I'm going to disagree with all this lawyer up and cover your ass and dump her advice. I get the sense you want to save the marriage if possible. So you should both go to counseling (marriage and she needs personal counseling and maybe you too). Every marriage has rough spots and its easy to quit in my opinion. Everyones situation is unique. Ride it out to the end. at least you will be able to say you gave it your best. Communication and not getting bitter at each other is the key. Counseling and a litte time to work things through can't hurt, making rash decisions can. Women are crazy, they make weird decisions, maybe your wife is just a little lost right now and can be helped back on course Try and save it, if it fails it fails but at least you won't regret not trying.
Explain how seeing a lawyer without her knowing will prevent counseling? Explain why he should risk losing seeing his child, while paying support for 14 more years. She made her move, he needs to prepare for the worst and work for the best.
mogrod, I believe you'll make the right decision. A friend of mine went through a terrible divorce and had to pay 35K$ in lawyer fees. I told him 'damn, that's lot of $$$'. He says " $35K is a small fee for one's hapiness" he found another girl and they are pretty happy. I think you'll do well cause you are good person, good people win in the end!
That is one expensive damned divorce. My law partner is a divorce lawyer, and I don't think he has ever charged anything near that for a divorce.
What does your wife say about this? Is that what she wants for herself and her (your) son? Pat Williams (VP-Magic) has an interesting book about bringing his marriage back from the dead.... sorry don't know the name of it. His wife regularly told him that she "hated him" as I recall. You're not that far gone...
Wow. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. My advice would be to use the forum as a vehicle to vent, but really you need to come to your own decision. No one here knows enough to advise you what to do in such an important and deeply personal issue.
Also. This thread is a reminder of why I will never ever get married. Good luck Mogrod. I'd hate to be in your position. I hope it works out for you.
he had to pay for both parties lawyers cause his wife never worked her life. i don't know the details but there were kids involved etc.
I won't comment on the wife nor the other guy, because I know this story is one-sided. And obviously, the problems of a marriage that's gotten rotten enough for a divorce cannot be summed up in 2 paragraphs. So in this sense, I agree that if mogrod wants to save the marriage, then he should make his best effort. That said... I think the saying "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst" is very apt here. Try to work things out (saving the marriage), but make plans in case the worst happens (nasty divorce and child custody battle). I think the problem here is that (A) she's most likely going to get custody of the boy and (B) the third guy is married. If he wasn't married, then there'd at least be the possibility that the guy can be a good stepfather. And if there were no kids, well, you wouldn't have to worry about an innocent being hurt. I fail to see any scenario, barring a movie-esque "she finally realizes her true love is you and you two live happily ever after" ending, where a lawyer would not help.
sounds like you are feeling sorry for yourself.. which is the wrong way to go in my opinion. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG HERE, she knew who she was marrying and yall have been married for seven years, since why all of a sudden now is it an issue that you are not affectionate when she is running off with another guy. sounds to me like she is looking for a cop out or an easy way out. i do not think she is as great as you think she is if she is going to go behind your back and do these things to you and your son. who all wants to take mogrod out for drinks?
Get custody of your kid even if you have to share it in the future. I"m sorry to say but your wife isn't worth it no matter how much you loved or still love her. It's normal for you to have guilty feelings and obviously you are really scared,but marital therapy is not likely to work. You should however get counseling and therapy for yourself to help you deal with these dramatic changes in your life. Good Luck,we are all pulling for you.
You can either get out of the marriage now and work towards becoming happy by yourself, or you can try to make the marriage work and look forward to this fate: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTkp9UqVVHs
it doesn't even make sense... how can feelings still remain.. after "moving on".. isn't that.. the opposite of moving on?
Ah. Divorce is so not cool. I hope somehow things work out for the best. I think the most important thing is your son! Don't stop being an awesome dad to him.
Give things some time to cool down. I would def recommend covering your "A ess ess" and copying those myspace messages (I'm sure the password is changed and/or the messages are deleted by now, but it can't hurt). Don't let anyone make up the decision of what you want except for you. We all make mistakes and her & douchemasterdouche probably had something a long time ago that might have been deep. Like you said, you guys drifted apart and she started to think about the past. Marriage ain't no walk in the park (thats why I'm waiting). A little effort on both parts can make things much better. Let her know that you won't give up on her if she wants to try to work things out. If she doesn't (and don't buy the "I don't know what I want" excuse), then you're still young and its not the end of the world.
