I have been trying to gain visitation and acknowledge paternity regarding my son, who was born in late 2005. His mother, who I wish I figured out was completely mentally disturbed before I impregnated, keeps moving around, not letting me see him for no particular reason, makes false accusations, filed a protective order that was completely invalid, and because I don't make enough money to hire a lawyer, I have been unable to do anything about it. I can't protect my son, I can't raise him, I haven't been able to see him in a year, and the whole ordeal has been so traumatic that a self-inflicted bullet to my ****ing head is almost a foregone conclusion any day now. My son's mother is a trust fund baby and doesn't need my help, and the courts don't care one bit, and have wasted my time. I have even had to go to jail for awhile for no reason, just for sending a non-threatening email pleading for her to do the right thing, and stop lying. Humanity is hopeless and I can't wait until this whole corrupt bull**** human civilization falls apart, which is just a matter of time.
Modern Fatherhood You as a man .. have not rights unless they are given to you by the mother and yea. . she can change her mind at anytime.. . . so says the courts/law Rocket River
The system favors the mother in almost every situation involving custody battles. As a man/father, just know that you're ALWAYS at a disadvantage. Just don't pity yourself too much, it's not your fault, man up and improve yourself in every aspect of your life, and by doing so things will -- eventually, and with patience -- work themselves out. Just hang in there, don't do anything stupid...
No amount of "manning up" has or will accomplish anything when the deck is stacked against you and nobody cares. I can't protect and raise the most important person in my life, there is no person or entity that can help me and I've tried just about anything and everything. I don't even know if my son is alive or where he might be, or if they live here or have moved somewhere else. I am out of options and there is some pain that no amount of antidepressants or therapy will fix.
cagey, talk to someone...I don't know you, but I care because that could easily have been me when I was going through rough times when I separated from my wife and how or when I would see my 2 daughters was in limbo. Please consider thinking this through and getting with available family. Your son WILL get with you in the future and you WILL make a differance in his life, it's just a matter of time...I'm sorry for this situation right now....
You know, I'm sorry if I offend you saying this... but all I can think of after reading all this is how happy I am that my relationship with my ex fell apart right before we got married and had kids. I'm very lucky to not be where you are... this crazy b**** sounds a lot like my ex. Seriously though... my condolences. I can barely imagine what this must be like for you. Do everything you can to find enough cash to get a lawyer.
Having your only child taken from you in a government-sanctioned kidnapping may not be worth killing yourself for, but if not, I can't imagine anything else much worse....
Without revealing too much of my childhood or wanting to be too cynical, I can say from experience that if your wife is as bad as you say she is, particularly with any penchant for dishonesty or combativeness, it will probably come through in her parenting. The silver lining is that, once junior is old enough to refect on his childhood, he'll probably empathize with you and want to build a relationship. Then you get to tell your side of the story to the one person whose opinion really matters.
If you kill yourself then you're a quitter and a loser, and your kid may be better off not knowing you afterall. So think with your brain, don't be a knucklehead. Eventually, you will have a relationship with your kid, and judging from what you said it seems like the mom has enough cash to provide for him, right? So no worries in the short term. If so, just chill for now, get your mind right and then look for ways to get enough money to hire a capable lawyer who can get you at least visitation rights. Just remember this: if you do anything stupid or reckless it can only HURT your chances of getting back into your kid's life. So be calm, collect your thoughts and start working on a game plan. Seek some family help if you can (financially, emotionally), or talk to friends if they're around. Patience...don't do anything stupid or you will deserve whatever the heck you get.
Exactly. It will be hard to have justice without a lawyer. Just keep trying and don't do anything drastic.
You should read this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fathers'_rights_movement I am sure you can find something useful in the links.
cagey, I don't know what to tell you up front, but let me give you a little bit of advice from the vantage point of a naive law student......I know there are services out there to provide free legal services for people that don't have enough money to pay for lawyers. for example, where I go to law school, there is a legal clinic where law students (under the guidance/advisory of lawyers) provide legal services for free. there are also many lawyers that do work for free through certain programs. I don't have any specifics for you, but maybe you could try to google some of this information. if you truly don't make enough money to pay for an attorney, then you should be able to find someone to help you. sure, you might not get johnny cochran, but there are some good services out there for people in need. This might be a starting point for you. This is a list of legal services provided pro bono for people who qualify: http://www.abanet.org/legalservices/probono/directory.html#
I speak out against this sort of thing every chance I get, numerous times in this board. And I'm not even a father....you have my full sympathies I know someone going through the same thing now...We don't understand how its so darn commonplace and easily acceptable that any she-devil can traipse into a court room and have full government and societal support behind her. Thing is though, times really are changing now and people are FINALLY starting to catch on. FINALLY starting to see that "deadbeat dad" is a total misrepresentation of men who are fathers. **** the p***y whooped courts to high hell. Whatever negative label they try to portray you as, you're NOT that at all. MOST OF ALL..you still have and always will have high value to your son's life and well being...you MUST keep remaining for his sake and yours. Oppurtunity, money, and a lawyer will come around..
My law partner does a lot of family law. I have seen a lot of things since we went into business together. Basically, establishing paternity is important. If you can get paternity established, certain rights attach. The court will issue an order regarding the holy trinity of parental rights...custody, visitation, and support. If you want these rights, you must establish paternity. This will also include a child support order. You really need to contact a lawyer. Most lawyers will offer a free consult. Many will offer a payment plan. You need to get into a lawyer's office and see what this will cost you, and get some legal advice. When you do go to see a lawyer, be sure to tell the lawyer about everything (the e-mail you sent, the protective order...EVERYTHING). I hope you get a good result.
For once, I agree with you, texxx. There's some good advice here, cagey veteran. You should pay attention and take it. As ROX pointed out, eventually you'll be able to see your son and have the chance to have a relationship with him. If you're not around, how will that happen? And if you do yourself in, how are you different than his mother? Get a grip. Don't ruin your life or end it because of this. Stick around for your son. Time can give you what you want. Time and a good lawyer. Trim Bush.
Was it the girl in the "Should I skip town..." thread? http://bbs.clutchfans.net/showpost.php?p=1694040&postcount=65 Or the girl in the "I keep attracting crazy women..." thread? http://bbs.clutchfans.net/showthread.php?t=82421 Or are they the same girl?
