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[Advice] Making a Life Change

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by SirCharlesFan, Apr 2, 2007.

  1. SirCharlesFan

    SirCharlesFan Contributing Member

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    Hey guys. I thought I'd be the most recent to jump on the bandwagon and create a thread asking for advice from my BBS brethren.

    I am about to turn 23 and am at the tail end of my first year of law school. I have a Bachelor's degree, but with my major, it is probably worth less than the paper it is printed on. The only money I have in my bank account is from student loans that I started to take out this year. I really don't like law school and I don't think I'll make a good lawyer. I've always been a good student, and finished with a GPA near 4.0 in undergrad (not saying that as an indicator of my intelligence, but rather that I'm not afraid to do hard work).

    In law school, I'm not passionate about what I'm doing. I hope I'm not being too naive in hoping that I can find a career that I enjoy. Since starting law school, I've been a mediocre student and it's made me feel mediocre. Every day I wake up and tell myself "OK -- this is the day where I'll do better and change!" but it still hasn't happened. My grades are decent, I'm even in the top half of the class. I'm just not that happy. I know if I truly cared and put the time in, I could be near the top of my class at law school. The thing is, I just don't have the desire or passion to be a great law student. Being an attorney comes with a lot of responsibility and pressure. I don't want to get out there and mess up someone's lawsuit because I'm not giving full effort -- I feel that if I can't give it my all in law school, I won't be a good lawyer after graduation.

    Anyways, I'm rambling a bit, but I constantly think about leaving law school and how I don't like the way I've felt about myself as a person since I started last semester. I think all the time about leaving law school and trying to find some type of path in life that will help me find happiness. I've thought about going back to undergrad and pursuing a business degree, saving up money and moving to Las Vegas to become a card dealer (don't laugh -- this one has been on my mind for over three years), or just working some local job that will pay the bills until I figure out what I want to do.

    I guess my question for you guys is this: have you ever made a decision that has radically altered the course of your life and how did it work out? Even if things didn't work out for the best -- are you happy that you at least gave it a shot? Would you tell someone else to go for it? My biggest fear is finishing school, starting a career, making good money, then looking back and realizing it wasn't what I really wanted to do...that despite my "success" as viewed from the outside, I didn't achieve success on the inside (how I felt about myself).

    Anyways, thanks for at least reading what I have to say . . .
     
  2. Kam

    Kam Contributing Member

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    If you don't finish, an innocent man will go to jail.

    Pshh, Computer newbie.
     
  3. bejezuz

    bejezuz Contributing Member

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    Why the heck are you crying about your grades? You're a month away from finals in your second semester. If you decided to bust ass right now, you could make a huge jump in the class.

    I've seen too many people quit emotionally just because law school wasn't what they expected. You're not giving it a chance. You can't make a decision on whether you'll be happy as a lawyer or even in law school when you haven't even finished first year.

    Or you could quit. And twenty years from now you'll hate yourself for it. Right now you're 23 and this is the hardest thing you've ever had to do. Most law students your age are overwhelmed and don't have the correct perspective to dig in and just see things through. Finish the year strong, and then give it another year before you throw it all away, because there ain't no going back.

    Sorry for being such a dick, but really, if you take my advice and see things through, someday you'll thank me. There is life after 1L, and I think it was all worth it. You're in the worst possible position right now to make this decision.
     
    #3 bejezuz, Apr 2, 2007
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2007
  4. Uprising

    Uprising Contributing Member

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    I made a big change in my life last year too. I was an engineering student, and got talked into trying EMS.

    I'm loving EMS so much right now (a lot of fun....but obviously, down the road won't pay all the bills), and I'm hoping to attend med school next fall.
     
  5. SirCharlesFan

    SirCharlesFan Contributing Member

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    I'm sorry, I didn't know I was "crying" about my grades. I said I know I could do better. I'll also say I got the grades I deserved last summer. I said that my grades weren't that great because I wasn't all that enthused about the experience.
     
  6. pchan

    pchan Member

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    I am in a similar situation. I graduated from undergrad with very good grade and I have always been a good student not afraid to work hard.

    Now, I am at the last portion of my student teaching. They are telling me that I won't pass and I'll have to have another placement in another school for two more months.

    I feel so discouraged now, because I have worked very hard the past few months. I know I am not quite doing as well as I need to, but I certainly didn't feel like I am so bad that I need to have another placement and not be able to graduate on time.

    So, this is one thing I have chosen that have changed the course of my life. It is not working out right now. I just hope I can graduate after my second placement.

    I guess before you make up your mind, you have to think about how difficult it may be to get back to law school in the future. If it is not that easy to get back, you may want to hang in there for now. After all, it is your first year.

    I remember when I was an undergraduate as a physics major, I wanted to change my major after my first class. It was so different from high school. After I worked through that period, it got much better.
     
  7. bladeage

    bladeage Contributing Member

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    learn to play the guitar and default on your loans.
     
  8. Pole

    Pole Houston Rockets--Tilman Fertitta's latest mess.

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    You could make a lot of money being a lawyer, but not enough to make you happy. Actually, you could make a lot of money taking Paul Allen's job........but not enough to make you happy.

    No risk is too great to pursue happiness, but the older you get, the less likely you are to change your course. I'm someone who welcomes change.......yet, at the age of a few days shy of 40, I'm beginning to realize I've gotten too old and chicken-**** to make any truly life-alterning changes in my life (how's that for redundant?)

    Anyway, you're young yet. On the one hand, I'd hate to see you blow off your goal of finishing law school on a whim, but I'd also like to let you know that even if a change of course turns out to be a bad decision, you're young enough to both rebound and learn from the mistake. And that only becomes an issue if the decision is the wrong one.
     
  9. jlaw718

    jlaw718 Contributing Member

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    SCF,

    Take it from someone who's been practicing for about four years and graduated with several people who've "stuck it out" for the wrong reasons -- maybe they thought they were, for lack of a better term, "pot committed" financially, or maybe they were in law school to please their family, or whatever. Some of these folks lament how unhappy they are now and wish they'd never gone to law school to begin with.

    You simply need to ask yourself how you want to spend your day? And, if practicing law isn't it, you don't need to spend the next couple of years and thousands of dollars in student loan debt just to find yourself waking up and heading off to an associate job you regret going to everyday. Life is too short.

    Remember, we spend an inordinate amount of our lives working. The tricky part is finding that "niche" where we enjoy what we do and are half-way decent at it. As "radical" as it may seem -- if you know that your "happiness" is doing something else, then by all means pursue it! I don't care if it IS being a card-dealer in Vegas -- hell, I'd come play at your table and be happy inside that you AT LEAST enjoy how you're spending your day.
     
  10. Dr of Dunk

    Dr of Dunk Clutch Crew

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    Damn, I was with you until the card dealer in Las Vegas part... wow. lol. Well, I don't know what all is involved in that, but if that's what you want, that's what you want. I wasn't expecting that, though. :D

    Yes. I quit college to get into this new thing they called the "Internet" back then. It's worked out great. Hell of a gamble, though, and a ton of hard work teaching myself by buying well over 100-200 books over the course of a few years, working lots of overtime, etc. when I didn't have to. If you want it, target it, and go get it was my motto at the time.

    Well, it worked out, so I'm glad I gave it a shot. My only regret is that I didn't quit school earlier.

    I know some people are going to disagree with me when I say this, but make sure you're financially ok first before anything else. And when I say that, I'm not talking about "I can pay the bills off if I live paycheck to paycheck". I'm talking about planning for the future, illnesses, lost jobs, marriage, kids, etc. Think about the future when you plan. Then and only then do you think about daydreaming and what if scenarios concerning "what if I'm not happy on the inside"? I say this because I can guarantee you if you can't pay your bills, you will have a hard time being happy while living under a bridge somewhere. There are tons of jobs that don't pay well enough for you to survive comfortably, but are jobs I would love to have (working for the Rockets come to mind... hehe).

    If you work in IT/development, you'll find a ton of people who do not enjoy what they're doing and wish they were doing something else - I'm sure it's true of a lot of industries. They always seem to be tied to their degrees, and that's sad. I once had a co-worker tell me he hated programming for employers and it's killed his love of programming. I asked them if he could do anything else to support himself. He responded with "I spent 4.5 years getting a Comp Sci degree - what else am I going to do?" For some reason that did not compute with me. You're basically letting your degree dictate your life? Please.

    As for whether or not I'd recommend someone else to "go for it", I wouldn't. Life-altering decisions are best made by those living the life. I don't know you as well as you do. I can only tell you what I went through. All I can say is this : critical life-altering decisions are best made when you are young, because if you fail, you have time to recover. Don't wait until you're 50 to re-consider what you did when you were 25-30 - it may be too late to make the decision in that you may have family, kids, a house, and a ton more responsibilities to take into consideration. Right now your decision revolves around you alone (I guess).

    It's ok to be confused at 23 - most of us either were or didn't realize we were. Just don't make quick decisions without thinking things through completely, because as my dad used to say, lost time is something you never get back.
     
  11. Man

    Man Contributing Member

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    Good luck man
     
  12. Kam

    Kam Contributing Member

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    SCF, people here hate you. :(

    :p
     
  13. finalsbound

    finalsbound Contributing Member

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    Stick to facebook brackets, man.
     
  14. BrieflySpeaking

    BrieflySpeaking Contributing Member

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    open up a business, **** school
     
  15. FranchiseBlade

    FranchiseBlade Contributing Member
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    My brother had one semester left of law school, and he quit. My parents were very upset. They had borrowed, and paid money for him to make it that far, and wanted him to at least finish it, even if he didn't want to be a lawyer.

    He just knew that he didn't want to do it by then, and quit. He was doing very well with his grades. He joined all sorts of legal clubs or groups, and he said those people were so sad and depressed that they helped show him that he should get out.

    I don't think he's ever regretted leaving law school. It was the right decision for him. He's happy he made it. It was troublesome at first, but in the end it was the right thing for him.

    Just take some time, and if you know you won't be happy doing it, then don't do it.
     
  16. Xenochimera

    Xenochimera Contributing Member

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    well you can always take courses for a career that you love, plus, you are only 23, plenty chances and time left to make a life changing decision.
     
  17. AMS

    AMS Contributing Member

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    for real yo, but that just means more loans.
     
  18. BrieflySpeaking

    BrieflySpeaking Contributing Member

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    just have some money saved up, and if you get a loan be smart with it, i learned from my pops :cool:
     
  19. bejezuz

    bejezuz Contributing Member

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    Yeah, you were crying. Making excuses for yourself.

    Look, I've got friends that went to law school who shouldn't have. But I've got a lot more who were ready to walk away in the middle of first year, and a year later they're glad they stayed.

    Stick out the semester. Spend the next month giving it your all. If you finish first year and you still want to walk, then maybe you're right and the law isn't for you.
     
  20. Rox_fan_here

    Rox_fan_here Contributing Member

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    Bro after reading your post I realized that you already have your mind made up. There is nothing wrong with that, all you have to do now is man up and make that decision.

    The time to do it is now right now, and when you make that decision you will face 2 big emotions.

    One you will be very relieved because I don't think your the kind of person who will look back and doubt your decisions. It will feel like a huge weight is off of your shoulders.

    Secondly, you will be terrified. You will be scared out of your mind because you seem like a smart rational guy who cares about his future, and you just blew a sure thing for an unknown but you know what, thats the beauty of life. Thats the wonderful life altering decisions we are all faced with and its scary as hell sometimes but embrace that fear and realize that its a wonderful exciting part of growing up.

    Remember man there is no such thing as a mistake there is what you do and what you dont do. All you have to do now is go through with the decision you have already made for youself.
     

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