Maybe I didn't make it clear what I had mixed feeling about. I'm concerned about the retaliation of the bully's buddies. As I said earlier, I like hearing all the viewpoints before I make a decision, but ultmately, the decision will lie with me and my wife.
Supervise the hallways? the bathrooms? the cafeteria? behind the buildings? the parking lots? the bus stops? teachers can't be everywhere. I applaud your son for standing up for himself IF the situation called for it, but he broke the rules, and ISS is his concequences.
Very good point and very true. I forgot to mention that my wife is a teacher at the same school, and has already gotten all the info from the principal. She emailed me the info. Good point though. I can't belive I forgot to put that in.
Supervise the PE area. That is what the PE teacher should do while teaching PE class. That is where the incident occured. During PE class.
I think it is important that you have taught your child to stand up for himself, rather than just to take the bullying. Fighting isn't really the ideal way to handle problems, but if the other kid was being a real dick, I think he got what he deserved.
I work in cy-fair and we have huge classes so things do get missed. My favorite thing lately was we got a letter fro ma parent. Sayign she will take legal action against the school if we do not give her child a new uniform. Her child lost his lock and never reported it so no one knew it happened. The bad thing is the child told his mom he did not know who his coach was and we have been in school since august. You go with the same coach for roll call and different lessons. the mother believed this and tried to get the coach in trouble.
That's not my point. So you're saying that fight would not have happened if the teacher had been paying attention? And what if he was? What should your son have done if a bully was pushing him around in plain view of a teacher who was trying to get control of the situation? Should your son have stood up for himself then? My point is that these types of fights can happen anywhere, anytime, in view of any teacher. Just because no one saw this one makes it alright to fight? And to be clear, I'm glad your son did what he needed to do. Bullies suck, and need to be put in their place. If that means breaking the rules, you better be prepared to suffer the consequences.
I would like to know how big are the classes usually at your sons school. I just would like to know this because we have over 150 at a time regularly with two maybe three coaches. You could turn your back supervising and something behind you could occur. You were still doing your job supervising but remember you just have two eyes
RL, I know how you feel. I've done PE and Athletics in the gym and open area, and English in the classrooms. Rainy days, with 150 kids between 4 coaches or less is no fun, but if each coach manages a section, it is manageable. The key word is classroom management.
I don't know what the bullying policies are in your son's school, but I would demand that the principal discuss this incident with bully and his parents. It should be made clear that any future acts of bullying will have severe consequences (suspension, expulsion, whatever). If they're going to have a no-tolerance rule for fighting, then they should have the same for bullying. If the school refuses to meet with the bully and his parents, then I would challenge your son's punishment.
The fight had time to escalate from the kid calling my boy names, to him shoving him around enough to piss him off and retaliate. If the teacher had been paying attention, it never would have gotten to that point. If the teacher was taking action, then of course, my son would have been expected to back off and let the teacher handle it. Not alright to fight, but defineitely alright to defend himself.
I guess I'm not understanding your concerns. He fought in school, fighting is against the rules, so he should get punished. Correct? Because your post said: "The question I have is do I let the school stick him in ISS for defending himself, or do I fight it(no pun intended)?" Back to my original question...what if the same scenario had occured in a bathroom? No supervision in there. You can't blame the teacher for not supervising. If that's where the fight occurs, should he be punished?
This is simply a case of nonfeasance. I'm not going to get drawn into a hypothetical "What if the teacher sneezed and he got punched?" The facts are that, with a PE teacher present, there should be reasonable supervision and the PE teacher was not supervising. If this happens in the restroom, I'll adress that hypothetical situation at that time.
Well, as long as he understands that this is acceptable when defending, not provoking, then that's all that matters... Whether there is support or documentation that they knew of the bully is irrelevant...Fight the school as this is in self defence... btw, give the kid a high five for me...
So, to clarify If your son is getting bullied and retaliates with a punch when there is a teacher present but not doing his job, then your son should not get in trouble because the teacher should not have allowed the situation to escalate to that point. OK But I ask again (last time)...should he get in trouble if this had occurred outside of teacher supervision? I don't see anyway possible for there to be two different answers to those two questions.
And FT, just so you know, I've been thru this twice with my 16 year old. Both times he knew he was in trouble, but he also knew that the bullying had to be stopped. And it was. He said so himself...one day of ISS was worth it.
I would go with my son to the school, demand a meeting and discuss the situation. Then I would have my son leave the room and talk about punishment etc. If, after the discussion, there is still some punishment to happen, support it WITH THE SCHOOL. I don't think one day of ISS is that big of a deal, and just tell him you understand he had to do it, but he knows the consequences. As for your son, tell him that violence is a last resort, but to NEVER let people push him around. He should have told the teachers, but maybe he could not get to them. My oldest popped a guy in the eye at 4 years old in pre school because he was pushed to the ground....the Teachers all saw my boy do it, and they let it happen, and without punishment because they knew that older boy was a notorious bully. Well, that kid stopped bullying from that day forward. PLAYGROUND JUSTICE BABY !! I am still proud of that day. DD
Just found out that the little **** would not let my boy get up to go tell the coach, who was TOO busy talking to a female paraprofessional to notice that it was literally a small gang of kids getting into a rumble. 6 kids involved. I AM going in tomorrow and I will keep my cool, but I will be giving the administrators a piece of my mind.
Fight it you kid did nothing wrong and I would not want him to think he did which is what this would be saying to him If you want this to be 'protective' custody to keep the bully from retaliation . .that is what I would stress to the Teachers to look for it and tell ya kid to smack him again, if need be Rocket River you must speak to a person in the language they understand
