You're out of the friendship circle of people with kids. These people now associate with other people with kids. Once you become a parent, your desire to go out is pretty much diminished. What are you doing on New Years eve? Staying home.
Just when I thought the old days were gone forever, a good friend of mine moved back to Houston. We both went to U.T. and although he is now married, he missed the old days, as well. Long story short, he bought a condo at the Railyard in Austin and turned it into a party pad. His wife will go up there with her friends and the guys will go up on other weekends. Nothing really changes. Open the door after 2am and people just wander in with beer. Ahh, the glory years. They can be relived.
ima, You know how much I enjoy reading your stuff here and I can perfectly identify with you on this and in a lot of other things, as well. I know that your post was more about partying and how your friends from college don't seem to be the way that they used to be, but I couldn't help but detect some wistfulness in your initial post. I also have read in the past about your frustrations of being single and reading that post reminded me of it. I don't normally do this because I find it, truthfully, to be obnoxious but I think a lot of you (which I don't know what that says about me considering I have never met you in real life, heh). This may be too personal for you, but what is your spiritual life like? Are you a Christian? A buddhist? Or do you practice another religion or not at all? The reason why I ask is I want to share a story (warning - it may bore some of the people here). I am 30 years old and have been a Christian since I was 16. However, I was one that would show up at church every Sunday but never "got it". Then one day about 3 to 4 months ago, my church did this program called "40 Days of Purpose - A Purpose-Driven Life". We received this book that was written by a guy named Rick Warren: It was one to be read in 40 days as it has 40 short chapters. Let me tell you something - it was a real eye-opener to read it. I learned that my relationship with God was at times, non-existant. I also learned that I rarely ever, put my trust and faith in Him. Now, don't get the wrong impression here - by no means, am I perfect or reading this book and going through this program has made me the "perfect Christian", but I do feel that it has helped me understand what is truly important and meaningful in life, at least to me - a relationship with the Lord. And now I feel at a peace with myself on lots of things - yes, I still get upset about things from time to time, but instead of dwelling on the stuff that I do not have in my life like a wife and kids, I look at the stuff that I do have and thank God for those things. Trying to become closer to Him and putting your trust in Him allows you to not only change your perspective and viewpoint on many things but also helps you realize all the good things in your life, as well. Funny thing is that someone who I dated over a year ago called me up shortly after I started this program - someone that I thought I would never hear from again. What started out as a surprise but pleasant phone call has turned into a friendship that may be better than any other I have right now. And we have now decided to see if there is something more there than just a friendship, but at the same time, we both want to remain friends, first and foremost. And if that is all we ever are, I am okay with it because I am trusting in God that he will find somebody or something else to keep me fulfilled. Several people who see me all the time have been absolutely amazed at how I am handling this because they knew how the old me was. They figured that I would be pushing on this girl a relationship so bad, that they are scratching their heads that I am not. However, I really feel at peace with myself on this issue for the first time in my life. Now, I didn't mean to "go MacBeth" on you , and please don't take this as "You must become a Christian or you will go to hell" crap. Nothing is worse than someone who pushes religion on you. However, I really believe that a healthy spiritual state just like a healthy physical, mental, and emotional state is needed if you really want to get the most out of life. Anyway, hang in there and have a good new year, buddy.
I feel like a freak of nature- I'm a 23, and a girl. My girlfriends have been dropping like flies to the wedding bug, and a few already have kids. It's terrifying to think about how easy they have become mothers and wives. I never had those 'wedding fantasies' as a girl or a dream dress of any sort or any of that usual crap. I have had a boyfriend for over five years, and I am constantly bombarded with the "when" and the "why not now, you've been together so long!" statements. I would just love to tell everyone to shut up. I'm just not the biggest fan of the institution of marriage, because it's just another contract in life. I know that I love him and want to be with him forever, and so does he- why do we need a wedding to prove it to everyone else? Another big hurdle is the kids question. I hate kids. Don't like them, don't want them, never wanted them, and can't stand the fact that I was a kid. Despite every assurance to the contrary, I'm worried that he will begin wanting a child, and leave me to have them with someone else. So, I believe that it's just easier to not get married, so that if he does come to that conclusion, we won't have to worry about the financial and legal mess to divorce. However, relationship is compromise, and so we've had the 'marriage discussion'. We will get married, that is something that I am willing to do for him, but I still break out in cold sweats thinking about it. I feel as if it's just another 'knot' in the pattern, so to speak; once we are, I'm sure that people are going to start in with the 'have kids', because it's the next in the cycle. I feel that my fears are valid, and keep trying to push everything back down the road. I want to get my Master's Degree, and move around alot. I know that once kids are in the picture, you tend to get stuck where you are, limited in the things like proper education for them and good neighborhoods. Do you guys think I'm stupid or r****ded about this?
I'm the only married one of my friends (4 months now!). Sometimes, in conversations with my friends, it feels like this: (liberally adapted from Return of the Jedi): Me: Your future wife has been expecting you. Friend: I know, dude. Me: So, you have accepted the truth. Friend: I've accepted the truth that you were once [my name], a fellow bachelor. Me: That name no longer has any meaning for me! Friend: It is the name of your true self. You've only forgotten. I know there is good in you. Married life hasn't driven it from you fully. That was why you couldn't destroy me. That's why you won't bring me to my future wife now. Me: I see you have constructed a new beer bong. Your skills are complete. Indeed, you are powerful as your future wife has foreseen. Friend: Come with me. Me: [Friend #2] once thought as you do. You don't know the power of marriage. I must obey my wife. Friend: I will not turn, and you'll be forced to kill me. Me: If that is your destiny. Friend: Search your feelings, dude. You can't do this. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your whipped state. Me: It is... too late for me... dude. Your future wife will show you the true nature of marriage. She is your master now. Friend: Then my friend is truly dead...
I feel your pain. What you need in your life is a 42 year old single male musician who has never been married and has no desire for kids. Let me know when you would like to meet for a drink!
gs1998... you should talk to my girl for me! I don't see what the rush to get married is... everyone needs time to get their careers started and realize their idenity before moving on to marriage and kids... maybe it just me... but I am 24 and I know I am not ready for it yet.... don't know why, but I just don't want to do it now. Maybe in a year maybe in 3 years, I don't know. Just not now!
RMTex - F***ing hilarious. gs1998 - maybe you are gay and dont know it yet.......you know like Manny.......not that there is anything wrong with that. All kidding aside, when you are ready is when you should take the big step. You are still very young.
I was never rowdy. The only reason I went out was to see a band or to play with one. I don't go see bands as much anymore but many of my friends are still playing music like me. Maybe I only play in 2 bands instead of 6, but that just means less rehersal, which is never an awful thing. My wife and I were never big go-er out-ers anyway, so neither of us is really missing anything. Maybe the only change is not playing on New Year's Eve. At one point, I played on New Year's Eve 10 year straight. I finally decided I really didn't like being out those night and when you are playing mostly original music, there aren't many gigs for you anyway. I like to try and convince myself that the reason I wasn't wild in my youth was so I wouldn't peak too early like the captain of the football team at his 15-year reunion who is recently divorced, rapidly going bald, trying to sell you term life insurance and waxing nostalgic about how great it was in high school. In reality, I'm really just the same dork I was in high school. I never partied because I was either not popular enough, was busy trying to not play all the wrong notes or just didn't care enough. I guess there is something to be said for consistency.
Does bisexual mean me, you , and one of your hot blonde friends? No wonder this guy wants to marry you!
Place your bets on how long it takes before this thread gets out of hand now... I give it 15 more posts.
Men are such simple beasts. Anyone who thinks otherwise must not be bisexual. Baqui isn't here, so I'll take your 15 Jeff and raise it 5.
