you weren't prying. you were just wondering why i was a dumb**** by selling the darn thing. walking into my place tonight after work and seeing this piss poor excuse of a tv that i have now is a reminder. whether it's a strong enough reminder... i doubt it. it's all a matter of the way you think i guess... "rock bottom" or "things could be worse" (glass half full or half empty). btw, didn't mean to be so cold when you stopped by and talked to matt today at work. well.. thx for the thoughts, prayers, stories, etc y'all. really meant a lot. had a talk with a former boss at work today and a couple of friends as well... including one that has taken advantage of a treatment program that our company offers. the plan is to talk about it more tomorrow and go from there. from what i understand it consists of living in a facility of some sort while rehabbing (really not sure if i can do that). still not sure... about that or aa (though i plan on dropping by to a meeting in my community on saturday). thx again.
I used to be a big alchy in college, but got rid of it and replaced it with weed. Kept me at home, calm, and out of trouble. GL
My mom never drinks alcohol and about the most my dad drank was one or two beers after mowing the lawn, so he was never really an alcoholic, but I remember when I was a kid and I saw an uncle drunk. I loved this dude - he had a pot belly and was always letting us smack it and we'd bust out laughing (what can I say? we were poor - we only had fat bellies to play with.) One night I saw him come home drunk and that pretty much scared the crap outta me. He was off his rocker - nothing violent, but he was just so out of it - so stupid-sounding, that it killed my image of him as a kid. For some reason, that's always been burned in the back of my mind. I think it's one reason why I probably will never drink alcohol again (I drank a wine cooler when I was 18) - you never know when you'll lose control. My uncle eventually had all kinds of health problems due to his alcoholism and died a few years ago. I don't know what all kinda crap goes through your head as an alcoholic, so I can't say do this or do that, so all I'll do is wish you good luck and hope you pull out of this before you wreck yourself like my uncle did.
i can only view the board at work (typing this on a phone). i'll post once i get home from work. thanks for asking.
I've always wondered what the definition of an alcoholic is. For example, I'm quite sure a lot of people on here probably see me as one, but I don't. Mainly because I typically drink 3-4 times per week. But when I do drink, I can put most people under the table. I am called the energizer bunny for a reason. I'd say I drink over a liter of alcohol per evening out.
Hey, my wife was in AA, and has been sober for more than 5 years now. It hasn't always been easy or anything, but I'm proud of her for taking the steps she felt she needed to improve her life. I wish you all the best.
I define it based on if alcohol affects your life negatively. I know people that drink a 12 pack 4 nights a week, but it doesn't affect their friendships, job, cashflow, or health ( yet). I don't consider those people alcoholics. If you start getting in debt, losing friends, getting in trouble with the law, or have health problems, and still keep drinking then i think you may have a problem.
get a PDA on a serious note, I hope all is well, I'd ask you at work, but I know your not as open at work "in which", you literally sit like 3 desks away from me
i was going to post monday night when you asked, but something pretty bad happened sunday night that i'm sure would have garnered some negative responses from folks here on the board... though i probably deserved and could have used them to turn into something positive. sunday night, after a heavy night of drinking i drove home and ran over a curb turning into my apartment complex. blew out both tires on the passenger side and badly damaged one of my rims. that's what i didn't want to post on monday... figuring i would have gotten a ****load of responses saying that it "could have been a person" and deservedly so. i parked my car and set the alarm on my phone a couple of hours early to get it taken care of in the morning. i called my ex early the next morning and he came over to help me figure out what to do. fortunately, my insurance covered towing up to a certain mileage so i took it to the monterrey wheel and tire shop on sheperd next to the fiesta. there was some sort of a conflict with my debit card. they were saying that their card swiper thingee said was reported stolen (the chick behind the counter spoke very little english, so i'm sure there was a translation issue). i went to fiesta next door to use their atm and it kept saying transaction invalid. i called the card company and they said that there were no blocks on my card, so i walked about half a mile up the road to a valero to get the 105 bucks or so that it took to pay for the two tires and rim. i had to swing by my apartment bypassing a bath and ironing my clothes (looked like complete garbage) before going to work because i was already late. the first hour there was spent in the basement of the building crying and eventually called my current boss (different one from one of my previous posts) to meet me outside to talk about all things that happened the last several days. ultra embarrassing. another crying spell, but was suprised to see how a big guy like himself could be sensitive and understanding to my problems. he did, however, get mad at the fact that i could have hit somebody. we went back upstairs, i sat in one of the meeting rooms, he came back with a number to the employee assistance program, and he sat there until i was engaged in conversation with a live person. they emailed me a list of cigna behavioral health providers in my area. i chose one two blocks away here in montrose and was able to set up an appointment for 2:00 wednesday (today). this is the place i chose. the first five meetings are free through work and the rest are through my aetna health insurance. monday night (the night after the curb incident) my ex let me stay at his place while his parents were in town. it was nice just being around a group of folks that i was familiar with (his parents kick ass). it was the first night that i hadn't had a drink in... well... i have no idea. tuesday night, i was back at my place and yeah, i there was a bottle gin there. it was tempting, but didn't do it. anyhow, i just got back from the counselor/psychotherapist. the meeting wasn't long and i had no idea of what to expect. the most we covered was just the last week or so that triggered me to seek help. i won't get into details, but it was emotional stuff. i do think it helped and will continue to see him until we both see fit. he also recommended a psychiatrist that i plan on calling to see as well. one thing that was mentioned in the meeting was medication. i'm not a big fan of it, but not in a tom cruise sort of way... made that clear to him. i know that there's studies of folks that have chemical imbalances or whatever, but i don't want anything that's going to make me cope, be content, or make me learn to deal with what the issue is at hand. we both agreed that it's not a permanent solution, but he wanted me to consider. lastly, the one thing that i wasn't happy about was with the way the meeting ended. you know, it's almost like visiting a doctor's office and they try to rush you out the door to get ready for the next patient (which i understand). it almost seemed kinda hurried or something. other than that, everything's gravy for now. soooooo, no aa unless the psychotherapist or psychiatrist strongly recommends. i don't mean to offend those who attend or have attended, but just the structure of the meetings that i went to to support someone else... well... it seemed kinda cuckcoo (i'm sure there's a better word. maybe "not for everybody" would have worked). it probably wasn't the best thing anyway since there seem to be some underlying issues that need to be taken a look at. things are headed in the right direction. only two days since the last drink and i'm sure i'll slip up at sometime or another (being honest here), but now that i have some folks that genuinely understand and are proactive in intervening... they've made it clear that they'll help since i can't help myself. /lengthy macbeth-type post from an apparent crazy person
Wow, that's quite a story. Knowing the board, it did take some guts to post what actually happened, and I'm sure we don't need to reiterate what should/shouldn't have happened. And who knows? Making your story known could help someone else out here realize they may be going down the same path you're on. Thanks for sharing, keep at it, and good luck. It's still early, but it sounds like you're headed in the right direction.
Dude, where the hell have you been? OS has been open about his orientation for quite some time... Edit: Glad to see that you're getting some help, OS.
i go to psychotherapy once a week, imagine that . believe me when i tell you, it can be very beneficial. you are right to be cautious about medication, i'm surprised he mentioned this right off the bat. i've been going for more than a year now and mine has never talked about medication. the first therapist you get might not be right for you, if that's the case, move on to someone else. there are as many different types as the are different types of folks. and about AA, your therapist might ask you if you've considered it, however, a good therapist won't tell you to do anything. their job is to help you help yourself. look at the time you spend there as an investment in you, it could be unbelievably rewarding. i hope this is helpful. good luck.
Hmmm. I missed it, somehow. Regarding the AA, I think OS is being a little hard on himself. However OS, if you see it being a problem, and want to change, by all means it is your decision, so do it.
