Now that I've read the whole thread I have to pass along a couple of my experiences. Cypresswood golf course Thank goodness for trees. Several years ago I made the mistake of eating something at the turn that didn't sit very well. After a few holes on the back nine I spotted a bunch of trees. I discreetly took off my least favorite golf town and tucked it into my back pocket. After putting out I announced, "I gotta take a leak" while hiking into the woods...only I went a little deeper than usual. I pulled down my shorts, took a squat and did my business in record time. I came out of the woods feeling much better minus a golf towel. I won't eat at the turn of any golf course. Cheesecake Factory/Galleria This restaurant was brought up in ealier in the thread. If you have to take a dump, use THEIR facilities. I've always found them nice and pretty private. Another place I'll use in the Galleria is the hotel bathroom. I don't think they like you to do that, but so what?
I have to share a story that Im not too proud of, but that my fellow Austin Clutchfans buddies might be able to relate to. It was another night at Aussie's - a volleybar and grill with 2 sandpit volleyball courts and pretty good looking but b****y waitresses (thats another story). I had just finished off my "Roo Burger" with cheese (apparently there was some kind of Australian theme going on at this place - "Kangaroo Chips" were french fries. Anyhow, after downing about 3 or 4 $1 Foster's pints, I was kinda feeling a little full. The Rockets won their game and I was on my drive home to my little garage apt. bungalow in Hyde Park when terror struck me. Ive felt this pain many many times before, but this was serious. Severe movements were processing quickly through my digestive track, and I knew it was going to be a close call. As I drove down winding 43rd street I was clenching like Ive never clenched before...... It felt like a vain was going to pop in my head. Finally I reached Ave D and took a right. At this point I was flooring my little Honda Accord. I pulled up to my place and before I got out of the car....... SPLAT. I ran inside and was able to salvage what was left on the toilet, but the damage was already done. Needless to say, I never ordered food at Aussie's ever again, and my jeans and boxers were trashed.
I don't trust fast food places because usually there is only one crapper and the chances are good that it might be occupied.
One day on the way back from Lunch during one regular ol high school day, i see this indian chic storming down the hallway at a rather high speed....then i get to class and it totally wreaked of booboo (bad booboo too) after five mins we find out the girl was in that same class room and had a problem holding on so she just let loose from her "caboose" as another poster referred to it. I must say that was the worst smell i've ever experience in my life, i can only imagine the embarrassment the girl felt.
My most exciting poop stories all involve a little rural village on Mexico's Pacific coast that I've been to a few times on surf trips. It is very primative. The only facilities are palapas (palm frond huts). There is no plumbing. But there are feral pigs. So each morning when you go into the jungle to take your pre-breakfast poop, you're lucky if don't get knocked over by a pig rushing to get its breakfast- ifyouknowwaddaImean. I took a girlfriend on one of these trips and she didn't poop the whole time we were there- at least 3 days. On another trip I went with some of my brother's friends. I was 17 or 18 and they were in they're early 20's. After a couple of days they got sick of the rough conditions and wanted to go to a resort, but I was there to surf dammit. So they left and I stayed. The next day I went to the little beach side restaurant for some huevos and papas. Then I went surfing in the morning and the evening. At the end of the day I noticed I wasn't hungry at all. Hmmm, that's a little strange, usually I'm starving after surfing all day. Uh Oh. What's that gurgling? I'm f_cked if I'm really sick b/c this village is remote and it's a good half day if you have to hike out and the guys I came with are gone. A quick sprint to the beach and 15 minutes of explosions from more than one orifice later and I was just fine. Finally, on another trip I had just paddled out when I realized I had to go. The waves can be fairly big and it was hard getting out. No way was I paddling back in just to poop. Sooo, I didn't-ifyouknowwaddaImean.
Awesome ! A thread about "dropping off the Cosby kids. " This one time, when I was a kid, I had Gray poop.
Apparently, when my girlfriend was little, she spilled open some blueberry muffin mix, and ate all the blueberries. Her poop was solid blue for like two days. It's one of her mom's favorite stories.
I will never in my life take a dump at UH, those toilets are redickulous. Has any one here lived to tell about it?
Speaking of dumps in public or "Drowing the Cosby's" (Good one! ), my work has excellent facilities, which I think is awesome. I basically have my own little "headquarters" in our bathroom.
My husband and I were staying at a hotel with another couple a few years back and I had to "use the ladie's room" minutes before we checked out. When my friend's husband inquired what was taking so long, I told him I was "logging out".
Hopefully you got to UPLOAD something, at least. Or was it DOWNLOADing? Either way, I finally found out why people who kiss ass so much at work are called brown nosers... Clever, arkoe... clever... I can't get the pictures out of my Motorola VT120 with Mobile Phone Tools... the File Studio displays an error and doesn't show my pictures... otherwise I would post the perfect LOG.
Definitely a down-load. My husband also had a friend years ago who made a makeshift sail out of a wooden skewer and a piece of paper and stuck it in his poo (in the toilet) as a miniature sailboat for the roommates to find.
this is a story i read from one of those mags like maxim or FHM basically, about this guy visiting one of the countries in africa. he's on a bus when he felt it. he goes to the driver and tells him he needs to use the bathroom, and the driver points to the back without lifting his head much. so the guy goes back only to see a bucket. thinking this was the norm in such an underdeveloped country, he gets his friend to cover him as much as he can. so guy does his business, cleans himself up as well as he can, everyone else by then pushing to the front of the bus trying to get away from the smell. then the bus stops in a lurch and the driver storms to the back of the bus and pushed open the door there to reveal a sparkling clean bathroom.
While their bathroom is OK, it is always crowded and they still have stalls. That is why I like the Saks Fifth Avenue third floor bathroom. Not crowded, and you get your own little room with a real door instead of stalls.
These stories are funny. I bought a smoothie in the Allen Center today. An hour later, my stomach was HURTING. All I could think about was this thread, and how I laughed at everybodys situation, and now here I am having to go. I didn't end up having to go though, so it was all good.
I just randomly heard Ron White, the comedian, on a commercial. All I heard him say was, "You ever take a crap so big your pants fit better?" I thought that should go in here.
