat is a he, but it even has a girl name, lol. I used to take mango seeds and plant them, but I used to wash them with soap to make them "clean" so the new tree wouldn't be icky from all the spit. Yeah, the trees never grew. I was convinced I could see atoms when I went to sleep. This was after I used to swear that I never slept at night, and just closed my eyes. I believed that you never move when you sleep, like you semi-die, and you just lie straight down and straight back up in the morning. I used to make sure I remembered to check my sleeping position, but never remembered to check back in the morning When we used to go shopping with the 'rents, and if it was close to a store closing time, my parents would leave the kids in the car and rush in to get something. So like they'd close the doors with the grills, and I'd freak out that I'd never see them again ... my brother used to have fun with that.
LOL, nothing that drastic. i was on the bus and got into an argument with some dude. we were throwing insults at each other. then i said something like, "i pissed all over your mom's face last night." yea, mama insults. he yelled back, "well, i came in your mother's mouth." i retorted with, "you're dumb. c*m and piss are the same thing!" next thing i know, half the bus is laughing. i had the, "wtf?" look going. i would have ran home and googled it, but the internet didn't exist then.
In a School science class four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil. After one day, these were the results: The first worm in alcohol --- dead. The second worm in cigarette smoke --- dead. The third worm in sperm --- dead. The fourth worm in soil --- alive. So the science teacher asked the class --- "What can you learn from this experiment." Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said. "As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't have worms."
some of ya'll are hilarious!! i still don't get the cats/dogs and female/male thing though. i used to think that if i wore sunglasses, no one was able to see me.
I've always liked doughnuts (mmmmm....doughnuts) and when I was a kid and I saw doughnuts and got hungry I used to think the doughnuts where somehow telling me to eat them and I would tell my mom "but you have to get me a doughnut because they will be sad if I don't eat them." I used to never understand following distance in driving and I when I finally got to sit in the front seat I always wondered why my parents along with all of the other cars weren't driving right behind each other like railroad cars. When I was a little kid the only thing I knew about sex and relations between men and women came from watching movies like Gone with the Wind since my parents wouldn't let me see anything racier than that. I thought that if a man liked a woman he had to go up and grab her and keep on kissing her like Clark Gable does and even though she would fight for awhile she would give up and fall in love. Am I glad I got that figured out by the time I really became interested in girls.
Saw JAWS when I was 3 years old. My friends used to play tricks on me since i thought there were sharks in the swimming pool. Bastards...
and if you did google it, I'm sure your mom would find out and your dad would probably get in trouble. Or your dad would find out and your mom would get mad later on.
You see though, there is a third hole which is something I just found out a few years ago. Not to be gross, but apparently a woman's urine comes out of a different hole than where babys come out of (which is the vagina boys and girls). I really did not know this until I was in my 20's and my wife informed me.
