Best man duties

When I got married last summer, my best man gave a toast at the reception (pretty traditional) and helped remember to bring the ring for the wedding. As far as cost goes, all my friends/ groomsmen chipped in on the bachelor party.

If the stripper thing doesn't sound all that enticing, maybe you could have a poker night, or hit up a bunch of clubs. Maybe an evening at a sporting event or comedy club would be fun?

 

I'll be watching this thread with interest. I'm going to be the best man at my brother's wedding later this year. For the bachelor party, I'm thinking of playing golf and going to a Texans game. Maybe clay shooting. My brother really isn't into clubs, and he doesn't want any strippers, etc. (damn!) so I'm sort of just trying to pick some good "guy" things. I haven't started planning or anything . . . need to get on that soon.

 

I've been a best man and been married myself, and the main two things are making sure the rings get there and making the toast at the reception. The first usually isn't a problem, and the second can be tricky. If you've been to a lot of weddings, some best man toasts are awesome, some are pretty bad, and a few are downright cringeworthy. You've got to strike that right balance of funny without being crass. You can allude to past misbehavior or embarassing moments, but you can't humiliate the bride or groom with explicit details. It's a delicate art and it's best not to let this slide to the day of the wedding or the night before.

As far as the bachelor party, it all depends on the groom and the people attending. I've done the bar, then wings, then strip club route. I've also done the hanging out playing pool route. Everybody usually paid their own tabs and helped chip in to make sure the groom didn't pay a cent that night (except for the cheapskates).

I always preferred the strip club route. You can get a lap dance if you want, or skip out if you don't want to. Hired strippers tend to be a bit seedier, raunchier, and then there's the whole prostitution angle. Every party (all 2 of them) that I've attended with private strippers, the strippers usually offered to engage in some form of prostitution with just about everyone in attendance. Also where do the strippers show up at? At somebody's house, at a bar that you've rented out? Strip clubs are logistically easier, a bit classier, and cheaper.

 

I was the best man at my best friend's wedding.

He was not into the strippers thing and neither was I so we ended up going out the movies or something with some friends (He wasn't even 21 yet, and the city we lived in had nothing to do anyway) Bachelor parties with naked chicks seem lame and cliche to me anyway. I don't approve of it.

All I really had to do was stand up there by him while everyone else walked out with some bridesmaid on their arm. Then I gave the toast at the reception. I was pretty nervous. I was supposed to have it all ready to go, but I ended up writing it about an hour before I was supposed to head over to the Groom's house to take him to the wedding.
It ended up turning out pretty good. I had some nice zingers. If you are going to make some jokes about the groom make sure to throw in a compliment about the bride. I got some compliments afterward.

I did have to return all the groomsman's tuxedos though. They were all sweaty as hell too.

 

EVERYONE KNOWS You will have to lead La Víbora de la Mar (snake dance) and then do El Muertito (the dead/married guy) throw to your best friend...

Spoiler

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Sincerely,
ghetto SwoLy

Yes. (before you ask Hispanic?)

EDIT: Seriously, though, it should be a proud moment for you see your buddy on his last bachelor nights... takes guts to do a nice speech, and help the groom simma don nah before the big "I DO." Good luck, Mr. Creed, sir.

 

Tips!

1) Plan Ahead and be thorough in whatever duties are given to you. My best man (and my other groomsmen) didn't take it seriously at all and the bachelor party wasn't planned until two weeks before the wedding and then it fell through because my groomsmen were non-committal, cheap, and inconsiderate. My bachelor party turned into me, one groomsmen, my bride to be, her maid of honor, and two friends from high school going to a restaurant, a club, and a movie.

Seriously, it makes the groom feel like crap when that happens and it really soiled how I felt about my "friends and family" for letting that happen.

2) Your speech needs a lot of time and thought if you are going to give one. It's fine to try to be funny, but definitely read it to someone in the family or something to see how they will react before hand. Also, for some reason there is this desire to be sappy in the speech. I'd recommend you avoid it. The wedding day isn't a sad day (shouldn't be) and bringing up sad memories is not a good idea.

3) Tell your groom to keep his own wedding rings. Those things are expensive and I wouldn't want to be responsible for them.

4) Offer to give the groom a ride to the wedding if he needs one (might be leaving in other transportation) and see if the couple needs a ride home or anything from their wedding night. It's not really your "job" but it's thoughtful.

 

Another thing I did was stick around for a bit and get them some alcohol and jack in the box for their honeymoon night in the hotel.

heh.

then they invited me to come in and hang out with them for a while.

I thought that was kind of weird but I guess they had already been at it and were tired. So I had a drink or two and then left them alone.

 

Duties as a Best Man
1. Plan the bachelor party. You can get the other groomsmen and friends to help with the costs.
2. Make sure the rings get to the wedding.
3. Make sure the groom is relaxed/properly medicated prior to the ceremony.
4. Make the first toast at the wedding reception.
5. Get totally wasted.

 

Neither is my brother, but HE doesn't get a choice on whether or not there are strippers. You shove it in his face, he'll appreciate it and thank you later for it. haha

 

Least favorite man duty: taking out the trash.

Best man duty: watching Rockets games.

 

I've been best man and been married. Here's what I learned from those.

The toasts are easy if you don't get nervous. People don't really expect you to be witty and eloquent, but if you are nervous and shaking it won't matter what you say. So just go with the flow.

For the bachelor party. For my brother's wedding, we went to a nice restaurant (Fogo de Chao) and then to a nice strip club (I forget the name). The strip club ended up being kind of a drag because everyone just got lap dances all night and there was really no interaction whatsoever between the guys. Wasn't really what I hoped for.

For my wedding, my brother was my best man and he hired a couple strippers to come and perform. That would have been great had he actually gotten a look at them beforehand. One was decent looking and the other was embarassing. You don't really want either of those sticking their ass in your face, but I was polite and went along with it.

I would say do not take any pictures or video...but it kind of depends on the situation. Crazyness is expected, but that doesn't mean the bride wants to hear about it. Pictures were taken at mine, and some of the details somehow made their way back to my wife and she still gets a little upset to this day when the subject is brought up. Even though everything that happened to me I was totally passive in and didn't really want to be involved. Still, I would respect the groom's wishes on the documentation of the event.