I think it was inappropriate for her to enter your back yard without notice, that's a private space, your reaction was protective. Ring the front doorbell. Leave a note in the mailbox. And you don't owe her a signature certifying something you don't know anything about. If a badged investigator wants to ask you exactly what you know, then you have an obligation to the public to be truthful and complete. You shouldn't just sign anything, for anybody.
If he goes to her house, he must offer to sign. Simple as that. To approach her about it and then refuse to sign again just makes the situation worse. Better to leave bad-enough alone than to take the risk.
What if she had been white and attractive? Would you have signed then? If race isn't an issue for you, then why does it stand out in your post? It doesn't seem really relevant. It's just a neighbor applying for a job and wanting a neighborhood reference that she isn't a disruptive neighbor. P.S. Please leave me your Gran Torino when you pass. Thanks.
White and attractive,. . of course I'd sign up whatever...J/K. Nope the reason I stated her race was because I do see neighbors at the house almost daily that are hispanic. Nothing wrong with a multi-racial family household. For all I know she may be a girlfriend, renting or a part of the hispanic people living there that I do see almost daily. I don't really speak to them compared to the other neighbors...It's the sudden out of no where of this. I never see her and for her to approach me when never once they approached me to say hello..uh no. The other neighbors ARE friendly AND I know them. If THEY asked me, I would be more cooperative and understanding... P.S. Get off my lawn!
I mean, you have the right to say no it's not like she was working for the Census. You probably could have handled it differently, from my experience having good neighbors and connections is a great thing. You might be deemed an ******* or whatever but like I said that is your right.
LOL, just because you notice someone's race doesn't automatically make you a RACIST. Gotta love Clutchfans... Anyway, once I saw that she did indeed live in the house behind me, I would have gone over there, knocked on her door, apologized profusely, and told her I'd be happy to help her out. I would have made up a story about how a salesman approached me the same way a few weeks ago and that's why I acted like that towards her. Let down your guard and laugh about it. It's always a good idea to stay on your neighbor's good side(s). Nothing can can **** up the sanctity of your home like an escalating dispute with a neighbor.
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I don't want to get too "D&D" on this, but... When there's no fence, it's all the more reason to respect his space. She should have, at the very least, announced her presence instead of sneaking up on him. Introducing yourself is part of being a good neighbor. Heck, it's just plain common courtesy. To just start your conversation with "I need this, please sign it" is, at the very least, a bit self-centered, and at worst, downright rude. She's asking him to do her a favor: would it kill her to be a bit more considerate? But that's just it: he said he's only seen her there once before. He doesn't know if she really lives there. Or if she's really quiet. To sign a paper stating otherwise would be lying. I believe ROXRAN stated that he could see that others were home at the time. She could have left the child. If not, then she should have chosen another time to approach him about this. Any time you're asked to vouch for someone else's character, it is a big deal. If a signature was required on any document, it's an even bigger deal. She's asking for him to prove that she's a good neighbor when she hasn't even been a good enough neighbor to introduce herself to him, get to know him, etc. I can totally see him not wanting to vouch for her.
ROXXY - I think I was initially focused on your reaction, rather than potential reasons for your reaction. I say this primarily after reading page 4, in which several great points were made. You're under no real obligation here to make amends. While you could have handled it differently yourself, she could have handled things differently from the get-go, too. That said, if you should decide to extend the olive branch, then I'd go with what I and several others initially suggested. If you decide not to, then I don't think you're necessarily in the wrong. If you go over there and find that what she wants you to sign requires you to have knowledge of her and her character, you obviously can't sign that and to turn her down again wouldn't help matters. Now that I've given this more thought, the whole sequence was a really odd way for her to handle this from the beginning...."Hi. You don't know me. Sign this?" Strange.
Do this (because as you said, you initially posted this because you FELT bad) and let us know how it goes.
Let me understand this..... you dont know her and she walks up to you and asks you to give her a good referrence to get a job in law enforcement and people here are saying that you should have been nice because the economy sucks? Are you kidding me? You did the right thing by nicely blowing her off
Bingo. She should have established some kind of familiarity before she asks you for a reference. From what you posted if he had come up to the FRONT DOOR rang the door bell (without her kid) and introduced herself as your neighbor when she moved in, then this conversation would have been way less awkward and would have turned out differently. It is the equivalent of some random stranger contacting me via linked in and asking me for a reference.
