My girl friend and I are getting married next month in church and we have been living together for a few years. Is it appropriate for her to marry in a white dress? Im not sure about this, nor did the father ask us if we lived together. The only thing they asked us, if we had any kids. Can someone let me know? Thanks.
Yeah...he priest has been pretty cool about everything, i think i just wont tell him we live together.
My impression is that most modern priests follow a "don't ask, don't tell" policy on this one. If you are concerned about it, have her (or you) use her parent's address on any paperwork. However, if you are a month out, you've probably already 'passed' the requirements of the Catholic Church. The priest doesn't care what color the dress is. That's a tradition -- probably one the bride cares about more than anyone. Do you care what she wears? Relax and enjoy the experience!
As the representative for all Catholics in the world, I say she should wear the dress. Hey....I heard voices.....
I would think it would be embarassing to show up in a Catholic church to get married, wearing something other than white. Kind of like giving up your dirty secret right there in front of all your family and friends.
My wife wore a white dress on our wedding and we had 2yr old son. The dress wasn't an issue with the church (yes both of us are Catholic). The issue was that we weren't married but was living together as husband & wife with child. So we had a Validation ceremony in the church chapel. A Validation ceremony is small & short wedding validating our vowels to God as husband & wife. Now if wanted a real big traditional wedding with all the bells & whistles we would have to not to live together for 6months then proceed with everything.
Silly You! It's not about living together! You can live together all you want. You just can't have sex before marriage. Duh!
He does bring up a good point... maybe you live together but she lives on the west end of your mansion and you on the other end.
Not at the Catholic church where we got married. They knew we had been living together for 5 years. It all depends on the particular church and Priest. We just had to do the regular marriage prep stuff (which I wish we skipped because they don't really check). No biggie. And we have been married for almost five years now...
Thanks for all the advice....I thought it was a bigger issue getting married in church with a white dress after having kids. I didnt think it was that big of a deal if you already lived together. I know shes not wearing a vale across her face.
I have never really heard of it being an issue. I think it's all folklore. I don't think they really care what color dress she wears, she could probably wear a polka dot suit if she wanted.
I think its common for people to live together, however, IMO, its still frowned upon by the catholic church...Don't ask don't tell, however, its all a matter of perspective with regards to the white dress...I would have no problem, as it represents purity, yes, but a symbolism of pure love for one another, IMO... Congrats and good luck...
The church could care less. You paid for the church and they will marry you in the church. The only people I have ever heard say anything about the color of the brides dress is the other women at the wedding.
Hahahaha! Thats funny that you say that, because thats what actually made me start thinking about this. I heard a co-worker making a comment to another girl about getting married in a church with a whitedress, and living together is a sin.
should be fine, but when you guys have kids, make sure to get the potty training book titled 'you're a naughty child and thats concentrated evil coming out of you'. must read for all catholic parents
This really depends on the priest. If I were you, I would not even mention that you live together and have another address handy in case the priest "casually" asks for your addresses. If the priest is very strict (i.e. jerk) he could make it difficult. The priest that married me and my wife was a mean, petty man. I really had to struggle to keep my mouth shut and just get through everything. He actually walked in on my wife and her bridesmaids (in their dressing room!) and threatened to call the wedding off because he found them sharing a bottle of wine. He said that if she was drunk I could get the marraige annulled. Believe me, a few sips of wine will not make my wife drunk. Of course, being men, my and my groomsmen were smarter and had our beers outside in someones trunk...
