I'm not sure where to start with this thread, I could fill up pages and pages describing everything, but I'll try to keep this to the Cliff Notes version until further replies, lol. Highlights include: loneliness, depression, academic struggles, zombie like state more than half the time, and an unwillingness/no motivation to do school work while questioning how I will complete school for future semesters. I'm 24 and this is my 2nd semester up here Sam Houston (first on my own as well) in a different town. Granted, it's not THAT far from Houston (hometown) but it still feels like the furthest place on earth sometimes when I need some comfort. Anyways. I live up here and I do have my dog with me which is nice, but I find myself missing something when I'm at my apartment after class. It's just so lonely/quiet in here. When I try to do my work, I find myself distracted and wanting to do basically anything else other than my work. This semester (my 2nd semester here overall) I wanted my own place and didn't want a roommate of any kind, so that choice was actively mine. Yet, I feel like something is missing. Having a dog up here is nice and it helps to take him out and get me out of the house occasionally, but I need something more. I'm part of one club that meets on Friday's and that seems to be ok with getting out and socializing and not feeling so lonely/depressed, but it's not cutting it overall either. At this point in the semester, what do I do? It's a little on the late side (at least I think it is) to be actively searching for more clubs to join since most of their meetings are probably just one more or two more times before finals. In addition, any sort of intramural/rec sports are closed (in terms of new people being able to sign up or join any current teams) and I'd have to wait until next semester for those. The long paragraph above is to illustrate my next point about depression/being very unmotivated with school & life throughout the semester. I've always had a history of depression (maybe 6 or 7 years now) and it runs in my family to a degree. It was pretty good up until about this past Spring semester. I'm currently on anti-depressants and I do try to engage in talk therapy once a week or once every two weeks with a counselor on campus as an outlet. So I think I'm doing the right things with regards to that. Although I'm not really exercising much. I've almost given up on that these days. It seems like too much effort (like many things). There are a lot of times where I come home from school and just do nothing with the rest of the day. Whenever I start on my homework, it feels like someone is sucking the life out of me or maybe my apartment is sucking the life out of me -- I don't really know. Yet, I become so immersed in the doing nothing feeling that I don't even feel like changing scenery and going on campus or going to a park to try and get any work done that way either. This of course is affecting my semester quite dramatically. I've dropped 2 classes and am hanging in there for my other 3 I have. Yet, taking just 7 hours right now is a tremendous disappointment from the respectable 13 hours I started with. I'm 24 and just want to ****ing graduate already. I've already got either 1.5 or 2 years left at this point, I didn't really want 40 years more if I keep dropping classes at the rate I have this semester. I don't even have the full confidence in my major (of computer science) at this point, so that's also in question right now lol . Ok. If you've made it to this point of the post, then congratulations. You've successfully waded through all the above crap. Any suggestion or trips from some of you that have been there would help me a lot. Thanks for reading.
What you need to do is go out, drink and chase skirts. Have you considered joining a fraternity or something? Would probably beat anti-depressants. Being alone at home will only make it worse.
Im going to be real with you. It sounds like you just need to go out more. You are just lonely not depressed. Exercise. Sometimes we make life too hard. You are in college, have fun while you can lol, it doesn't get any easier!
You need to get out. Make friends. Plans things to look forward to. BELIEVE ME, I know how you feel about the loneliness thing. My first semester in college, sometimes I would sleep for 12 or 13 hours just to avoid doing anything. I was drowning in my own self-imposed loneliness. DOING STUFF changes things. And the exercise thing is so important. Awhile back I made a commitment to do an hour of all-out cardio every morning. Before I start my day, before I allow myself to have a defeated state of mind. It works wonders. Exercising in the morning really focuses and relaxes you for the rest of the day. I jump out of bed every morning now and I am not a morning person.
Find a girl....talk to said girl...buy said girl drinks and diner....date said girl.... Sounds like you need a gf, that'll take most of your me time away. I was in the same boat when I first moved to a new city for college, but that loneliness went out the window fast. Just gotta go out and meet some people. Nothing more depressing than only having your dog and or online "buddies" you game with to talk to. I've been in your shoes man. Infact, in my last semester I have to pay out of state tuition because I am going to go over the minimum hours needed for my major. Paramedic academy is killing me. (took it at a college when I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life). Now back on track to graduate with Business Degree.
Wow. This is supposed to be the best time in your life. YOU ARE IN COLLEGE! Have fun. Living alone isn't all that bad, it's actually nice. You get to keep your place how you want it, nobody eats your food, and you have peace and quiet to do your homework and sleep. You also need to think long term. You are in college to better your life and help career down the road. If you are stuck and think class sucks and you don't want to do your homework, don't live in the present - think about the future and how great you will feel when it's all over with and you have that degree. Life isn't always fun, life isn't always easy - but sometimes you have to just buckle down and do things you don't want to do (like homework). And loneliness is a part of life, learn to embrace it and it will make you stronger. One of the biggest strengths of a person to me, is the ability to embrace solitude - and not freak out and make poor decision for fear of being alone, it shows character. Most people get stuck in dead end relationships for fear of "not finding anyone better" and being alone. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel when you are alone, but to be able to make it to that light takes discipline that most people don't have. Now with that being said, get the hell out of your apartment and start doing stuff. I'd guess that you probably aren't going to bars and hitting on chicks because you have low self esteem. You probably have low self esteem because you don't work out and take care of yourself. Go to class, GO TO THE GYM, do your homework and then go play sports, catch a happy hour, hit up the bar or club every once in awhile, get out of your comfort zone (on the computer in your apt) and make new friends. The college years only come around once in a lifetime and I can tell you for those of us out in the real world, looking back, college was the best time of our life and we'd kill to go back there. I can tell you my story. I did the college thing and lived it up, lived with roommates, but man when my senior year rolled around I had to get my own place. My classes and research were so demanding that I needed solitude to get it done. I just locked myself in my room M-T and did my work and studied my ass off and then I'd still play some on the weekends, but I'd had never been able to make it had I not gotten away from my crazy roommates. I graduated, landed a job making 60k, and at that time (late 90s) it was decent money for a new grad, and I got a new car and was really making strides and then I got sent to San Francisco for my job - had to move there and I KNEW NOBODY AND I LIVED ALONE. And you are just an hour or so away from Houston and you are feeling like this? Come on man. And now, as I've said in another thread, my career has progressed and now I'm living in Ukraine. Yes, Ukraine - alone, I don't speak the language very well and I don't really know many people, but that doesn't stop me from going out, going to bars/restaurants asking for an English menu, chatting up the thousands of girls walking around on any given day and working on my Russian. I go to the park, or museums on the weekends, shopping malls, yes alone - even watch movies in Russian, in hopes it will help me learn the language. I found a gym close to my place and I still get my workouts in over here, even on days when its below freezing and snowing - I walk to my gym (don't have a car here). All my friends and family are in Houston. Compare where I'm at (Ukraine) to where you are at (Huntsville) lol, that may put things in perspective for you. You got to snap out of it man and get a firm grip on reality. YOU ARE IN COLLEGE. Get your studies done, take care of yourself and have fun.
Something I missed the first time I read your post..... Most people confuse comfort and familiarity with happiness. Being comfortable and in a familiar environment does not equal happiness - don't confuse it. Think about that one for a minute.
There's only two things you need to be focused on as an undergrad: getting good grades and getting laid. Get you some FourLoko and go chase some chicks tonight. You are missed your prime tail chasing years. You should be scoping out every piece you can find. As far as studying, if you don't make the grades, recruiters won't even sniff your resume. Hit up the library to do your studying. Get the f out of your apartment, find a study group or something.
Was in Huntsville last weekend since my girl hoes to SHU and have to say that place is very boring. But there are tons of bars so you shouldn't have any problems with meeting people. But if you want a good fix, get a job. I had the same problem last semester I would go to class then be shut into my room due to me not knowing anybody where I live. Get part time job at a restaurant or like a best buy so that your obligated to talk to people. You won't feel so shut in and you can make friends easy at work. It worked on my behalf and I happy since I don't feel that I have to drive home to hang with my friends.
Basically, you need to get the hell out of Hunstville because it sucks ass. Move to San Marcos and start attending Texas State. Your life will thank you.
-Exercise. Not only it's good for you physically, it helps with depression and relieves stress. It's a lot easier to exercise if you find a (team) sport you actually enjoy. Pickup basketball is the easiest for me to be active and meet some new people. -Find things to do. Whether it's things you enjoy doing, or getting a part time job (nothing crazy that'll affect your study). From my personal experience, if I have nothing planned all day, I'd just piss it all away and get absolutely nothing done. The funny thing is that you end up valuing your time a lot more and be insanely productive if you're busy all the time. -Take school seriously. I can't say I have done that in my 4 years in college, and I still regret not utilizing my college education to the fullest. It'll most definitely affect the rest of your life, so DO NOT **** it up. Go to a library, get out of the apartment, take away your phone/computer/tv, and force yourself to get study done. Seriously.
OP- did you make a new account?? seems really familiar to this guy http://bbs.clutchfans.net/showthread.php?t=193350
I am living by myself this semester as well and I do not like it at all. Definitely not doing it again. It definitely gets boring, but it sounds like you need to get out more. I try to spend as little time at my apartment as I can. I am at my closest friends house probably more often than I am at mine, at least during the weekends. Also, go home every once in a while if that makes you feel better, plenty of people come home all the time. I don't have that luxury because I go to school pretty far from Houston, but most of the local kids go home every few weeks, nothing wrong with that.
Look man. You're going to die. It is inevitable. Everybody gets one. Some day you will look back on your college years and kick yourself for not making life-long friendships and banging as many chicks as possible. If you're depressed... go see the school counselor, sometimes it just takes a few sessions to correct shoddy, negative thinking. Might make a world of difference.
