Area Man Has Great Idea For Slam Dunk

Mr. Brightside · May 25, 2008

Rosenwald urges any NBA players interested in using his dunk idea to start practicing in time for the playoffs.

May 24, 2008

TORRINGTON, WY—Local export licenser Andy Rosenwald, 47, announced Monday that he recently came up with a revolutionary new idea for a slam dunk, and that he is willing to share the idea with any professional basketball player who would like to perform it.

"I'm sitting on a gold mine here," said Rosenwald, who reportedly conceived of the dunk while watching NBA highlights on SportsCenter last week. "I saw guys doing other dunks, and this one just popped into my head. I was like, hey, that's pretty good."

Since then, Rosenwald has focused on getting the word out about his dunk idea, admitting that it is "not doing any good just sitting here" in his Torrington home.

"I'm just the idea man," said Rosenwald, noting that he himself is unable to dunk a basketball.

According to Rosenwald's descriptions and several crude sketches made on looseleaf paper, the dunk involves the player running toward the hoop, tossing the basketball off the backboard, jumping up while spinning around 180 degrees in midair, and catching the ball above his head while his back is facing the hoop. At this point, Rosenwald said, it gets a little tricky. The player, still in the air, must then palm the ball with his right hand, transfer it behind his back to his left hand, and, upon completing his full 360-degree spin, dunk the ball over the left side of the rim.

"You could call it the Whirly Bird," Rosenwald said.

Rosenwald is offering the idea free of charge and accepting all serious requests. He said that if any NBA players are interested in using his dunk, or want to talk to him further about it in person, they should contact him immediately.

"It would be perfect for Michael Jordan, but he's retired, so I wouldn't mind giving it to a guy like LeBron James or Karl Malone," Rosenwald said. "Preferably someone good, because it's pretty hard."

After coming up with the framework for the dunk, Rosenwald reportedly spent a few minutes each day tweaking it and mapping it out to make sure the move was feasible.

"I tried it in slow motion with a balled-up sock and my hamper," he said. "It works."

"It's all about going up, under, and around, and then in," added Rosenwald, who then demonstrated the dunk's feasibility by standing on his tiptoes, grabbing the top of his bedroom door frame with both hands, and excitedly saying, "Slam."

Although Rosenwald admitted the dunk is probably best suited for an official slam-dunk contest, he said it would be "very cool" to see it performed during a live NBA game.

"If it was in a game, the guy could, instead of tossing the ball off the backboard, he could bounce it really hard through the other guy's legs," Rosenwald said. "I think the fans would enjoy that."

Rosenwald also said it would be preferable if, as the player slammed the ball through the hoop, he pointed to the cameras and shouted "Rosenwald!" or "Rosenwald, baby!" to give him credit for the idea, but noted that it would not be necessary.

"The real reward would be seeing a dunk I invented on the highlight reel," Rosenwald said. "The SportsCenter guy could say 'cool as the other side of the pillow' for it."

If NBA players enjoy this idea and begin using the dunk in regular season and playoff games, Rosenwald said he has "plenty more where that came from." He has already been mentally workshopping several other dunks, including one in which the player throws a "really high" alley-oop to himself, one in which the player spins the ball on his finger before dunking it, and one where the player uses one hand to do a "backwards dunk" through the bottom of the net, then grabs it with his other hand and slams it back down.

Rosenwald also recently came up with what he has termed a "cool dribble move," which involves the player pretending to go one way, then bouncing the ball off his knee in the opposite direction.

"I'm not sure if it's legal to hit the ball with your knee," Rosenwald said. "Maybe the Harlem Globetrotter guys would like that one."

In the meantime, Rosenwald remains committed to not letting his dunk idea go to waste.

"I told the idea to my son, and I think he thought it was pretty cool," he said. "Maybe he could tell it to his [Torrington Junior High j.v. basketball] coach, who maybe has connections to the NBA. Then this idea can finally get off the ground."
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http://tinyurl.com/563au2

Asian Sensation · May 25, 2008

http://www.erichufschmid.net/Dumb-down/super-r****d.JPG

LoveRoxHateJazz · May 25, 2008

"It would be perfect for Michael Jordan, but he's retired, so I wouldn't mind giving it to a guy like LeBron James or Karl Malone," Rosenwald said. "Preferably someone good, because it's pretty hard."
Click to expand...

Has this guy seen an NBA event in the last 5 years? He probably hasn't seen the dunk contest since 96.

Putting that ringless Jazzhole on the same level as Michael Jordan is a slap in the face.

I bet it's probably just a 360 with your hands flapping like a bird, or a 360 double clutch.

WhoMikeJames · May 25, 2008

Can I get the name of that newspaper/website/author of that article. One of the dumbest articles I've ever read. The picture finished it off.

I wonder what he did. "Hi, yes I've got this AMAZING idea about a slam dunk and i would like to do an interview about it."

"HOLY ****, we are sending a journalist now!".

Ziggy · May 25, 2008

My idea was better. For this years game it would involve Drew Brees passing a football 94ft to the player for an alley-oop. The QB throwing the pass depends on where the game is held. There. I win.

OrangeRowdy95 · May 25, 2008

This is stupid. I have an entire document of original dunks I've come up with. A reporter should come visit me.

Apollo Creed · May 25, 2008

This is from the Onion or something, right?

Either way it still gave me a chuckle.

SamFisher · May 25, 2008

^If I knew posting non-linked Onion articles would elicit this reaction I would have done it a lot more often myself.

krnxsnoopy · May 25, 2008

He also gave Baron Davis the idea of the wastebasket 3 pointer competition while sitting on a couch.

Lil Pun · May 25, 2008

Link?

Yaozer · May 25, 2008

I could definitely see Karl doing this. Yes... he's the guy for this type of dunk.

Cannonball · May 25, 2008

Lil Pun said:

Link?
Click to expand...

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/area_man_has_great_idea_for_slam

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Area Man Has Great Idea For Slam Dunk

Mr. Brightside Contributing Member

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