After all the garbage he's sent the Astros way on Twitter it appears he may have been doctoring the balls or a teammate did for him... Only instead of trash cans being thrown on the field he could be looking at Bic razors and bottles of syrup... Maybe he's learned the Vasoline Ball from former Indian Ed Harris...
I thought of my poll after... I'll combine since you seem so sensitive about it. Would hate to hurt someone's feelings...