Beijing Man Sues Yao Ming For Ineffective Fish Oil Pills

The price of fame! The supplements based on fish oils that I take made a difference in the level of my lipids. No joke. If Yao is endorsing a product that isn't of the same level of quality, perhaps that's the problem here.

Yao, send me a private message. We'll talk. I'll tell you who my supplier is. Just don't expect a quick reply. I check that stuff every several weeks and then spend a month composing a return message. Some here may have come to realize just how slow I am at doing that sort of thing (I also struggle with snail mail. Dammit, those snails make a god-awful mess!) Of course, I expect something for helping you out. A free meal at your restaurant in Houston (I'll drive down from Austin for it), with you entertaining me with stories of your playing days with Houston, an autographed jersey, and a signed photograph of the two of us together scarfing down whatever the best things are on the menu. Your pick! I trust you, Yao. You are a Rocket icon, who's career, cut short by the frivolous gods of sport (they take particular delight in jacking around with the Rockets, as you found out to your despair, and ours), will be remembered here always. How could I not help you?

I await your reply with excitement, bordering on mania.

Yours truly,
Rick Deckard

(Blade Runner, retired, unless Ridley changes his mind, the Dick)

 

I believe the man was convinced that the pills would increase girth, and the pills failed to do so.