Been a few years....I meant Grande....but.....early morning, no tequila, and my spanglish gets rusty. DD
my reaction exactly!! its scary how good the mental picture is when you know the ppl involved. as for this issue....It all depends onthe person....as a rule(before I got attached), I tried to avoid the real young ones since they were,as Manny put it, too flighty for me...too into the drama and games.. I guess that is why I ended up with a woman 6 years my senior...(Have faith Isabel, some guys appreciate the qualities of a good woman older than themselves)... so...if I were to be single tomorrow....I'd aim at between 28-45....
Ok, For a serious answer. I am 40, so I would look to date anyone from 22-45, just depends on the 'love" connection. DD
Jeff; I hit upon the age in issue in the giving up on dating thread. I'm 35 and in the past two years I've dated a 21, 22, 27, 24, 32 and recently 28 year old but prior to that I was in a fairly serious relationship with a woman who was 10 years older than me. I happen to look at least 10 years younger than my age and frequently get mistaken for being a college student. it sucks at business meetings when people think I'm an intern. So when I'm with someone younger there usually isn't a problem with looking like some old lech. Also I seem to meet mostly women in their 20's and frankly I'm getting more action now than I did when when I was in my 20's. Speaking for myself I think I'm much more calmer and confident now than I was when I was 25, along with being more financially secure, and I think women of all ages relate to that. That said I'm still somewhat worried about big differences in ages. There's too many cultural differences and where we are in life. When I met the 21 year old I didn't realize she was that young and she didn't know I was that old and things were kind of awkward when we found out but we were attracted enough to each other to go out. It didn't work out in the long run but there were no hard feelings because we realized that we were different enough that it wouldn't lead to something serious but in the meantime we could enjoy being together with no greater expectations. As for dating my age or older I have nothing against it but don't seem to meet many women like that who aren't married, coming off a bad divorce or something else. Also because I look so young I get the feeling that most women my age are leery. The person who I was invovled in who was 10 years older wouldn't date me at first because she thought I was a college underclassman and would be really immature. Also there was the time a waiter thought I was her son. My advice is don't get too hung up on age but if you're dating someone much younger or much older be honest about what your expectations are. In the end attraction is attraction and if you like somebody and they like you, barring legal or other things, go for it.
i agree, it's whtvr you feel comfortable with. but i don't think i'd like it if i was talking to someone and either i didn't have a clue who they were referencing and vice versa so i would prefer someone within a year or so of me. that's mostly all i've dated. once when i was 23, i dated a 28 yr old. it was rather annoying b/c he obsessed abt how much older he was than me and how he felt old around me. my advice is--don't do that. amfootball-i understand what you mean. i'm not gonna describe what i look like, but i'm normal 26 yr old girl that loves to go out, drink, party and watch sports. yet for the longest time no one asks me out? i couldn't figure it out either. one hypothesis is that i have too many friends (mostly guys, hey, i'm in engineering, it happens) and it's intimidating for guys...i dunno. but i'm dating someone now and very happy so i don't have to worry abt it for awhile. good luck to ya!
I always find this interesting because most guys complain its hard to meet women. I do think a lot of men have fragile egos and fear rejection. I've had some nasty rejections and when I'm out meeting women I've got that in the back of my mind but try not to let it hold me back. The thing that seems to work for me is to start random conversations rather than targetting a woman with a pick up line. If I like someone enough I'll ask them if I can see them again and if they seem hesitant about giving their number I'll give them mine. Either they call or they don't and if they don't no big deal. I'm guessing the same thing work would work for women. Start talking to a guy you find attractive waiting to order a drink next to you at the bar or if the men's and women's bathrooms are close in the bathroom line. Start talking about anything, sports, weather, food, TV, work (maybe skip politics and religions). If they like you they'll ask you out and since you just started small talk you won't have the problem of asking them out first. One other observation at a dance club don't be afraid to grab a guy you find attractive and dance with him if you see him sitting there nursing a drink with some male buddies. Men are often idiots when it comes dancing and recognizing when women are attracted to them so most women just end up dancing with their women friends even while they hope that guys will come and dance with them.
sishir chang-what do you mean "esp to engineers?" in addition to being a female engineer, i become friends with some really great guys but most of them don't want to date engineers or else i become their girlfriend's worst enemy b/c i'm so close to their guy friends and it makes things awkward sometimes. so being a female engineer is not all that. plus when i was at UT, we'd tell our Communications friends, "it's quality, not quantity." there were some WEIRD ppl there!!!
All very sound advice. I also look younger than 35. I don't look like a college student by any stretch, but I could pass for late 20's pretty easily. And, like you, I'm more stable and generally secure than most, so that is helpful. But, also like you, I'm wary of big age gaps for the very reasons you mentioned.
this has always worked in my favor. i have never had fear of rejection when meeting women. i have always known what i wanted and told them so. attraction is relative and subjective. if they don't want me, fine, move on. ego, what ego.
Jeff - I mentioned before that I'm in the same living situation as yourself. If you do meet someone, a) are you going to bring them over? and b) how are you going to explain to your date about your situation without scaring her off? I haven't been able to figure that out, so I never bring my dates home.
Yes, they are for the most part. Jeff pretty much nailed it but what a lot of women don't understand, it *seems*, is that it takes a lot of courage for a guy to approach a girl or woman he is interested in, especially if he is a shy guy or one that doesn't have the greatest confidence in the world. Why is that? Because if he does get turned down, then his confidence (which isn't that high in the first place) gets knocked down even lower. I understand that women (most of them) want the guy to take charge and do the asking, although I always thought it would be great to find a woman who wanted to pursue me instead of the other way around, but anyway.. The two things that absolutely slay me about women are: 1) Not ever giving enough obvious signs that you are interested in us - believe it or not, some of us are pretty mentally challenged when it comes to picking up the signs that you like us. Cut out the cute **** and make it obvious to us, okay? 2) If you are not interested, just tell us! Nothing is worse than a girl or woman who thinks that just not getting back in touch with a guy to say that she is not interested is a better thing to do than being honest. I know it is hard and it sucks to have to tell someone who is more interested in you than you are with them, that you are not my type or whatever. But it really is better to do it that way than just to leave the other person wondering stupid mundane **** like "I wonder if I will hear back from Mary Beth on going out this weekend" when it is like 2 days before the weekend and stuff like that. I mean we are men, right? And I know it sounds like a contradiction when you bring in the point about rejection. But to me it is worse to get rejected at the beginning than after 2 or 3 dates, mainly because of confidence. I can at least say, "Well, I can find someone else to go out with and maybe we will click better than this last one." When you get rejected continuously and can't even get a FIRST date, then that is a problem. So amfootball, Too bad that I am 31 and not in Houston because you sure sound like quite the hot little number.
I have a feeling this may be part of my problem. I have a ton of friends...only about 3 of them are women. I've always worked in businesses dominated by men...I guess because I tend to have a lot more in common with men than women (what the heck do women do in the bathrooms of clubs for hours? I've never understood all that junk!). Most of the guys I've dated flake out on me when they a) meet my friends and/or b) find out I worked for a professional sports team all through college and yes, I did have locker room access. The latter tends to freak them out the most...I guess they figure there's no way they'd be able to "measure up" to those guys (who I never once dated), so they figure I'd dump them. Guys with self-confidence are harder to find than needles in a haystack. I found one guy who knows my friends and knows my past...he has a whole lot of interest...but still no date. I think he's getting closer day by day, but damn he's slow! I'm thinking about getting some candy hearts and picking out the "ask me" ones and handing them to him...maybe he'd take that hint!!! To all the single men and women out there...GOOD LUCK!
a) Probably not at the moment. Mrs JB and I already have discussed these types of things and we'll just work them out in advance. b) I'm going to be honest about my situation. If it scares someone off, oh well. My wife and I are close friends and will remain that way. If that freaks someone out because of that and/or the living situation, I probably don't want to be around them anyway.
I don't get what women are doing in there either. I know lots of women who are like, "Damn, I'm not going to the bathroom WITH SOMEONE!" As for the sports thing, I'm surprised men don't like that. If they are so superficial that they worry about how they compare in the "manhood" area, then they are probably spending a little too much time thinking about dick.
I can see why guys would like that. Personally, I'm a semi-traditionalist. I like the guy to ask me first...then, assuming he clears the background check (yes, I really do run these...it just takes a quick call to my buddies at the police station or sheriff's department...gotta make sure you haven't been convicted of a felony or are a sex offender of some sort!), then I'll take more control. I think that's a problem women have with men, too...at least I do. It's hard to tell if a guy is interested...I see a guy look at my body, but that doesn't mean he wants to do anything more than look. How the heck are women supposed to know when the guy is interested so she can ask him? Some guys will just come out and tell you, but it's my experience it's just the opposite. I've found that the guy tends to run from me when he likes me...this is not helpful...if I can't find you, I can't flirt with you! [QUOTE2) If you are not interested, just tell us![/QUOTE] Totally agreed. Why waste time? If I don't like a guy, I flat out tell him I'm not interested in a relationship with him. I don't like having to tell a guy that, but it's better than having him pursue me for nothing.
I screwed up the font on that last post...my apologies! Uh-oh...must go get ready for work. I have wet hair, no makeup on and I must leave in oh, 15 minutes! This should be fun! See ya guys after 10pm! I know I shall be home then...as I don't suspect the guy has worked up enough courage to ask me out yet....
can't speak for everyone, but you gals should know something very important: MEN DO NOT LIKE MAKEUP ON WOMEN
