Elaine: "He took it out." Kramer: "Well maybe it needed some air!" ~~~~~~ Keith Hernandez: "Elaine, you don't know the first thing about first base." Elaine: "Well, I know something about getting to first base, and I know you'll never be there." Keith: "The way I see it, I've already been to first base, and I plan on rounding 2nd at around 11 o'clock tonight." Elaine: "Well, I think I'd keep an eye on the third base coach if I were you, because I don't think he's waving you in."
George: What is it about lesbians that men find so appealing? They don't like us. You gotta respect them for that. --- Elaine: So we're just a couple of white people? You wanna go to the Gap? --- Kramer: You're a RABID anti-dentite! --- Elaine: You see, you have tendencies. From there, you're just a quirk or two away from full on dimentia. Jerry: That could hurt me. --- Jerry: But, who's watching the Saab factory? Kramer: Jerry, Saab is in Sweeden! --- Elaine: See, the thing about George is, he's an idiot. --- Jerry: Well, good luck with all that. --- Jerry: Who leaves a pony country to come to a non-pony country? --- Jerry: We're in towels here, George. Towels! George: Ok, keep your towel on. Jerry: Ok, that's not bad. Now, get over here! ------------------ And then, depression set in...
"Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie" - Kramer, as MoviePhone ------------------ The KRUNKministrator
Kramer: (To Jerry) We're going to the game tonight. The Rockets are in town, and that Hakeem Olajuwon has an attitude problem! -------------------------- George: (To Elaine) You know, after all this time I was kinda hoping that you and Jerry would get back together. Elaine: Well, that's because you're an idiot. ------------------ Karma happens.... Victoria Titans to win it all!
Jerry (to George): "Do your thing there, where you lie to everybody." ~~~~~ Elaine: "Why should I have to call?" Jerry: "Because that's your thing." Elaine: "Calling up people I barely know and demanding that they return something, that's my thing?" Jerry: "Yeah, that's your thing." ~~~~~ Kramer: "It's a write-off to them." Jerry: "A write-off?" Kramer: "Yeah, these big companies, they write-off everything." Jerry: "You don't even know what a write-off is." Kramer: "Do you?" Jerry: "No." Kramer: "But they do. And they're the ones writing it off." Jerry: "I wish I had the last 30 seconds of my life back." ~~~~~ Puddy: "Feels like an Arby's night." ------------------ "It's like saying there isn't enough offense in football, so let's go to three downs." --Rudy T on zone defenses in the NBA
Elaine: "Puddy, I am going to hell! How do you feel about that?" Puddy: "It's going to be rough." Elaine: "Puddy, I can't go to hell. I mean the pitchforks... and the ragged clothes. And the heat! MY GOD THE HEAT!" I am slightly ashamed, because I know I screwed these quotes up somehow... but they are some of my favorite from Seinfeld. ------------------ President of the Anal Retentive School for Jerks Hey, I wanted to be president of something, and I swear everyone took every other presidential position already.
Freak, the jerk store called, and they're runnin' out of you. ------------------ The KRUNKministrator
I'll let someone else continue this... [This message has been edited by TheFreak (edited April 19, 2001).]
I really like this particular episode: Jerry: I think he converted to Judaism JUST for the jokes! Priest: And this offends you as a Jewish person? Jerry: No, it offends me as a comedian! ------------------------------ Kramer: Next thing you'll be saying they should have their own SCHOOLS! Jerry: They DO have their own schools - Kramer: Ahhhhhhh! ------------------------------- Watley: Jerry, it is our sense of humor that has sustained our people for 3000 years. Jerry: 5000 years. Watley: Even better! -------------------------------- Watley: Nurse, bring me a schticle of flouride. ------------------ [This message has been edited by Rockets Fan Trapped In MN (edited April 19, 2001).]
I'll help you out. Elaine: David! I'm going to hell, the worst place in the world with the devils, the caves, the ragged clothes and the heat, MY GOD, the heat! What do you think about that? Puddy: It's gonna be rough? Elaine: If I'm going to hell, you should care that I'm going to hell even though I am NOT going to hell. Puddy: You stole my Jesus fish, didn't ya? Elaine: Yeah, that's right! AAAAAAHHHHHH! (puts fingers on her head to imitate horns) ------------------ And then, depression set in...
Thank you, Jeff. I knew I didn't get it right... Jerry: Ok ok, where are you? Kramer: I'm at 1st and 1st... how can a streeet intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe, Jerry! ------------------ President of the Anal Retentive School for Jerks Hey, I wanted to be president of something, and I swear everyone took every other presidential position already.
What's even funnier is that there is no 1st and 1st! If you were at 1st and 1st, you would actually be at 1st and Houston (which is pronounced "HOWston" in New York). Go figure... ------------------ Everything you do, effects everything that is.
" I gotta have that chicken Jerry, I just gotta have that Chicken!!!"- Kramer ------------------ "Playing with Steve makes my job so much easier, "He's such a complete player. He has some great moves and shoots from the outside and in the post. We communicate well on the floor." - Hakeem Olajuwon "It's great to have that inside-outside balance," Francis said. "We've tried to get that all season, with Hakeem and me clicking at the same time.
Elaine: Don't worry. It'll just feel like an eternity. --- George: I'm the opposite of every man you've ever known. --- Newman: You're once, twice, three times a AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! Oh, the humanity! ------------------ And then, depression set in...
Passerby: Why does the Mailman have a bucket on his head? Kramer: Because we are blind to their tyranny? Passerby: Then shouldn't you be wearing the bucket? ------------------ "Of course, thats just my opinion, I could be wrong" -- Dennis Miller
George: What happened to the raisins? NBC exec: What raisins? George: There was a box of raisins here. Do you think that guy could have taken them? Who just takes a box of raisins? ------------------ "Of course, thats just my opinion, I could be wrong" -- Dennis Miller
