More things is a trap. There are some things that make us satisfied, like an initial purchase of a large screen TV, but the thinking goes that a larger screen will make us more happy. If you think of Pavlov's dog, buying more things is just the ringing of the bell. What made us hungry in the first place was that sensation of newness or discovery. That, you can't put a price on. Well...rich people do, but it's not like normal or poor people can't feel the same way.
People don't realize that happiness is just a state of mind. You don't need any material things to get that state of mind. You can just be happy for the sake of being happy.
I am not truly happy. Have not been for quite some time, and projected arrival at happiness looks quite dim. Life is basically...surrounding yourself with enough daily distraction that keeps you from wondering and pondering life's direction...(I mean, do you REALLY WANT to know the meaning of life? The definition of happiness?) Happiness is partly identifying with something, so that you have a sense of purpose in your existence... I say just get the wife/husband and kids already so at the very least you're not "alone"...so you can forgo you're own pursuit of happiness and live it vicariously through others
Theres times I'm truly happy, other times I'm happy but so worried knowing any moment my happiness could be stripped away from me... sometimes I'm scared that-that worry of losing my happiness will in-return eat at me if my happiness is stripped away for the fact I didn't appreciate it when I had it because I was to busy worrying about losing it. Does any of that make sense?
I'll be happy when this semester is over and I'm chilling on the Miami beach with my friends in May. Sidenote: I'm very fortunate to have an amazing family, for being in good health and shape, to have friends that I know I can depend on, and being able to get this far in my life and on the right path to a successful future. I think when you learn to not take things for granted and appreciate life more is when you can maximize your happiness.
I've wondered if I'm happy several times over the years and have come to the conclusion I am. The only things I have left to really do in life are building a custom house on several acres in the country to get away from city living (except for Internet and cable/satellite... gotta have that. *ahem*) and just relax for the first time in my life, visit Egypt and other parts of Africa, and start doing volunteer work. I'm an old fart now (37) and can't believe I was only around 28-29 when I started coming to this forum. I look back and realize I sacrificed my 20's and gave up on a lot of stuff "normal" people did (the partying, getting drunk, etc.), but for myself, I think it's been worth it. I don't think marriage is for me... kids almost definitely not... so those aren't a big deal to me, and I sure don't want to make the mistake of experiencing those things simply because others do it. Among the craziest things that make me happy is to listen to old people (60+ year olds) talk about their lives - their mistakes, happy times, misery, etc., so maybe that's another thing I can add that to my list of things to do - visit old folks homes and yap with the elderly. Yup... I'm a simple guy... lol... Despite all this, in the back of my mind, I know when my parents pass away, I will re-evaluate this question and ask myself if I'm lying to myself saying that I'm truly happy.
HEY, i enjoy doing this too, but i'm still in my 20's. actually, i've always did this ever since i was in my teens. it's interesting listening to their life experiences. not only do you learn from them, they also enjoy having company and it brings a smile to their face.
I'm pretty happy. I don't worry about if I was happy yesterday or if I am going to be happy tomorrow. If I am happy right now, then I am doing ok.
That's good advice, but what do you suggest for summer? Because, from what I've been led to believe, there ain't no cure for the summertime blues.
Well put...respect. I've been battling depression most of my adult life. I was waiting for that elusive thing that was supposed to magically make life work. The last few I've been really distant from life...I was locked up in an apartment with Townes Van Zandt records, reading Bukowski and fantacized about the whole self-destructive hobo-saint thing. I was obsessed with the whole Hank Williams myth. It makes for good poetry, but a book of poems doesn't make a life whole, and god knows it doesn't attract any woman any guy would ever want to be with. I managed to keep my job and show up for classes at the university...but you know the mind kept wandering and focusing on all the things I didn't have. Lately I've got into meditation and I think it's helping to keep my mind clear and focused on what I really want to be doing, and being around the people that make me feel good. To be honest life is crap right now I have no ID, my visa is expired, the ATM swallowed my credit card, I have to work in a cafe because I can't seem to get the ISP to move my line, I can't pay tuition, etc, etc. I'm a country and blues singer in Tel Aviv. No punchline needed there. But my ability to laugh about it I think matters more. I've felt worse when I had trophy girlfriends and money in the bank, you know? I can't say life is boring. Willie Nelson wrote in his autobiography that once he gave up smoking and heavy drinking and cocaine and all the craziness and started living healthy and running every day he began to enjoy music more and enjoy his life more. I think that says a lot. The guy is past 70 and still touring, still writing songs, still smiling. I still haven't let go completely...I think I'm still trying too hard, but I'm not expecting it to happen overnight.
Let me rephrase. I've came to the conclusion that people won't be TRULY happy because their priorities keep changing throughout their lives. I've always been happy but there would be times that I wish I did this and that. There are so many things I still want to do. I believe that I won't be really content with life until my 30's when I've done everything in my 20's.
You will never be totally content, IMO, that is what life is about, the next big adventure or journey. Why sit around and be happy? Too much to do...but you can enjoy the ride, which upon reading it seems people like D.o.D have figured out.... DD
I'm truly happy. I have sooooo many problems, I won't even waste my time listing them. But thankfully, they're all small compared to whats really important. I'm alive and healthy. I have both my parents, 10 siblings, 27 nieces and nephews, and 1 wonderful boyfriend, all that keep my heart filled with love every single day. And really seeing them happy is what makes me happy.
The happiest people I know do the following things: 1. Surround themselves with family and friends who love them. 2. Live within their means.
You need to learn how gain happiness from the journey. How my priorities change have nothing to do with my happiness as long as I know what those priorities are. I don't think you can ever be happy unless you realize what makes you tick and what is important to you, and those things need to be realistic. If they are not, you need to adjust.
