Only had 1 bad roommate, but nothing like what was described here though. All my other roommates were pretty cool.
Shared a dorm room my first year of college and roommate came back so drunk on night he peed in his dirty laundry hamper in the closet thinking it was the bathroom.
I had one that wrote a bunch of hot checks, left me with all the bills, and left mid lease to join the army. oh, and I remember that house party, voodoo. that was a strange event.
I had bad luck with roommates. I spent a semester overseas in college and when I came back there was a mix up in housing so I got stuck with some random guy, instead of one of my friends, in the on-campus apartments. The guy was a total ass. Normally I don't make fun of people for their weight, but since it plays a part in the story I need to inform you that he was probably 5'8" and 450+ lbs. - the sort of guy who if he were walking across the street and you swerved to miss him, you'd run out of gas. Big fella'. Well, we actually shared a bedroom, which wouldn't have been that big of a deal since I found myself staying with my girlfriend most of the time, but it did lead to one very awkward, disturbing, and scarring moment. One day I came home early from class. I opened the door to the bedroom to put my stuff up and work on a paper that was due later that week. I was not prepared for what I walked in on. On his bed, was my roommate. He was hooked up to some sort of suction tube contraption that vaguely resembled the thing in The Matrix they used to get the bug out of Neo, except instead of ending at the navel it ended a bit further south. It sounded like a jet taking off. He was naked. And shiny. I don't know if it was oil, sweat, or both. On the TV was some Japanese pr0n. When he saw me open the door, his eyes got wide, although I'm not sure if it was from the shock of me walking in on this whole scene of the timing of my entrance into the room, for at that moment he let out a bellow that would make any male elephant seal run in terror, forsaking his harem forever. I closed the door, walked out of the apartment and didn't come back for a week. We never spoke of the incident. The bad part is that I think he HAD to use that device because I honestly don't think he could reach himself otherwise, due to his girth. I don't even know that he fit in the shower very well since it was just a small stall type shower. I don't know that he could ever get too clean down there, which may be why he always had that slight sour odor surrounding him, like some bizarre mixture of dried j*zz and apricots. The whole scene probably only lasted about 5-10 seconds, but it is forever imprinted on my brain. No amount of drinking that week erased it and I fear nothing ever will. My other roommate horror story happened during my last year of college, when three friends and I rented a house together, thinking it would be great. However, one friend bailed and moved back East at the last moment. He did, however, find a replacement, which was nice. Or so we thought. Her name was Heather, and she was the devil incarnate. She'd hoard dishes in her room, usually cereal bowls with an inch of milk in the bottom, stacked up 4-8 bowls tall and stuck together with the milk-gone-bad. Every time rent or any other bill was due she'd go to Santa Barbara for a week. It sucked. However, all of that paled in comparison to one particular offense. Heather and I shared a bathroom, which wasn't a big deal most of the time. However, one morning after waking up at 6:00AM to study a bit more for an 8:00AM genetics exam I went to take a shower, eyes still partially matted shut with sleep. I stuck my head under the water, trying to wake up a bit, giving it a nice soaking, and then reached over blindly for my shampoo bottle, which was on the window sill. I felt something damp and spongy at the base of my shampoo bottle, but ignored it for the moment, and continued with the hair washing ritual. Upon rinsing the shampoo out of my hair, eyes finally opening a bit, I glanced down to where I felt the strange object, and what do I see? A tampon. Used. On what appeared to be a heavy flow day. A thin trail of diluted uterine lining and blood trickled down the wall, onto the soap tray. I lost it. I grabbed the tampon by the string, marched into her room where she lay sleeping, and threw the vile object at her, barely missing and instead sticking to the wall next to her head. "Do you mind not leaving your ****ing tampons in the ****ing window of the shower we happen to share, you inconsiderate c***." I left, knocking over the leaning tower of cereal bowls on my way out. I went downstairs to the other bathroom to finish my shower. Two months later, the same ****ing thing happened again. I **** you not. We kicked her out the next day and got a new roommate the following week. Bad roommates suck ass.
For a summer, I once shared the upper story of a 5 bedroom house with a pair of Congolese immigrants and a single-mother (and her 18-month old daughter) Puerto Rican immigrant...non of which spoke very good English. What the **** was I thinking?
My roommate came back drunk, stripped down to his boxers, crawled into my bed and cuddled me while poking my a$$ with his penis. I woke up pissed off and pushed him onto the ground. Then he apologized and crawled to his bed and started flatulating ferociously while groaning. The smell of alcohol, fart and taco cabana lingered in the room. So i got up and opened the door in order to air out the place but ended up sleeping in the study lounge. Other times his frat buddies would 'pre-party' in our dorm room and go through my CDs and then leave them out of their cases and on the floor stacked and scratched. He would also drink my Snapples after he would come back from working out. So one day I urinated in a lemon snapple bottle and left it in the fridge. When i came back, he b****ed at me for leaving a bottle of urine in the fridge because he almost drank it. How rude of me.
My first roommate in college was a criminal justice major and he slept with his police scanner on all night long "in case something happened". He also had a huge boy scout banner that he hung in our window for everyone to see (and laugh at). I had to hang a poster of Stewart Copeland right next to it just to let people know that there was at least 1 cool person living in that room. He had a CB radio and he would constantly talk to his friends in the other dorm on it....in full CB language. "breaker breaker 1-9, you gotta 20 on that history final, come back!" It was like living in a perpetual showing of the movie Convoy. I used to ask him "why don't you just call him?" and he would just look at me with this confused look on his face - so I'd just let it go. Luckily, I quickly hooked up with a girl who had an apartment during summer band that year, so I rarely slept in my dorm.
In college I stayed in a dorm with the other roommates one year. There was two bedrooms and a shared bathroom and living room. Two of the guys where my close friends, but the other one was this freshman kid. Anyway, we all kept our computers in our rooms except foot for the freshman. He in insisted on keeping his computer in the living area. He would never clear his search or browsing history, so needlessly to say, that was always good for a laugh at his expense. Also, he once posted a picture on Facebook wearing a pair of boxers owned by the guy he shared a bedroom with.
Wow, you say you are not a girl,huh? Too many homo erotic things happen to ya. This and the cleaning up an old guys apartment in your underwear for money.yikes.
I thought he was the one his married his roommate after that incident. Guess I shouldn't read on my phone.
Fortunately it was just those two. Unless I'm subconsciously suppressing some other memories. The guy wasnt gay. He just thought I was his girlfriend because she was there earlier that day but forgot that she had gone back to nacogdoches(spelling?). Why he got into my bed? Well im assuming (in his inebriated state) he couldnt tell which side of the room was his. Needless to say I moved out of Jester the next semester.
Similar for me...roommate pussed in the corner of the room, fortunately it was on his side of the room. Talk about an awkward conversation the next day. A few weeks later I heard him jump out of be, which woke me up. I watched as he stumbled around the room. He stopped in the middle, stood still and the proceeded to drop Trou and squat down to take a dump. At that point I yell at him "Hey! What the F are you doing?!". He replied back with " going to the bathroom, is that ok". I said " yeah, but take that **** to the bathroom". Luckily he did
I remember my first roommate was a Russian guy. What really annoyed me about him was that sometimes our AC would breakdown in our apartment and this dude would be walking shirtless. This dude had horrible armpit smell. He would concentrate the whole ****ing apartment with his stench.
Not my story, but freshman year I lived in a coed dorm. There was this female Bulgarian student in the girls wing whose showering habits were not satisfactory. The entire girls wing of the second floor smelled of B.O. Eventually the ladies and the R.A. had to have a long talk with her. Too bad cause she was kinda cute.
