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[2013-] The Official NoFap Thread

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by supdudes, Jan 30, 2013.

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RocketsRed14 Member

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Starting today. Let's go.

This should be stickied as a service for all of clutchfans. For everyone to appreciate.

#521 RocketsRed14, Aug 10, 2013

Deji McGever יליד טקסני

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#522 Deji McGever, Aug 10, 2013
Deji McGever יליד טקסני

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#523 Deji McGever, Aug 10, 2013
gatsby Member

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Going on one month. Very proud of myself.

#524 gatsby, Aug 10, 2013

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plcmts17 Member

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gatsby said: ↑

Going on one month. Very proud of myself.
Click to expand...

That's great! Gatsby.

#525 plcmts17, Aug 10, 2013
VanityHalfBlack Member

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1 week, how long until???

#526 VanityHalfBlack, Aug 10, 2013
jae713 Member

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gatsby said: ↑

Going on one month. Very proud of myself.
Click to expand...

Did you loose your hands in an accident?

#527 jae713, Aug 10, 2013

supdudes Member

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VanityHalfBlack said: ↑

1 week, how long until???
Click to expand...

What are you trying to achieve?

If you want to cure arousal problems, then the prescribed schedule is 90 days.

Come to think about it, it should be called P90noXXX :grin:

#528 supdudes, Aug 10, 2013
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I went a month w/o p*rn in July, but I jumped off the wagon in August.

Gotta get back in since I liked some of the focus I regained.

#529 Invisible Fan, Aug 10, 2013
tonyt8605 Member

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supdudes said: ↑

What are you trying to achieve?

If you want to cure arousal problems, then the prescribed schedule is 90 days.

Come to think about it, it should be called P90noXXX :grin:
Click to expand...

Never heard of the 90 days thing. Does that mean during the 90 days you cant have actual sex either?

#530 tonyt8605, Aug 10, 2013
plcmts17 Member

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If you ever feel like falling off the wagon, watch this movie or this scene in particular. I wish I could find the whole scene when the interview starts and ends, but this is the best I could find.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Fa-3y73Flvk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

#531 plcmts17, Aug 10, 2013
Han Solo Member

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well...there goes that. Back down to a few minutes.

#532 Han Solo, Aug 10, 2013
supdudes Member

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I found this essay on noFap the other day, and it really is something every man going through this journey should read. It speaks so much truth, is so poignant. For anyone who needs a pick-me-up, or who wants to keep fighting p*rn-addition, please read this. It's a long read, but I think you'll enjoy it.

Looking at you Han Solo

self.NoFap said:

I am a man, just like you. I have lost relationships, just like you. The first woman to ever love me, I ruined her life and blamed her for abandoning me, which I am sure is just like you, if you are lucky enough to have been loved.
When I was a young boy, I used to read stories of great men. Men who fought dragons, who won the hearts of fair ladies, who conquered monsters and demons with their mettle, cleverness, and resourcefulness. I loved such men with all my heart, and all my life only wanted to be like them.
But when I got into the real world, I didn't transition so well. There were no dragons, princesses, and chances for glory. Boring jobs with hollow titles, trying to impress people with **** I don't need, learning that my father didn't love me ... all these things broke my heart. But it was a quiet death. A casualty in a war that no one hears about back home, so no one goes and looks for the body.
What does a man do with his life? So much around is empty, non-human, and based only on fear and greed and hatred of each other. And so much within is the same way.
For years I denied that this was happening. I pretended that reality wasn't so bad, that I could cope with my grief, regret, and despair. The consequences of those things were too terrifying to accept and adapt to, and they meant I'd have to become a man - something I wasn't ready to do yet.
p*rnography and masturbation (PoM) were an easy solution. I never wanted to get into the drug and narcotic culture. It just wasn't for me. PoM, however, I could do in secrecy, without spending a lot of money, and I could have endless variety instead of the same high all the time. I could do it when and mostly where I wanted to, and the lethargy, the deadness, and the numbing of the guilt and pain was the only way I could function.
And functioned I did, and well. I earned top grades at my school, had a beautiful girlfriend, was athletic, could speak mellifluously in public, could perform a variety of arts, and really had it all. I had a bright future, too, not just a present. And so I had everything I suppose, except happiness.
But what you do in secret eventually affects the rest of your life. This is where Libertarians get it wrong that you can have a private and a public life, and they can be separate. How is it possible for you to be two different people? You are masturbating. When you finish masturbating, you are the same person when you go hang out with your friends or your wife or girlfriend. It doesn't leave you. You did it. No one else might know about it, but you do. You can hide it, but you are still the same man. Who you are in public you might appear differently, but you still are who you are in private - only playing games.
Eventually the mask started to slip. I cheated on my woman. For eight months I didn't tell her. I couldn't. How could I? She didn't know. She didn't know about PoM or about being betrayed, and our relationship wasn't so bad. I asked a couple very close friends whether I should do it, and they each suggested not doing it, not ruining it just to feel better. But I couldn't go on. It wasn't about her knowing it, or about being forgiven. I wanted her to know me. To stop hiding, and to face her like a man.
And when I did, she left me. She couldn't forgive it, and I do not blame her. I was a hypocrite through and through, and she did what she had to to protect herself.
And so, I am a man just like you. I have failed just like you.
I've been doing this for about 20 years now, ever since I realized it felt good to touch oneself. And slowly, ever slowly, I am realizing that the dragon that George and the demon that Aragorn slew, that these myths are really stories about what goes on within us.
Our dragons are not the p*rn itself. They are the reasons we do PoM. Our monsters are envy, being too proud to admit to failing with other people, the fear of vulnerability, our laziness at trying to change ... There are solutions to every one of these, and they are so simple. But they are so hard to follow, and the reason they do not work often is because people give up halfway there.
How can you stop this awful habit? The simple answer is that you just stop it. There is no formula. People write these crazy blogs out there about all kinds of conditioning, neuro-linguistic programming, and other bull**** that only matters if you dupe yourself into it ... but the way to stop doing something is to stop it. It's your hands that touch yourself; no one else's. It's your eyes that do not look away when they see anatomy that should just be between you and your wife (you should be taking charge of your relationship with your wife and girlfriend instead of seeking fulfillment outside of it). It's your mind that you don't direct onto better things. When you take accountability for your hands, eyes, and mind, then you have real power, but you can't do it until you accept that it's you who does it. And only you.
Fear of vulnerability and pride are not the same thing, but they are related. You know you're a ****-up, that you've failed miserably, and that you are not being the father and husband and friend you could be. It's hard for men to admit this. Cultural pressure tells you it's all right to PoM, but in your heart you know it's a cop-out and a coward's suicide of manhood. What you're not allowed to do is to cry about why your dad never cared about you. You're not allowed to weep with regret. You fix it with alcohol, late nights at the office, an intrigue with some stranger who accepted you for who you were, behind the blue-flicker of a computer screen ... and all these nursed regrets only multiply as you see your kids grow up and leave without a good relationship with you, when your wife leaves you because you're just never "there" even when you're there, and when you wake up in a cold sweat one night 20 years later and realize that your life has passed you by, and that you're never going to do what you wanted to do because you never did the work necessary to get out.
Don't do that. There is a better way. The short answer is to find Jesus. (and to all you who think I'm just going to tell you my way or the highway and that I'm just pushing an agenda on you: don't waste our time ... I feel terrible for you, I felt exactly what you feel, and I love you deeply. But I am quite used to people shoving answers back in my face and then going off and living recklessly and failingly in their own conceited "wisdom". The proof is in how you live your life. Show me your truth by your actions, and then face me.) The long answer is to do what you know you have to do right now. Take what steps you have to in order to break free. See a therapist, talk to your wife and kids, make a covenant with your hands and eyes and mind, trash your laptop with a sledgehammer, or check into a rehab facility. You're sexaholics, weak, diseased, made rotten by your sins and evil, and you crumble too easily in the face of temptation.
But you are also greatness in chains. You are runaway angels who have fled from your destiny. You are mortal, yes. There is work on this Earth that is too great and your time is too small to make much difference. But the difference you can make is in your own lives. Forget about mission trips, founding your own NGO, and being a professional humanist. What you really need to do, what I am doing, is to be a good man in your own life, and influence the people around you in the name of love. Be a force for good. Break away. Just leave it, man. Just walk away from a broken life. You are still alive. You have lost much, yes, but there is still more to lose, and if you ignore it, you will never be who you are in any sense of the word pure. You were created good. You were made to be that way, and it was the awful influences and your own choices in your lives that have destroyed you this far.
It's not over. You're an adult. Take responsibility. Be Orestes against Apollo. Learn. Grow. You are still breathing, and where there is breath there is still hope. Be a better man than I ever was. And then help me. Because I can't do it on my own. Because I am a **** up. Because I have ruined everyone who ever loved me, and because I am just impossible to love. Because I can't cry in front of people without fearing being slandered again the way my dad did. Because I'm too afraid to choose to do something I believe in instead of caring about money and fame. Because I want sex so much and do so little to earn it, that it makes relationships with women impossible. Because I am not the archetype of the man I want you to be.
All teaching in some sense is a call for help. Why do you think people don't follow their own advice? It is because they are advising themselves as much as they are you, because they share your same weaknesses, and because they're not sure, either.
Don't do what I did or be who I was. Be men. If it means anything, I believe in you. And so does God. I'm getting there. We all are in some sense. So take your life seriously. It goes by too quick. Let go of evil, of pain, of regret. Forgive others. And live from your soul. You know it's wrong to PoM. So listen to it. Don't do it and then beat yourself. Follow the advice of those Furies. Change them into Eumenides. You have a conscience. Listen.
You can do this.
Click to expand...

#533 supdudes, Aug 12, 2013

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tonyt8605 Member

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supdudes said: ↑

I found this essay on noFap the other day, and it really is something every man going through this journey should read. It speaks so much truth, is so poignant. For anyone who needs a pick-me-up, or who wants to keep fighting p*rn-addition, please read this. It's a long read, but I think you'll enjoy it.

Looking at you Han Solo

Click to expand...

man that was a good read.

#534 tonyt8605, Aug 12, 2013
TdashDUB Member

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tonyt8605 said: ↑

Never heard of the 90 days thing. Does that mean during the 90 days you cant have actual sex either?
Click to expand...

No just 90 days without pr0n to help your brain/dopamine release disassociate itself with pornographic images as a means of its release.

#535 TdashDUB, Aug 12, 2013
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^ As much as I have disagreed with you in the past, Tdash, that's good advice, sir. KUDOS.

I've lost count of how long I've remained "free." I think I can buff diamonds.

Anyone else?

#536 SwoLy-D, Aug 15, 2013
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YOLO

No way

#537 Anas acuta, Aug 15, 2013
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hrad to tpye wiht dis stikcy keybord..

#538 SunsRocketsfan, Aug 15, 2013

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This may sound weird (maybe a little ghey) but here me out. After not watching p*rn or "spanking the monkey" for the last couple of weeks, I have noticed a difference in the size of my penis.

I have gained about half an inch up to an 1 inch in size. Also, it is much more hard and erect. Makes me wonder what kind of results I would get if I hold out for a couple of months?

Thoughts?

#539 mario_v, Aug 15, 2013
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Is there a problem with fapping without p*rn?

#540 M.G., Aug 17, 2013

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