I have a friend who's frequently in a similar position (moves a great deal), but he has scads of money, so that's a big difference. Anyway, he uses internet dating. I always scoffed at it, but it works for him. The guy looks like Hoss Cartwright of Bonanza (anyone remember him?), who looked like a giant goofus, but he's dated some interesting, hot chicks via the net services. (don't know which ones he uses, something your friend needs advice on) I've met some, and it shocked me that he was that successful.
You would be totally surprised. Here in Houston I've spent countless hours at the Home Depot and Lowe's in Meyerland near HCC SW. Babes galore, especially on the weekends.. I'm talking all the way from divorced MILFs right down to college girls browsing with their roommate trying to fix up their first apartment. Best of all they usually need help, check that, ALWAYS need help.. so if they look confused, you just go up and ask them about what they're looking for and help them out.. it is a great way to gauge if they're single, too. The worst part is there is usually a large portion of married women there, but hey, can't hit em all out of the park.
He needs to focus on getting his finances and career path together. People waste far too much time seeking out relationships. Just chill and the one you're meant for will come to you. Plus you save yourself a whole lot of money, grief, and boring dates.
I agree with Anti - your friend needs to start making some money and place so much on the side for dating purposes. However, I know how he feels - I live in a small town, not the type that sees myself as the clubbing type, and busy with my job. So I have used the internet and have found quite a bit of success with it. The thing about internet dating is that your friend will have to pay some money, possibly quite a bit (like 100 bucks or more) if he really wants to increase his odds but it could be worth it if he finds the right person.
I could reply with tips on how to be more social, anywhere, anytime, but maybe your friend needs to look at his job and education, first. Maybe he should quit being a taekwondo instructor, get a student loan, finish school, and get a real job. He can always do some martial arts for fun. He can even meet girls in class, in that context. You said he had two years of community college, but wasn't really a "school guy." Well, maybe he wasn't very targeted. He's probably realizing now that he can't build a very attractive life for himself without money,health benefits and a work/personal life balance. It would be good to work some of this out and determine who he wants to be, how he wants to live, and what it takes to do it. There are all kinds of people out there, living decent lives, falling in love, being social. he has to find his own way. It would be good to know what things serve him and should be welcome, and also how to say "no" to things that don't help. All that said, every day, it would be good to meet a lot more people. People are full of surprises, and we learn new opportunities from unexpected places.
So he works 50+ hours and is poor like nothing else. Maybe he needs to worry about his own financial and professional status first. Someone will eventually be interested, but he won't be able to afford a comfortable lifestyle for her, unless she's rich. (but then that prolly hurts the ego) I think he's better off letting the dating scenario come to him instead of having to consciously make the effort to meet girls. He has other things he should think about first.
Money doesn't have much to do with it. If you rely on it to get girls then you are weak. I know plenty of people without a lot that do better than fine. I know some other guys that make decent money but with not much hope of meeting a lot of girls. There are just different personality types etc. I would think internet dating, churches etc would be his best bet, though I guess you can't get the girls drunk at church.
Confidence attracts women. That means your buddy needs to figure things out about himself first. Women come when you are ready for them to come. He's not ready.
I never had any problems meeting girls, although I have to admit being "out of the loop" for a very long time. I used to meet them walking around at the park, at the grocery store, at parties (a very good way, if you have friends who give them! I used to be one of those involved in arranging them), at clubs and bars (the least successful... for me) and my future wife just moved into the house in front of my garage apartment. To tell you the truth, I feel a bit uncomfortable talking about the success my friend has had with the internet. If I were single again, using it wouldn't occur to me. I might change my mind, though, being 50+ and not having the long hair that drove the chicks wild! (being in love with my wonderful sweetie for decades makes this a non-issue, but you still think about these things sometimes)
I agree with this... When you're confident and happy with yourself and your life, then great things happen. Plus, you always find love when you're not looking.
HI I'm Donny. I'm not an actual Home Depot employee, but I play one on the weekends Home Depot and Bus Stops and Internet Oh My! I usually scan the local libraries for the hot,bookish type. The library I go to is near a college so there are many ladies there, some who work there.
confidence my friend... you have to be able to walk up to a girl and do the joey thing..."how are yooou doing"... hehe.. seriously though, just be confident and funny. last weekend, i beat out on several guys at a club and did a one night stand with a very cute chick. i usually don't do that very often, but she offered and being a guy that i am... who am i to refuse.
He would have to make time to venture our, or just get an arranged marriage... Internet or bar, but he has to look outside the box...Confidence is a good play...
Confidence is the key Tell your friend that whenever he sees a hot chick he should just walk right up to her and say "Hey, you kick ass" If I weren't married like forever, I would be all over that innernet datin'. Sifting through huge data bases to find a possible hits on copacetic traits has got to have a million times better chance of of producing something than just the tiny sample of girls you actually come in contact with. It would probably be amazing to see the percentage of college educated men that select their wives out of only the pool of women available at their own college. I know I did..but I just got real lucky. That could be partly why the divorce rate is 50%. If you listed yourself as a hopeless slacker on your bio then your probably not going to get dates with girls who want you to be Mr. Responsibility or that think they will change you into that. No wait...they all do that.
If he's in Houston, I'd recommend hanging at the Target on San Felipe. Lord, some attractive women shop at that place.
lets see he's in his early 20's and just had a bad breakup? This is not the time for him to try to get another girl. It's his time to hang out with the boys, go hit the gym, concentrate on finding a career. Make some money and buy himself some expensive toys. Girls will come to him when he's not trying. If he is trying, they'll avoid him like he has the plague
Or, if you can brave the crowds, the Galleria at this time of year. Thank God our offices just moved to directly across the street. That's a fun lunch.
Tell your friend to go see Brokeback Mountain, and sit next to the lone man in a trench coat. He has some hands on advice.
EXACTLY. Too many people get hung up on the idea of being single and whatever stigma goes along with it. Screw that. There is nothing wrong with being single, and him getting the rest of his life together FIRST will only make his romantic pursuits easier on him when he finally reaches that stage. If he has no money and has no one that can help him with money, how is he planning on taking these girls out anyway?
1. Join the Army and pick a job description that has good percentages. (Medical MOS's usually are at least 50/50) 2. Volunteer at an old folks home, and get fixed up with younger relatives. (Old people are such busy bodies) 3. Study up on fashion, pretend to be gay, and become best freinds with women. Then tell them that they are the reason you are reconsidering your sexuality. 4. Church
