I am not happy with my life. I feel like I am in the groundhog day sometimes too. Or it's more like a cycle... always going back and forth the same places. I am definitely looking for changes. I like changes. It really collect my energy and makes me focus. It musters up stuff inside that you dont' know you have. I feel so tied up by some messy personal relationships. I am working on a mster degree now, would be done in a year, if things don't get better, I am getting out of town and turning back this time. I hope things get better for you.
Actually, I feel like my life is getting better and better. 2005 was a really, REALLY difficult year, but things are gradually improving.
I guess I'm pretty happy with my life right now. I'm a homeowner, I max out my 401K, car note is paid, I'm playing in a fun (and profitable) band, great family, I guess I can't really complain. I like my job, although there was a big layoff scare a few months ago. The scare is over but it just showed me that you can never get too comfortable. Layoffs could still happen and eventually they probably will, but because of the scare, I now have a plan B to fall back on. If...no when it happens I'll just use the severence package during my transition to teaching and playing full time instead of part time. Until that happens, I'm just going to keep on truckin'. One thing that bothers me is that most of my friends are now married with children. I can't figure out if it's depressing because that's what I want or because that's what I'm supposed to want and really don't. But I'll figure that out eventually. I just hope it won't be too late...
Change can be a good thing it's the uncertainty that can be a pain. I lost my job in october, but I wasn't happy there so I wasn't as depressed as I normally would have been. The waiting for my new job was more difficult to deal with. I try not get to down because I know that if the sh$t ever hit the fan I know I can go home to my family and plan what to do next.
There is plenty of time to do that stuff. No shame in putting it off a while. You can always get older later, you know. Those things may well come in time, when you're ready (odds are they will happen, just maybe not as early in life for you). Much better than trying to force yourself into that role when it's just not time for you. as for me... I'm at a pretty weird crossroads right now. My life here is actually fairly comfortable in a lot of ways, but it's not forever. I think I got on the wrong side of some people at work, and resigned my position a while back - it's not fair, but no use fighting it when the powers that be are exactly that. I also had the rest of this school year to keep working and decide what I want to do. One reason I let this happen was that: (believe it or not - trust me, I know this) -I'm not a science person. I don't care if I do have a doctorate in it. I don't have the necessary passion for it. I can do decently teaching intro chemistry to nonmajors or lower-level students, but I'll never be good at the upper level stuff or the research. Nor do I want to be. There's a lot more to life than the laboratory. -My music means so much to me that it was getting to be more than just a part-time hobby. I was essentially trying to be two people. Right now, since at least they cut me back to a normal size teaching load, I: play percussion in the local orchestra, play keyboard in the school band, sing (or attempt to) in the school choir, play piano for the worship team/ chapel services, and do piano accompaniment for voice students. I'm jealous of the music majors getting to study it and take it seriously. I've known this for over two years now, so maybe I should take this opportunity to go back to school somewhere and study Music Education. I might, because I just can't stand to get another full-time faculty position and pretend to want something I don't want. (teaching a chemistry course here or there is fine, though) I know part of me just wants to be a student and never got out of student mode. Oh well, I tried to be a good little grown-up for a while, at least. My friends are mostly younger. Which is cool. I enjoy all my music ensembles and my friends here, though I'll probably have to move soon. And my personal life... OK, it was bad for a long time. There may be hope of it getting better, though it's hard to disentangle myself. Actually, funny that came up. I may give that stuff its own thread so as not to hijack yours.
I'm not really happy with the situation I'm in right now at home. Everthing else, I'm very content with. I'm very satisfied with the direction my life seems to be headed, though. I'm 18, and I'm trying to get into a program, which I feel I have a good chance at getting in to, that would put me in the work force a little before I turn 21. Relationship-wise, I feel I'm about as content as any kid my age can be, and I'm definitely looking forward to what that brings. Like I said, I'm just not all that content with the home situation, and I'm not really too fond of the college job making subs. That, I can manage, though.
ive been suffering since i was born. in short, im unhappy. only time im happy is when im working on some cute chick or getting her p****.
Too be very honest, my life was wonderfully wonderful until I got addicted to the Houston Rockets. Now, I need to get rid of it from my life. It sounds brutal, but it might be something I will have to do. I love sports and this team, however, it has taken too much of my time, energy and life away. I need to regain the focus on more important things.
Manny -- I just moved to Chicago after 16 years in Houston (I'm 25) and am feeling better about life than I have in a long time. I was kinda where you were at for years...waking up everyday to the same day, with same problems, the same darkness, with solutions apparent. When people told me that I needed to move, I always replied that you cannot run from your problems, that the root is within ourselves. It never dawned on me what impact placing myself into a new culture, into a new enviroment would have. Everyday I wake up here seems different, like it has the potential to swing anyways, good or bad. I can't say that moving fixed what's broken in me but it has definetly rejuvenated me and made me feel more capable of living than I have in a long time. Thats my positive move story. ) Hope that helps.
Gosh, you guys are depressing. I like life. It's a nice arrangement. Manny, You are my boy, and so here is my advice to you - you totally should move. Change is invigorating and new challenges give you a.) something to do and b.) something to look back on with pride and the ability to say "I gave this my best shot." I think you'll love it. And if not, you can always slink back home with your tail betwixt your nethers, right?
Manny, I am truly sorry to hear about your troubles. You seem like a real "heart on your sleeves" type of guy, and I wish you the best. Happiness, happiness, wow, that is a tough one. I tend to think people's personalities allow them to enjoy life, or drive them crazy thinking it is never enough. Personally, I have sold 2 companies, am President of another, yet, I am completely disgusted with the company I work for...I see so many unutilized opportunities, and feel disenchanted. However, at home, my life is outsanding, I have a wonderful wife and 2 great boys. I live in a great neighborhood, my house is completely paid for and I could probably retire today (though not as a world traverer, which I want). I think sometimes we focus too much on the negative and not enough on the positive. I am seriously guilty of this.... I think sometimes it is more important to take stock in what we have, and not what we want, and evaluate from that position. But, I am not the type that is ever truly satisfied, until about the 3rd or 4th day on vacation, then...I want to hang out forever, and do no work at all.....but it is just about then my kids come in and I am reminded how much college is going to cost.. UGH !! Good luck to you Manny, you deserve happines......and not on a putt putt course. DD
I'm not happy either Manny. I'm about to defend my PhD thesis in biochemistry, but I feel like all my hard work is not going to pay off. I've applied to several companies but haven't even gotten a response. I've paid a lot of tuition and spent very long hours in the lab, incurring sizeable student loans. I haven't had much of a personal life because of it. I'll most likely have to take a post-doctoral position which usually don't pay much, so I'll still be driving my 13-year old car around for the next few years. Oh yeah, I've been so busy in the lab, I only had one girlfriend all through graduate school. She dumped me two years ago, and I haven't had another since. I hope things change after February, because by then I will have defended my thesis, and hopefully will have some free time to do things I enjoy.
There are some pretty nice postdocs out there. Some of them pay pretty well. It seems to just be the way it is that most companies want you to have postdoc experience. After one of those, you'll have a lot easier time. And get out of the lab more. (I would say join the dark side... get out of the lab forever... but I'm assuming you're more of a science person than I turned out to be.) And... what kind of grad school are you in where you're incurring loans? I thought, in biochemistry, most everyone got assistantships that covered everything. That was one of the nice things about it: more like having a job, low-paying but with flexible hours, and after a few years you get a Ph.D.
I've been a little surprised at the disparity in postdoc salary. Most of my colleagues who are postdocs are paid 30-35k. But there are a few places where the pay or benefits are much greater. I guess maybe I over-valued my training. I thought being a protein crystallographer would be much more desirable. We do get paid, but it's not much, and we had to pay tuition and health insurance out of it (not covered by the university at the time). I got student loans because I was barely scraping by the first two years without them, and much prefer student loans to credit card debt. I moved to Houston a couple months ago, so it'll be better here than where I was before. But I don't have much free time right now to enjoy it. As for leaving science completely, I'd consider it if I had a good alternative. I'm a little burned out by it now. Not a great sign if I do a post-doc next.
Mack, I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. I was in grad school once upon a time (trying to get a MS in mathematics) and I never even went through the oral exams (saw no point since my GPA was below a 3.0). I am just glad that phase of my life is over. I talked to an old friend last night and I felt a little better. He is single but has become content in it and told me that he would like to get married some day but he is not looking to jump into anything right now. I still wouldn't mind moving to either Murfreesboro (really has grown in the last couple of years) or Huntsville, Alabama. My company has an office in Houston, too, so who knows? Maybe I need to move to Houston. But seriously, thanks for the responses, guys, it has helped. I believe that no one is truly happy because we always have something in our lives which we wish was different, but it just seems that some people have less things to worry about compared to others. I'll keep everyone posted on what happens tomorrow.
DD what's up with Gizmondo ~ to be honest i'm not hearing good things. Do you think it's going to pull through?
