Exactly, and calling someone Self Righteous because they don't believe like you do is incredibly ironic. DD
I know. Not all wounds can be healed DaDa. You are 100% correct, it was rude. I removed it from the post before you posted. Unfortunately you had already quoted me. I'm really sorry. I try to make a point not to contribute any negativity to a person's day.
I'm not calling you self righteous for not believing as I do, I'm calling you self righteous for passing judgment on this man's actions because you disagree with them when you didn't live with what he lived with.
I am only judging the letter, and what I believe he left behind for others to deal with because of it. What was the purpose of his letter? If he wanted out, why not just kill himself and move on? He made the point of all of this by writing it, which leaves behind more questions for those that are living to deal with, that is not a selfless thing to do, it is a selfish thing to do.....again, IMO. DD
Very often when people commit suicide it is looked at as a tragic, senseless act. I for one am glad he left this letter so that the people who read it grasp the darkness he struggled with everyday. For those who played a part in it (beyond the likely disturbed individual who did the actual raping) there is a lesson to be learned from this letter that cannot be written off like a simple suicide would have been.
But the guy/person that raped him got away with it.....if he really wanted to help, or deal with it, he should have named names......even after 20 years. Cleary Zeller was not right and dealing with major demons.... But think of it for a moment, he didn't name the name of his rapist, but he did imply it was when he was 3, who has access to him as a 3 year old? Seems like he sort of implied it was his dad.....and now.....his parents have to deal with this without any chance of helping or getting their name cleared if it was not them. Either way, may he RIP. DD
I thought the same thing, but he talked about how much he loved his mother regardless of how she treated him...perhaps he wanted to name the SOB (probably the father or close relative) but he knew what it would do to her if he did.
It was really hard to read that letter. You know there was a time when I would be one of the first to condemn Mr. Zeller and what he did. I like to think that because I am older now that I am also a little wiser. As someone who has struggled with depression at various times in my life, the thoughts of suicide can pop up but they have always vanished within seconds. I cannot bring myself to do that, no matter what happens to me and my life. Yet, I am not going to tell you that I think Mr. Zeller is a coward or selfish or anything like that. I just am going to say that I don't agree with his decision. The one thing that I really wished had happened to him was that he could have told someone that was actually a decent, caring, loving person about what had happened to him. In reading that, I couldn't help but think about Jim Jones and what it must have been like for the people living under him. As justtxyank said, the people who were supposed to be there for him and love him were the ones causing all of his nightmares. Going to a counselor probably wouldn't have done him any good but we can't say that definitively. What he needed, IMO, was someone to confide in when he was a child that could have nurtured him and steered him to where he should be. The fact that window passed him by made him feel like he was in a bottomless abyss with no hope of getting out. So, I understand why he did it. I would have not done that but living life like that sure isn't easy. Man, what a tough tough situation. +++
You don't know that the person who raped him is even still alive. And he also made a point that he has no actionable evidence. Had he not killed himself and (hypothetically) named his father, could his father have cleared his name if it was not him? And what be accomplished if it WAS him but it could not be proven? Zeller would have a new war on his hands as his family would taken sides (and trust me when I tell you they don't often side with the damaged kid)
Even though you are a Red Sox fan, I repped you for this contribution. I also want to point out, that for all the talk about how he should have talked to someone, if you've never carried a burden like this you can't understand how much worse it makes it when you try to talk to someone you are close with and realize that don't want this burden. The vast majority of people, even those who are willing to listen and help in most circumstances, do not want the responsibility of being there for someone who carries this kind of pain.
Wow, pretty impressive writing, borderline literature. And terribly sad situation. What would lead a person to rape a 3-year old? You think of every worst-case scenario and in the deepest, darkness corners of one's soul, you would never, ever even think of slightly hurting a 3-year old, much less rape. Many of us probably think that if he had gotten help, he could have been saved. But I'm telling you, if someone really wants to do it, they're going to, regardless. Doesn't mean one shouldn't seek help, but that no amount of help can save certain people. No matter how great we might think their life is. Case in point: Brad Delp.
Severe emotional abuse, being a rape victim himself, etc. Unfortunately a lot of these "sickos" and "perverts" who do these horrible acts were taken down some pretty dark roads against there will as well.
how about: I was molested. I could never tell anyone because when I told someone I thought I was gay they couldn't keep the secret. I can't tell anyone about this because they can't keep secrets. FML.
gotcha dude...my apologies as well. having been in a relationship with someone who was raped at 16 and hearing about what she went through when she told people about it makes me a little sensitive to this. i've always been of the mind set too that suicide is not necessarily a cowardly act. i mean, how cowardly is it to actually end your own life.
Wow, the Ronny haters come out at night. Hot people have problems too, we're just less emo about them. You think I like waking up everyday by the marina with a Russian chick asking me where I keep the orange juice? Do you think it's fun being objectified by woman as a jungle warrior lover and not 'i wonder how he feels'?
