I have a friend who endured this. Who was molested as a child and dealt with its after-effects his whole life. I can't begin to understand it, but it does seem to be a defining event, even when it happens at a very young age. I am so sorry that there was no one in this man's life that gave him reason to live. That his family was worried more about judging than loving him. Absolutely kills me to read this.
I'm not going to judge Bill, as he put up a very good fight and the fickle nature of humans obviously alienated him and his timeless problem. But when she starts sorting through my stuff and not cleaning up her mess in the kitchen... All ill say is thank god she looks the way she does.
He's neither a coward nor a hero. Nor do I suspect he'd want to be. He's just a guy who's demons were too strong for him to overcome. Truly tragic.
Nothing is more precious than human life. No matter how broken, miserable, or hopeless it seems, there is always a way to get through. It's not always easy to find, but it's there. It's such a tragedy that Zeller gave up before finding it. This note is disturbing, but some of the responses are even more so. Some of the posts seem like they are justifying, or even condoning his suicide. Wake up people. Sure his death ended his misery, but along with it, it ended all the good that was and could have been in his life. It ended all possible hope of healing and redemption. NOTHING good comes from suicide.
I don't necessarily disagree as you won't find a person who is a bigger opponent against suicide than myself. Yet, I really think that you have to take each one of these tragedies on a case by case basis. Not every occurrence of a suicide is for the same reason. From what Mr. Zeller wrote, it sounded like his situation was a lot deeper than most. Once again, I am not condoning his act; just saying that his situation was a lot tougher than what you usually see from this.
Wow, I feel a deep sadness at the moment. I have so many words right now, but can't seem to get out what I want to say. I hope in his death he found peace. I wish he could have found it before he chose to take his life, but who am I to judge.
Having faced long periods of isolation myself I can somewhat understand the burdens he carried and the trust issues he had. To compound that with an event that you can never forget and is deeply intimate, it would've been crushing not to have a release of any kind while having it snowball in your mind. I hope he finds his peace.
Sad story. RIP Bill. I know a girl who was molested by her father for 12 years. I take this stuff seriously because I know the effects that it has upon the victim. Psychologically, they blame themselves for any other family issues that go on. They don't know how to express emotions and usually are bi-polar. A lot of them look for love through lust. The list goes on... She sought help and ended up having to sit in court and testify against her father. A lot of people wanna sit here and act like it's no big deal to confess and talk about your problem. In her case, her parents were split. She had left her father's custody because she was sick of being around him. Her little brother was a daddy's boy all along though. She felt as though there was no way out, because if she told, she would have put her brother in a terrible situation. If she were to tell the counselor anything about the 'who', she would become the bad guy. At least that's how she saw it. So it's not as simple as most people think. Not only do you hurt all of those around you, you put a lot of family and friends in disbelief. In this case, a lot of them would have gone to say she was "crazy" simply because she stopped going to church and left her dad's custody before that. Obviously there's more to it, but there really isn't a right answer for victims of rape/molestation. It seems clear cut for outsiders, but for the victim it must feel like suicide is the only way out.
Im late to this but i agree with a few people on here that he is in fact a coward... I could care less if i get neg rep for this but it sickens me to think people would end their lives when there are professionals in this world to help you... In my high school during my junior year, there was a suicide. It was over a girl that broke up with a guy because he cheated on her, the guy hung himself and wrote a letter and sent it to her house. Everyone knew the girl and we felt sorry for HER not the guy, to end your life is rediculous i have no sympathy for those people. They are selfish cowards.There is always someone that can help or at least try to help you. And for this person, i understand that rape and molestation is a terrible, awful thing. But dont put your stuff over the internet, and since he did if he never killed himself, as someone else said it earlier, he could have helped someone going through the same experience as im sure he isnt the only one.. I stand by my comment of selfish cowards...it sickens me that someone could end their life, especially at such a young age...
I agree. I once heard from someone that the people who stress (or carry stress around with them) are people who are smart/intelligent. It makes sense if you think about it.
This is much easier to say from someone who was not raped as a 3 year old and is reminded of it daily because he cannot even perform normal bodily functions. For all those people, including myself, how is it that YOU know "there is always a way to get through"? Is it because that is the right thing to say? Or that that is what we were told, by someone else who was never raped as a 3 year old and reminded of it daily? I am sure there are people who have endured it. People who have endured worse. But everyone is different. Every situation is different. Those who have endured may have been stronger. Or maybe they simply were lucky enough to find someone/something to live for. Unlike Zeller.
were you raped so much when you were three that you couldn't even take a **** in a normal fashion? if not, shut the **** up.
S***'s weak. Suicide is an absolute last resort. This guy didn't even try to tell his girl, a professional, anyone about his secret. So college kids gossiped about his sexual orientation, big deal. He shouldn't just assume they will talk about his infant rape the same way. Weak.
Suicide, contrary to the reliable cliches, is neither selfish nor cowardly. In fact, as Camus pointed out, it is the only question worth pondering. We don't ask to be born, it is thrust upon us. And we have no choice as to whether we will die: we will. Our only power in this situation, a situation that renders us mostly powerless, is to determine the time and method of death - a thing that is already an inevitability. There is no easy way to leave this world. Guns, hangings, jumping are all painful, violent methods. And they each require bravery, the opposite of cowardice, simply to employ. Never mind the fact that the permanence of the act takes great courage to overcome. Methods which are often regarded to be peaceful ones are not. Sleeping pills, etc, are extremely unreliable and the body still fights back. People committing suicide do not pass painlessly in their sleep. As for the "selfish" angle, the writer handled it better than I can here. But to reiterate, the truly selfish are the ones who prefer that someone in incredible pain 'tough it out.' Why? So that they won't be made to feel sad. Who is the "selfish" one in this situation? As someone who has been in intensive therapy for nearly two years, I can vouch for the fact that it can work. But it is not magic. It is painful, slow, frustrating and comes with no guarantees. And useful therapy promises an increase in pain, and an extended one, before there is any hope for relief. But it's the coward BS that really gets my goat. Remember when Bill Maher was fired for saying the 9/11 attackers weren't cowards? Who here has the balls to fly a plane into a building? (They were villains for sure; cowards, no way.) Who has the balls to shoot himself in the head, hang himself by the neck, jump off a building... knowing that the result will be the end of everything? These "coward" and "selfish" memes are cliched BS designed to make a villain of the sufferer/the dead in order to give the survivors a vent to their anger over their loss. But they are BS. I've lost four of my dearest friends to suicide (two when I was 13, two when I was in my 30s). All I felt for any of them was sympathy and relief that their pain was finally over. RIP, Bill. I am sorry your life was such a horrible, painful chore.
You shut the **** up, prick.. i wasnt raped but i still think he is a coward. You cant change my mind about this. So shut the **** up...
