When the last time u guys had the dream where u are pissing and then u really do piss yourself? that happened to me about 2 years ago. luckily i woke before i completely emptied out, i didnt get any pee on the bed.
Clutch should require members to add disclaimers before posts this funny, for the sakes of those of us who work in cubicles. I was upstairs at Rudyard's, which any man who's been there knows has a bathroom with one urinal in the middle of the wall, around which three or four guys wait for you to finish. It can be quite unnerving, and was on this night. I broke under the pressure my first trip in, and waited for the stall like a nancy boy. Later, I came in behind a cowboy (reminded me of The Big Lebowski narrator). He took to the urinal while I waited because the stall was occuped. After a moment, he zipped up, stepped away, shook his head and said: "Ah man, I froze up. You go." I said, "Nah, that happened to me earlier." So we both waited for the stall. Wait, that doesn't add manliness to the board.
So I was sitting in a movie theatre with friends. We were the only ones in the theatre, watching some dreck like Chucky or something. Then all the sudden, my stomach made this ominous gurgling sound. My friends just turned and looked at me. "What the hell was THAT?" they asked. "I gotta go," I mumbled, as I made a mad dash for the door. The bathroom was just outside the threatre door, but it was gonna be a photo finish. I ran in, scrambled to undo my pants and just tried to minimize the damage. Too late. I blasted brown betty all over the toilet, the walls, the floor, everywhere. It was absolutely disgusting. So I did what any self-respecting man would do. I went and got my buddies to check out the damage. We were laughing so hard, we had to leave. I've never gone back to the theatre.
ugh! lmao. i hated people like you when i worked my first job at astroworld. yep... i was one of the unlucky ones that had to clean the bathroom. i threatened to quit once because someone purposely took a dump on the floor. it was round and not quite, but almost the size of a paper plate. of course it wasn't solid... pastey or something. i don't understand why people can't drop a deuce correctly. some feel that it's necessary to sit at a 45 degree angle when they schit. why? that just splatters the back of the seat/lid with the brown mess. do you feel that it's worth more cleanup rather than getting a few splashes on your arse if you sit at 90 degrees?
When I lived in the dorms at UT (Jester), someone went out of their way to take a dump and transport it to the laundry room. They then proceeded to place the poo into a dryer, then turn it on. Needless to say, I never used the dryers on my floor again.
The funniest one was when me and a buddy were using the same restroom, but there was a one stall buffer between us. So while we were sitting there talking, we hear someone come into the restroom so we become quiet. The dude sits down in the stall between us. We could not pass up this opportunity to mess with the guy. So my buddy starts by saying, "you want to play dirty TP war?" I tell him that I am ready. Then we start talking smack to each other about whose going to get who the worst. While we were talking smack to each other, we can hear the dude between us pulling out alot of TP quickly and in a panic. Then when we thought he was ready to leave, we started to count down from 10. By the time we got to 3, the stall door slammed open, he washed his hands quickly and walked out. I couldnt stop laughing.
When i was a freshman a couple years ago at UT. I lived in the San Jac dorms. Someone had taken a **** right outside my rooms door. RA was pissed cuz he had to clean it up. What is funny is that the prime suspect is probably my current roommate(not the one i was living with at the time).
I think this is the first thread ever that I have actually laughed out loud at every single post, especially GV and ArtV. Not sure what that says about me...
A couple of years ago I went to the movies with two of my friends and afterwards we all headed for the bathroom. We ended up in three adjacent stalls with me on an outside one. I'm taking a piss when I hear my friend yell out "You ****ing bi***". Turns out my friend in the middle stall shoe had been sticking out under the barrier and my other friend had pissed all over it. I got another one that has to do with bathrooms but not pooping or pissing. We took a trip to New Braunfels for some tubing and drinking last summer and after a day in the river I went to take a shower. After getting out, a guy and some girl were in the bathroom and the guy kept mean mugging me. So I figured out what he was waiting for and packed up my stuff and left. I get back to our campsite and tell my friends some guy is about to do this girl in the stall. They jump up because they think I'm lying. One of the guys friends is outside the bathroom as a lookout and yells something about asking for a lighter when we approach but my friend just runs past him. My friend got in there so quick he happened to catch them in the act and I can hear him burst out laughing. Then as he walked out, the lookout tried to play it off that she just had to use the men's bathroom because the female one was too crowded
Apparently when I was 3 years old, every time I would launch a stink pickle I would cry when I had to flush the toilet. My dad told me I would mention something about killing my squirrels.
Pooping in and out - I guess you've also seen that movie "Me and You and Everyone You Know" [EDIT] Crap, someone posted a link about the film already. So much for being clever.[end EDIT]
Okay...well, i was about 10 when this story happened: my family was at a very fancy restaurant in downtown Vancouver for the christmas day brunch. this place was top of the line and we were all dressed like we were going to church (or fancier). my dad bought my mom a new ring for some occasion or another and for some reason decided to try it on a little later during the meal. the problem was, he couldn't get the ring back off. he didn't want to make a scene with his 4 kids (all boys) laughing at his vain attempts, so he went to the mens room to try and take it off. it was a pretty busy restaurant with about 8 different stalls...and he didn't want to be taking the ring off in the open, so he waited for a stall and went in there to take it off so nobody would see him with a womans ring on his fingher. anyways...time passes, probably about 5 or 10 minutes, and my mom is starting to get pretty worried about my dad and whether he could get the ring off or not. so she tells my little brother (who was 8 at the time) to get my dad to relax his finger and stop trying to force the ring over the skin, but to just let it slide off. my brother agrees...but it didn't quite work out how my mom had wanted. he ran over to the mens room area (which wasn't too far off from the dining area...and he opened the door to the mens room without going in and yelled for everybody in the restroom and out of it to hear him scream: "DAD, MOM SAYS TO RELAX AND JUST LET IT SLIDE."
