The shirt off with a dump is a new one. I'll do that occasionally, but never in a public place. Sometimes when the **** is like a multi-part "my entire lifes worth of food has come out" type of deal, I'll just pull my pants off and have at it.
The worst accident I have ever had was getting schytte on my index finger.... but I never called that chick again. Why is your wrist up your a**hole, dude?
This is no joking matter. I once worked with a guy who either sharted or didn't wipe well enough. Once *someone* nicknames you "Big Dookie" in the work place, that doesn't go away until you find another job.
Were you wiping your butt or drilling for oil? As for going or no going at work, obviously the mind does not want the hassle, but the bowels don't have any hang ups, they just do their thing.
I usually take two craps/day. I can't imagine having to only use my home toilet. I'd never get anything done. My bowels are like a fuggin' machine.
Are you serious? Taking dumps at work makes perfect sense. Essentially, you're getting paid to make sea turtles, and the TP is of no cost to you.
dude, how is it getting all over your sleeve? If you had pressurized liquid contents in there and things were not pretty, then carefully apply a big wad of TP to the very outside of things first and work from there. Your sleeve is not TP... don't blame you for doing it at work - seriously, better than carrying it around inside you all day, and besides that's on someone else's TP and water bills... but looks like you'll have to invest in a bunch of brown shirts.
Yeah, I have a couple of French-cuff shirts I wear at work every once in a while (even though we're business casual); and the first thing I do on the John is take out the cuff and roll-up the sleeve.
And get a couple of those Tide-to-Go sticks; they actually work pretty well without you having to even take your shirt off. Most of time I have to use one just jab it onto my chest, harakiri style.
all jokes aside, I think I would have just got some scissors cut the sleeves off, and maybe used a stapler to fold the sleeve up so it didnt look bad.
Am I the only one that thought back to the Patrick Dempsey classic "Can't Buy Me Love?" scene where he (Patrick) is trying to apologize at an arcade for a prior "flaming bag of crap on the house porch" incident he helped perpetrate with his new cool crowd friends against nerd buddy. The nerd buddy goes "You crapped on my house, man!". "You crapped on my sleeve, man!" "I'm sorry. I'm incontinent. It just happened!" By the way, that's gross dude.
He said <b>" How do you wipe with a stick and not get it everywhere?" </b> He also said that guy is like 400 lbs, maybe he is too fat to reach his butt area without the help of the ruler. ACK...... don't want to have that image in my head. *lol*
