Many years ago it froze in Austin. I was out with some friends, and one of them fell on the ice and chipped his tooth. He claimed that it didn't hurt and we should go ahead and see the movie as we had planned. We told him no, that his tooth was chipped and he should look at it in a mirror. We went to Whataburger which was on the drag. My friend opens the door to the restroom, and in the stall next to the mirror is man seated on the toilet. My friend sees his chipped tooth in the mirror, and rushes out of the restroom. He doesn't close the door, and the Whataburger has about a dozen customers in it. The guy in the restroom can't reach the door, and is meakly yelling 'hey, close the door.' My friend was too panicked to even pay attention.
An old roommate of mine used to do stuff like that. He would even throw the toilet paper away so it wouldn't cover the poop. Some nasty business.
When my brother and I were young, we would do it. We would throw the toilet paper as far to the side as we could, and then run out of the bathroom screaming, "COME LOOK AT MY POOP!!!" We didn't know any better.
I had an emergency nature poop the other week. One those "ate something bad" poops that comes out of nowhere. Starts with the sweats, then the bowels start quivering, then that countdown clock in your body tells you "YOU HAVE EXACTLY 2 MINUTES" until poop. The only problem was there was no place to poop. Wait, it gets worse. After the nature poop, I had to climb back in my car and drive home. Squishy squish.
that reminds me of this one time when i was in 4th grade. i was sitting in my desk and it was like 20 minutes til school was out and i had been holding it all day. and sometimes u know when u hold it can just be gas, so u kinda gamble with it and say, if i let this fart go it could bring some friends with it. or it could just be the silent fart and it could take some pressure off. so i figured what the hell, so i let out a silent fart but of COURSE along comes a some squishy poop. and i was like oh ****, literally. i was like omg its gonna start to stink soon, so i was like man i could feel the wetness from it in my shorts, luckily i had a sweater with me that day, so i tied it around my waist. and i got home and had to throw away the underwear cuz i didnt wanna tell anyone what happened. lol man, u guys are bringing back bad memories.
i once had a torpedo that was shot so precisely that it entered the water @ the perfect angle & disappeared into the sewage system! The perfect poop! anyone know what this means?: ))<>(( it is supposed to be the ultimate display of intimacy. I'll pass though!
Six-Heads quits for toilet run! "I just wanted to get out and go to the toilet," said former WBA welterweight champion Andrew "Six-Heads" Lewis after suddenly quiting midway through a bout he was winning on Saturday at the National Park in Georgetown, Guyana. Lewis was ahead on all three judges’ cards when he shockingly surrendered 37 seconds into round seven against Denny Dalton. Lewis later revealed to Stabroek Sport, "I preferred to lose the fight than mess up myself in front of all those people. Everyone saw that I was beating the hell out of Dalton. I was trying to hold in this stuff but in the seventh round I couldn't no more so I decided to quit." Lewis attributed his troubles to a milkshake he drank that afternoon. The Guyana Boxing Board of Control has withheld Lewis' purse pending an investigation. He is facing a possible fine or suspension. Wednesday, April 26 2006
This was years ago, but I had a boss that was very controling and had to know where you were at all times...She got us these Nextel phones when the walkie talkies first came out... Anywho, it was after lunch and I had to go build a log cabin, or drop the kids off at the pool, when I get this: Boss: Where are you? Me: Uh...busy...Can I call you back... Boss: I need you here, drop what you're doing.. Me: Uh, I am, I'm in the bathroom... Boss: Silence, then laughter...Ok, see you in a minute.. Needless to say, that stopped all the calls after lunch...
A friend of mine told me that the he was once at a gas station restroom taking a leak at the urinal, when a turd just came out of nowhere flying out his butthole. He then said that instead of totally crapping his pants, he was able to catch the turd with his buttcheeks, stopping it mid-crap, just millimeters from his underwear, using some amazing, unknown buttcheek reflexes.
Ha, the same guy I was using in the above post got a call from his boss while he was at the doctor in the middle of giving a sperm-count sample. He answered...
My wife and I eat at the Cheesecake Factory at the Galleria about once every 2-3 months when we are in the area. For some reason, I ALWAYS have to drop off the kids after eating there. Might be the oil in the food or something I don't know. It isn't anything to urgent, but it isn't something to ignore. Well, I found one of the best bathrooms around. I always go to the third floor of Saks Fifth Avenue for my after Cheesecake Factory bowel events. Clean, usually empty, nice fixtures, PRIVATE fully enclosed stall. Its like pooping at home. I don't know why more upper end stores and restaurants don't drop a little more money for fully closed toilet stalls with a real door. Maybe they don't want everybody coming to their stores just to drop a duece. I highly recommend it for the next time you are in that part of the Galleria and have an urge.
A couple of years back a buddy and I were in Austin taking in a night on 6th street and about 4 o'clock we decided to leave to go home. Well, on the way home I had to stop and "stucco the toilet". All I remember is that I wake up and he is gone! Appearently I had passed out on a 7-11 seat for about 20 mins and he was so drunk that he forgot that I was with him after he ate his food. I had to call a buddy in San Marcos to pick me up on 51st street at 5 am. It would not have been that bad except it was in the teens and the b*stard in the store would not let me stay inside.
