I think the important thing here to note is that you actually took advice from somebody who gets paid to divert from reality. Stop being so dramatic and acting like your life is so depressing. You want depressing? Go live in a ditch in Rwanda and eat mud pies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Let me tell you one thing, doing what you did on New Years Eve will end up being a blessing in the long run. Believe me, I've been there... a whole years worth of wondering why life sucks and "what the hell did I do to deserve this, I didn't ask to feel this way". 2008 is a New Year, a new beginning. From this point on you will live life for yourself. Focus on you. Do not let the outside world cripple you into a state where you can't deal with being eyeballed by the store clerk while you're stocking up on booze. Everyone has to deal with it. Those who do not are cowards. I find it typical how you can sit down and express your feelings in poetry and song, but you can't go into a social setting. That means you are bottling up feelings and you think you are introverted when in reality you have a great deal to contribute. When life gives you ****, make **** sandwiches and sell them to blind kids. Those who sit around moping about the past might as well be crumbling up years of their lives and throwing them in the trash. Life works in forward, not backward. Move on.
Couldn’t agree more. I tried that “tortured soul” shtick in high school and a few years into college but it never worked so I finally gave it up. As soon as I stopped all that nonsense and just started being myself, everything turned around. Chicks don’t want to be around guys who bring them down, they want to be around guys who lift them up.
Don't sweat it..THere are plenty of women out there and if you're not in any shape to be in a relationship, what the hell does New Year's Eve have to do with anything... Get yourself in shape (physically and mentally) and find the women of your dreams... Good luck!
Any guy who has dated women at all has heard the following... "You are such a sweet guy and really fun to hang out with, but I just want to be your friend." Ugh.
Get your azz in shape. No woman wants a pasty whitey who is out of shape. The rest will start to fall into place
Yeah, that sucks. Been there. Normally, if you don't initiate a romantic spark early, you're toast. When showing interest and asking somebody out, earlier is usually better. For one, they're more likely to say yes. The more time that passes, the more they deem you not boyfriend material. Any interest they might have had has probably faded. The other thing is, if you spend month after month thinking about a girl, convincing yourself that you love her, and fantasizing about a future with her, it's going to get harder and harder for you to force yourself to follow through and ask her out. You get too emotionally involved in a relationship that doesn't really exist and you don't want the fantasy to end. And it makes the fall harder if you get rejected So let this be a lesson. Get yourself together mentally and emotionally so you can be at your best when the next love interest comes along. Then don't wait so long to ask her out.
Damn. With that technique, you'd get rejected 99% of the time. Don't ever do anything like that again when trying to get a woman to like you.
That sucks. Keep your head up. And take the advice of other posters here and don't let it all out like that (next time)
Man. The best thing you can do for youself is to stop drinking, start eating healthy, join a gym, work out, and work on becoming more social. Anyone who sat in their apartment, in the dark, out of shape, eating garbage would be depressed. I'm depressed right now just thinking about it. I'm going to the gym.
What you did took balls. I was always a chicken when it comes to stuff like that. But it's not as bad as it could be. Apologize laughing at yourself the whole time. That way it will take some of the drama out that you put into it. Say something like, "I'm sorry, that was a classic move on my part. I didn't mean to be an idiot, I think I was a little carried away with the festivities of the moment, and encouraged because I'd been talking to a screenwriter who convinced me that the whole situation was like a movie. Anyway I'm sorry, and I won't bother you anymore by being so silly. I hope we can still be friends, and you won't feel too awkward, because you really don't need to, and you don't need to worry about anything." Then get out of there as quickly as possible. Remove yourself from her world. She can then initiate any friendship moves that she wants. You may have changed her thinking, and a lighthearted apology will lighten up the situation a little, because it sounds like it was all very heavy. It might not change her mind(but it might). Either way you did what you could, and just keep playing out in public and meeting people. You don't have to date them, just try and meet as many as you can, and be active. It won't be easy, because most people are morons and annoying, but just try and have fun, until you find people that you click with. Best of luck with everything. I admire that you had the courage to speak your mind when the outcome was such an unknown. Be happy you did that even if the rejection feels horrible. Also just remember this. Girls get hit on and have to reject guys all the time. It seems like a much bigger and more embarrassing deal to you, than it was to her. Just try and be casual and lighthearted as much as possible around her. There might be times when the feelings are too much though, and if that's the case then make sure you recognize that and stay away from her. If you are with her, and it starts out where you feel casual, but the emotions start bubbling up, try and stay quiet. Just ask her questions that can get her talking, and try and find a way to leave. Good luck with everything.
i think he's referring to starting a relationship. it's when you've got her that bringing her down will keep her.
I do the same.. not introverted, just have zero casual social skills.. and sort of live life for the purpose of others I guess.. the focus is on those people that have meant a lot to me and my life.. and not on me.. but never gone that long without a steady a girl.. i've never had any trouble articulating my thoughts and feelings verbally though.. and knowing what is appropriate and when it's appropriate.. and what isn't, and when it isn't.. But this is how it works for me, this is who i am.. So i don't think it really is about his situation being typical.. or just a matter of not being social enough or uplifting enough.. More like.. either he wasn't being himself amidst the depression etc.. or he was being himself.. and this girl just didn't like who he was..
Keep your head up. I came home from helping a friend move last May and found that my wife had moved all her stuff out. No note, no nothing, other than her telling my sister she thought I was cheating on her (when it turns out, I've figured out very recently, that she was cheating on me). Fast forward eight months later (and a few months of too much partying) and I have built friendships that I never would have while with my ex, am nearly 100% out of credit card debt, have grown closer to my family and have met the girl that has made me realize that I have never been treated the way I deserve to be treated. I went from what I thought was the worst thing that could ever happen to me to being the happiest I've been in my entire life in that short amount of time. Keep on keepin' on, improve yourself, and good things will happen. And remember, everything that you're going through now will lead you to what you deserve. Regret nothing.
Has anyone ever seen someone pull that one off? Where you just lay it all out there where the poor girl is suddenly put on the spot after just friendly relations...and then they live happily ever after? Who here dropped a bombshell on a girl like that and came away with the girl...after just being friends, maybe with a little flirting involved (which those signs can easily be misinterpreted in friendly relations), and no prior physical contact? Also, take the alcohol out of the equation on both sides.
but then that too isn't always the case.. you get the.. or at least i have.. the "i put up with other jerks because they were just jerks.. so i forgave them. but you should've known better, so i'm never forgiving you".. twisted female 'rationale'.. or "Never let me down when I need you, or it'll set off a unpardonable chain reaction that'll irreparably destroy our relationship. And if you need me.. I'll uhm.. I don't know.. try uh.. well I want us to be there for eachother. Not just you being there for me. But to work together, because we love eachother. What i'm trying to say is.. Just try not to need me, ever"
I was on my old dog's MySpace the other night and saw her default picture. Wasn't hard to put two and two together. I care, but I don't. Whatever's happened in my past has led me to where I am right now, which is the happiest I've ever been.
