I think this is the fundamental difference in opinion here. There is one side that generally cares about their neighbours and the well being of others, and then there is another group like you and the OP who basically say **** the world. I only care about myself, my kin and my ilk. It is people like you who add to the growing sense of lack of community that has grown in America over the past 30 years. When you don't care for anybody other then your own, the world becomes a much lonelier place for all. This person wasn't even a random stranger, but rather someone who lives in the same neighborhood, and even shares the same fence. This has practical effect as well. For example, now imagine if the OP has his house burglarized and the black lady applicant observes this criminal activity. I think she might be a little reluctant to call and report this to anyone. I think then the OP would probably have felt- taking an additional minute out of his blueberry planting session would have been wise.
and its people like who make people like me wonder about people like you... the woman asked for a REFERRAL.....those are gotten from people WHO KNOW YOU...not from people who see you everyday walking your dog, mowing your yard, feeding your fish but from actual people who KNOW WHO YOU ARE. ROX didnt know the woman....period. Is he supposed to write a referrence about a person because she lives close to him??? You are way off base here.
I don't think it was a full blown reference. According to the OP, it was just something to say that she didn't throw loud parties. Sounds kind of odd, but it is Metro... If she doesn't throw parties loud enough for him to hear, what's the problem in signing something that says that? Now if this was some kind of full-blown character reference, then I take back everything I said.
exactly...and i'm not sure why people are talking about him "signing" something. the point of a referral is to actually verify it, not simply take a signed document and assume it's legit. I just dont see this as her not respecting his privacy...it's more about one person being more friendly/casual than the other. She didnt go into a fenced yard to look for him, she didnt walk in through an unlocked door. she can literally see him from her own property and there's no fence in between. For her to go to the front door she'd have to go around the block. Seems easy enough to just cross over the yard and i dont see the problem in that when he's already there and she's not destroying his property/plants.
Do you come off as the ugly neighbor? Maybe, but that's just because she is pissed you didn't sign her paper. Were you in the wrong or was it a dick move? No.
He's a dick for saying no? He didn't cuss her out. He didn't belittle her. He didn't insult her in the least. He is well within his rights to answer a question or request as he see's fit. Roxran, unless you know you were wrong, do what you think you need to do to either make it right or move on. I wouldn't dwell on it too much. She shouldn't have snuck up behind you. Big no no. maybe she will learn something from this. Hell, if it happened to me, I would have told her "No, I am not going to sign this and I don't appreciate you coming up behing me without announcing yourself. I may have looked at your paper if you had simply been more considerate in your approach." Now THAT would be a dick move, but I think the bigger dick move is sneaking up on someone unannounced. It's ridiculous how much pressure there is to say "yes", just to be a "nice guy". I can't help but laugh at the comments and innuendos of racism. This coming from the forum that stereotypes posts as Hispanic, Black, White, and Oriental/Asian
Yes he is. He's not signing a paper that says he guarantee she has never committed a crime and is a hard worker He's just signing a paper that says she doesn't throw loud parties. Who else but your close neighbors can sign that? Unless the OP neglected a whole lot of information, but just going by what he wrote, yea he's a dick.
LOL. Some of you all need to find out what being a dick really is. Don't sweat it ROXRAN. I would be willing to bet money many of those calling you out would not give this lady the time of day if she came to their door or she approached them on the sidewalk.
Oh boy, you sure convinced a lot of people with this post full of...reasons and explanations and...periods
I don't have to convince anyone. It's funny how people like you think I care what you think. When you grow up, you'll learn to think for yourself.
True, you don't have to convince anyone. It's your right not to. However, if you don't offer explanations, you look opinionated and ignorant. Look at the situation logically. The neighbor will definitely get those signatures. OP has nothing to lose by signing it, and in doing so, will put himself on good terms with a cop. But instead, he tells the neighbor he has the right to say "no"? Is that how to cultivate good relationships? He's effectively saying, "I have no reason not to help; I just don't want to." He could've declined, but there were much better ways of doing so. If it were me, I'd personally apologize and buy the neighbor a housewarming gift (maybe a wine/cheese basket or something).
Dude, I'm just saying, if one of my neighbors ask me to sign something that would help them out, I read, I sign. No big deal. I don't care if I've never and talked to the person. It's just being courteous.
